Pain

I have been blessed to have been quite healthy during my life. Oh, I have had my share of issues. Severe seasonal and environmental allergies. Recurrent iritis. A lifetime of fighting cystic acne. Jaw and TMJ problems. Some swallowing and GI issues. Bad feet. But modern medicine has provided tools for dealing with all of these maladies, and for that I am extremely thankful. I know that compared to the health challenges faced by many, my problems are mere annoyances. Yes, there have been times when they have challenged my quality of life. But none of them are life threatening or truly debilitating.

This past week a new annoyance came knocking on my door: back pain. There have been times in my life I have had a little bit of back pain, particularly after a marathon session of practicing piano. I was diagnosed with mild scoliosis many years ago, and I'm sure that that combined with my flat feet doesn't help things. But last week was the first time the back pain came and stayed for so long. And not only did my back hurt, but so did my neck, shoulder, arm, hand, hip, and knee, all on the left side of my body. I kept waking up every day expecting things to get better as they always have in the past but each day brought not relief but more of the same. It wasn't awful pain, but it was nagging and constant and hard to ignore. And after a week I was very, very tired of it.

So, what to do? Several friends whose opinions I respect suggested a chiropractor. So did my husband. But having never been to a chiropractor before and having been advised that chiropractic approaches vary greatly and therefore it is important to research and ask a lot of questions before choosing a doctor, I found myself defaulting to the family doctor, at least as a starting place. I called and to my surprise discovered that the family practice we have long patronized has recently added a new M.D. who is also a D.O. (doctor of osteopathy). To my further surprise and good fortune I was told that the D.O. happened to have an appointment that day due to a cancellation. I saw her and for the first time in my life was told that not only do I have scoliosis, but my left leg is shorter than my right. So maybe that's why the whole left side of my body has been hurting . . . .

My new doctor prescribed a course of Prednisone along with Relafen for pain and scheduled me to go back next week for a "manipulation" (in chiropractic parlance, an adjustment). She said that I would need that time to get to the point that I would be able to stand having her work on my back. When she touched my back during my visit it was so sensitive I could hardly tolerate it. There are probably 30 or more years worth of knots in that baby.

What amazes me about this whole experience is the relief that came within 24 hours of my doctor visit. I have not even gotten any hands-on treatment yet, but the medication alone has helped immmensely. I don't think I realized until the pain went away how much it was coloring my outlook. Now that it has substantially subsided I realize how uncomfortable I was. I think I was hurting more than I knew. My husband says I have a high pain tolerance and that for me to complain and actually go to a doctor was telling.

Having gone through a week of pretty constant hurting rather than off-and-on type hurting, I wonder at people who have truly serious, chronic pain. I can't imagine what it must be like. I was exhausted by my one week of minor pain; how must it be to face not a week but months and years of pain that is far worse?

I hope to not find out. Yesterday I renewed our expired membership at our local recreational center's fitness club. I am renewing my commitment to exercise and increase my strength, starting with my back and shoulders and arms. There are certain things I cannot control or change when it comes to my body, but there are other things I can, and exercise is one of them. Maybe this time I will see it through better than I have in the past. Now in addition to all the other good arguments for exercising that I have always known to be true, I have discovered another one: avoidance of worse and future pain. Talk about a motivator.

A New Beginning

Have you ever had the experience of being really ill, so ill that you didn't realize how bad off you were until you finally started feeling normal? Then because "normal" felt so darned good, you started thinking you were Superman (or woman), able to immediately return to full strength, scaling this mountain, traversing that plain, and plumbing the depths of the sea?

You may have then realized that no, you weren't back to "normal" yet--you were just emerging from the ruins, and it might have been wise to take a little time to finish climbing out before you started trying to rebuild.

This is kind of how I have been feeling of late. For some reason Revelation 7:14 comes to mind.

As I think back over the last couple of years I have to shake my head in disbelief. I would prefer not to rehash all that has transpired, much of it being rather personal in nature, but it has been an epic installment in our family chronicle, a conflation of many diffuse squalls into a perfect hurricane of a storm, and I think we are all a bit scarred from the experience. But I also have the sense that maybe, just maybe, the storm is finally abating. Shall we aphorize? Yes, let's. It's time to turn over a new leaf, find an open window, look for the rainbow after the storm, get a new lease (NOT leash!) on life, take stock, and plant some seeds.

So that is what I have been trying to do the last few weeks. I recently concluded a one-year contract working as a part-time staff accompanist at a local high school. On an almost daily basis for this last academic year, I have started my days by driving a half hour to school, working several hours, and driving a half hour back. What this meant, of course, was that the things I used to do in those 3-4 morning hours now had to get done by someone else, or at some other time, or perhaps not at all. Certain things, like laundry and dishes, give no quarter and will always get done, if not in the morning (which was my wont), well then, at some other time. Other things are easier to push aside (a fact which reflects not at all on the importance of those things but rather on the sinner's capacity for abrogating that which should be most valued). And one of the easiest things to push aside is personal care, both of the body and of the mind. So sleep suffers, diet suffers, exercise suffers, the pursuit of thing intellectual and artistic suffers, and personal devotion and prayer suffers. Relationships also suffer, because the exhausted (drained, used up, depleted, emptied) person is not effective at either listening or communicating and, himself in survival mode, has less to give to others.

I'm tired of merely surviving, of getting through the day in one piece. I want to thrive again.

Maybe it's too much to hope for. Shall we deliver another aphorism? Why not? Life this side of heaven is no bed of roses. But a rose here and there can go a long way toward making a lumpy bed more tolerable.

So the girl who couldn't bear to think of New Year's resolutions in January is ready to make some summer resolutions now. I have my mornings back, and here's what I plan to do with them:

1) Pray. First thing.
2) Read the Bible.
3) Read something else for my own edification--in a book, NOT online. (That is not to say that I'm swearing off online reading. But my written word consumption has been out of balance for too long, and I need to address that, for my own sake.)
3) Exercise.
4) Do some intentional rather than path-of-least-resistance meal planning (I'm talking with cookbooks and everything!).
5) Do at least one thing (besides the usual cleaning and maintenance) that contributes to the beauty and comfort of the home.
6) Work on my piano technique (i.e., play some scales).

That's it. I'm keeping it simple. But these are some areas of my life that I feel I have sorely neglected this past year (and beyond), and if I can succeed in putting them back into perspective I think a lot of other things will follow.

Here's to good health!

Six . . .

is how many repetitions I did on the abominal crunch machine at our community fitness center yesterday (10-pound setting). That may not sound like much, but considering that on my first try I couldn't do any at all, I'm feeling empowered. Yay for me!

This is pathetic

I have been trying to get more exercise this year. And although I'm still not getting as much as I should, I have taken a step in the right direction. It has helped immensely that back in the fall my family joined the local community recreation center, removing the excuse of bad weather. I think the fact that we are exercising together has helped, too, by introducing the element of peer pressure and cameraderie. We don't all go together all the time, but usually whoever is going has a partner. Finally, having an mp3 player has been a great motivation, since going to exercise also means an opportunity to listen to my favorite music or podcasts.

So in spite of the fact that I'm still not where I would like to be with respect to my fitness, I've been feeling pretty good about this whole exercise thing. The fact that I'm exercising at all is a great improvement over last year!

But a few days ago I experienced a major downer. My main goal in exercising is not to lose weight but to increase cardiovascular fitness and strengthen bones and muscles. As a small-boned person I am at high risk for osteoporosis (my mother already has it), and exercise is one of the best weapons I have in that battle. So in addition to spending some time on the treadmill, bicycle, and rowing and skiing machines, I am trying to introduce some weight training into my routine. So far I have mostly lifted free weights (very little ones) to work on arm strength. But this week for the first time I tried an abdominal crunch machine. Heaven knows, if there is any part of my body that could use some toning, it is my middle.

I was a total failure at using this machine. It's hard to describe in words how it worked; here's a link that illustrates it pretty well. I set the weight at what I thought was the lowest possible--ten pounds--and gave it my best shot. I couldn't do one single repetition. Well, maybe I could have, but I was afraid to force the issue for fear of serious injury.

The obvious question is whether I was using the proper technique. Both of my teenage children demonstrated and then watched me try to use the machine, so I think I was approaching it correctly. Still no success. What that means, of course, is that my abdominal muscles are apparently nonexistent.

So what now? I absolutely hate sit-ups & leg lifts and such (I suppose that's what got me into this situation in the first place). I guess I could just resign myself to a flabby middle (you'll still love me, won't you, family?). After all, I don't think there's such a thing as osteoporosis of the belly. But a flabby tummy now means a pot belly in twenty years, and I really don't want that.

So I guess I'm going to be hitting the floor. Maybe in time I'll be able to do a few reps on the crunch machine. My husband did inform me that I overlooked a 5-pound setting.

So, help me out. What are your favorite EASY abdominal exercises? Please, be kind.

Snow Day!

Last week our area of the country had a serious snowstorm. Snow began falling Thursday afternoon and continued into the night and Friday morning. It was a bit too much even for snow-savvy Chicagoans, so most area schools ended up cancelling (or at least delaying) classes. Oh, the joy that was felt throughout Chicagoland as children of all ages climbed back into bed and wrapped quilts and blankets around them!

Homeschoolers that we are, snow is something of a non-issue for us, but the snow this day was particularly fluffy and substantial and the temperature just right for playing outside, so we took advantage of the opportunity to get some hands-on learning (studying principles of friction, incline, aerodynamics and meteorology, donchyaknow) and headed for a hill at a nearby park. Here's the principal of our school showing the youngest student how it's done:

Phew, made it!
Time for snow angels (uh, I mean art class)!

Don't you just want to pinch those cheeks?

Now it's big sister's turn (I had the hardest time getting a photo of her because I guess due to her skinniness she shot by me faster than anyone)!

Good ride!
Don't forget big brother!

And now for something a little different! (And yes, those are tennis shoes on his feet instead of boots. Long story . . . cheapskate that I am, I couldn't bring myself to buy boots for my older two children because they are growing so fast I feared they wouldn't use the boots enough to merit the expenditure. Some years here we don't get as much snow as others. So on this day Big Brother ended up wearing Dad's boots and Bis Sis wore mine. I squeezed into an old pair of Big Brother's that he has outgrown. But that still left Dad without boots. Well, as they say, "where there's a will there's a way" and as they also say, "necessity is the mother of invention." Two pairs of socks + a few yards of saran wrap = dry feet. Voila!)

Show-offs!

And yes, even I managed to discover my inner child (I know, the sunglasses look really dorky, but let me remind you I'm a redhead--thus highly sensitive to the sun--and the glare from all that white is intense!)
It was fun to ditch the books & chores for a morning and enjoy some fresh air, exercise and family time. Thanks to Mr. Round Unvarnish'd Tale for proposing the idea! After our outing it was time for a stop at the coffeeshop for java for Mom & Dad and treats for the younger set. A grand day all around . . . and I think we may be looking at another one of these tomorrow as the forecast is calling for a fresh 6 inches!

New Year's Resolution

MOVE MORE.

That's it. Rather than make a long list of goals that past experience indicates I would quickly start neglecting, I'm keeping it simple this year. So I am not resolving to practice the piano more, or cook more from scratch, or read my Bible more, or floss daily, or be a better listener, or learn how to sew, or organize and print my digital photos, or spend more time planning my children's schoolwork, or stay on top of the filing, or study French more diligently, or lower my coffee consumption, or do any number of worthwhile things that would certainly enrich and improve my life.

If some of those things happen, I will pat myself on the back and enjoy the benefits. But knowing myself as well as I do, I know that if I start making a list I will continue adding to that list until it contains all the elements of "Cheryl's Perfect Life." And then it would be so daunting as to become a symbol of utter hopelessness and I would go down in defeat before I even got started. So this year, no list. Just one little goal.

MOVE MORE.

I have never been an athletic person. It's not that I'm uncoordinated. But I am also neither fast nor strong. I was one of those iconic "last to be picked for the team" kids. I have always much preferred to sit and think or sit and read or sit and play the piano or sit and do just about anything else than move and hurt and sweat. There have been times in my life when I've joined an exercise or aerobics class or even a health club. But invariably I did not see the thing through and the money that was laid down was ultimately for naught. I just don't like to exercise, and thanks to a good metabolism and small-framed, small-boned parents I have never really had to. I pretty much eat what I want, including indulging my highly developed sweet tooth, and still manage to maintain an appropriate weight. If I see the scale go up a few pounds, I slow down on my eating for a week or two until it comes back down.

Yet I know that I am not as healthy as I would like to be. I get winded too easily. I am tired a lot. I would like to have more body strength and stamina. And I am not getting any younger. As I look at my mother, who suffers from osteoporosis, I know that one of the best things I can do to combat the likelihood of following in her footsteps is to build up bone strength by exercising (and taking my calcium supplements). So when my husband recently proposed that we embark on a new effort to get a little more exercise in both of our routines, I didn't have to think twice. (He has always done a better job of exercising than me, especially in recent years. I am really proud of him for several years ago taking off and so far keeping off about 50 excess pounds!)

So the plan is to wake up in the morning, start the coffee dripping, and before doing anything else, simply MOVE. We aren't following any particular book or DVD or exercise plan or aiming for "X" number of sit-ups or push-ups or jumping jacks but instead are just starting the day by MOVING. We've successfully done so twice this week and have enjoyed the time together (talk about a fringe benefit!) and the accompanying feeling of increased energy and alertness. And who knows--if we succeed in this very small goal, maybe . . . but no, I think I'll stop while I'm ahead.