Have some fun and visit The Dialectizer, where you can enter a URL of your choice and have the page immediately transformed into one of several dialects, including redneck, jive, pig Latin, Cockney, and Swedish chef (I'm not kidding!).
Here's what the third paragraph of my previous post supposedly sounds like in redneck:
"Wal, guess whut? We haf had a lot of rain this hyar week. Shet mah mouth! A LOT. An' thanks be t'God, ah reckon we may haf succeeded in cornquerin' this hyar beast once an' fo' all! Fry mah hide! Time an' agin ah have helter-skelter to look out th' back dore an' time an' agin all ah have see is grass--wet grass, yessuh--but grass fum which th' water is drainin' mighty fine, preventin' th' ankle-deep lake thet was previously th' usual result of sprin' rains."
Hmmm . . . I must admit, some of that sounds vaguely familiar to this Texas born-and-bred gal, althought I think in this case the dialectizer may have thrown in some Huckleberry Finn and Uncle Remus along with the redneck. But who cares? The goal here is fun, not accuracy. So click on over and have a little (fun, that is)!
(HT: The Renaissance Biologist)