Life Update

Hello! Anyone there? Considering how infrequently I post these days, I wouldn't be surprised if the answer were no. For the three of you who are still dropping by on occasion, here's a "what we've been up to" post.  :-)

Tomorrow will be seven weeks since Mom died. I have been spending a lot of time in her room. A few people have asked if we will be moving into it (it is the designated master bedroom). Maybe we will some day, when our knees are tired of going up and down the stairs. But for right now, we are thinking we will make it into a home office/guest room. I have already started using it as a place to get away to when I need time alone to write or edit or just be. It is such a nice room, big and bright and peaceful. 

The college kids will be home in about a month. Yay! They will be home all summer, other than several weeks Trevor will be in Italy for a piano festival. We will cap the summer with a family camping trip to Big Bend National Park in Texas. I wonder if we can find any spots like this one to pitch our tent on?

Unpacking is going slowly. You know that old Benjamin Franklin quote about death and taxes? That's pretty much what has governed my life the last few months. Maybe some more boxes will be opened and some more books will find their way to the shelves after April 15. (This year I am doing taxes for a rostered, called Lutheran cantor, so there is a bit of a learning curve. :-))

I have several articles in the queue to get published elsewhere but I have no idea when they will see the light of day. 

It has become normal to see preteen boys not my own running around the back yard, playing video games in the family room, or scrounging the kitchen for something to eat or drink. Believe it or not, even though I am on my third preteen this has not been a regular occurrence in my life as a mom. I like it. 

According to Facebook, today is siblings day. Here is a picture of me with my siblings, taken at my mom's funeral:

Here's the same group 16 years ago, on my mom's 70th birthday (we haven't changed that much, have we?):

I sure do love those people.*

We are coming up on a significant anniversary in our family history. I can honestly say that we have officially moved from asking "Why did that happen" to saying "Thank God that happened." So much good has come out of it, at least for us. I don't know if the same can be said for others. I pray, if the answer is no, that will change some day. 

It's almost cocktail hour here in Oklahoma. Off to the porch! Wherever you are this Lord's day, I hope you can find a few moments to put your feet up, breathe in the Lord's goodness, and bask a while. If circumstances are such that you can't bask right now, trust that even when it doesn't feel like it, His light is still shining on you, warming, nourishing and sustaining you through the fallow time and readying you for the next growing season. His peace be yours.  

*These are the siblings with whom I share a mom. There are four more, two of whom are deceased, with whom I share a dad.

That moment . . .

. . . when you find yourself feeling blue because

--almost the whole left side of your body hurts due to a foot that probably needs surgery

--you are afraid of having surgery

--your refurbished laptop is broken and the place you bought it from is not coming through with warranty service

--you want to write but your laptop is broken

--you want to write but you can't seem to find the time or focus

--you have this blog that you don't know what to do with anymore

--your mom who lives with you does not like the new house, or much of anything at all

--you realize the college kids are leaving in about a week

--you're feeling and looking old

--you realize that the normal routine is about to return and you didn't get done nearly what you wanted over break

--your 4-year-old car that is taking in water when it rains just passed the 100,000 mark

--you feel utterly guilty and stupid about feeling blue because not only is it Christmas, but you have a great new house, a great husband, great kids, a great church, and overall good health, so what business do you have feeling sad, you big dumb ungrateful ninny?

Mid-August Report

A cool front blew in last night and brought rain with it. We won't make it out of the 60's today. How fitting, considering that I just dropped off the second of my two college students at school yesterday. Fall is coming. In a week or two our home school will kick off its last round of junior high as Evan starts sixth grade. Church activities, choir practices, and a busier work schedule will begin in earnest. Another summer, and the memories it generated, will be boxed up, tied with twine, and placed on the shelf next to all the rest. It was a good one.

Speaking of college kids, here's number two. This is how I left her yesterday, boxes still sealed, bed unmade. She is quite capable of fixing her room up the way she wants it, and I wanted to get back home at a reasonable hour.

Here she is with her new roommate, who is also a writer.

I think it's going to be a great year. She is taking more classes in the humanities and fewer in the sciences. Math is done. Hurray!

Oh, and before she left she wrote this. She is a smart one, that girl.

In other news, Phillip is preparing for another trip to Africa in November. He'll get a day-long layover in Paris, poor dear. This, his fourth trip, will be to the Lutheran seminary CLET (Centre Luthérien d’Études Théologiques), in Dapaong, Togo. 

I have a few more articles in the queue over at The Federalist. They're on homeschooling and education. Imagine that. :-)

Our tomatoes are almost ready.

Goings and Doings

Time for a "here's what we've been up to" post.

Hubby is on the road this week, doing some teaching and playing in South Dakota. I always look at these times as an opportunity to focus on neglected tasks. I can let the bedroom get even messier than usual while I create stacks and move them around. Time will tell if all that creating and moving leads to anything worthwhile.

Both of the college kids are earning bucks this summer. Caitlin is babysitting about 30 hours per week and Trevor is teaching with me at Sylvan and also doing some sub organ playing. They are both making great strides in their driving and hoping to get their licenses by summer's end. Yes, by today's standards they are old for getting drivers' licenses. It just hasn't been a priority for us, and with the craziness of life the past few years it was one of the things that got pushed aside. To kickstart the process we hired a driving instructor for some behind-the-wheel practice and now are just letting them drive as much as possible as we go hither and yon. I am getting to the point that I don't feel compelled to be a second set of eyes for them every second of every trip. Progress!

Evan has been taking swimming since early May and is also making great progress. He is counting the days until he goes to Lutheran summer camp next week. I have still not quite figured out how my Highly Sensitive Child who is deathly afraid of bugs and hates to be in wet or dirty clothes does so well at summer camp, but he does. He would go for more than one week per summer if we could afford it. This time he is going with one of his best friends from church, so he is even more excited as it is his friend's first time at camp, allowing him to be the experienced camper. I am so thankful for this opportunity for him.

Allergies have been horrible, just horrible, with symptoms of such severity that they make me feel ill. It was bad this time last year, too. I am loading up on OTC medications and hunkering down until it passes. For many years in Illinois I was on allergy shots but quit them when we moved. I may have to revisit immunotherapy but right now don't want to invest the time or money.

I finished my re-read of Pride and Prejudice. I liked it better this time around, but I am still not a huge Jane Austen fan. I will not be going on to another any time soon.

I am finding it difficult to reset my shopping and laundry habits for the increased numbers in the house. Probably about the time I succeed in doing so, they will leave. Sigh. The summer is going by too quickly.

Catching My Breath

It's been a long couple of months. First I was sick for weeks with a cold and cough; then Phillip was. Holy Week and Easter were wonderful but draining for us as a church worker's family. Prior to that I had several intense weeks of accompanying four different schools at solo and choir contest. There were trips back and forth to Nebraska and Missouri to pick up and return college kids. My mom was sick for a while. There was an--um--incident with the car (minor) that necessitated its being in the body shop for several days. Evan received his First Communion! And, oh yeah, there were corporate and personal taxes to do. Plus, I filled in as organist/cantor last weekend (not my comfort zone!) and still managed to write a few more articles along the way. Phew! No wonder we are tired!

Over the last few days I finally feel like I've been able to catch my breath and check a few things off the task list while doing so. I took the dog to the vet, my mom to the podiatrist, and signed Evan up for swimming lessons. I treated the perimeter of the house for ants (a problem we didn't have in Illinois!). I did some online shopping for a certain young man who's about to graduate from college. And I caught up (a little) on the housecleaning. The piles are smaller and neater and the dust isn't a quarter inch thick anymore. Yay!

Another yay is the big news from my son. He has been offered, and has accepted, a full tuition + stipend assistantship to study piano performance as a Master's student at Texas Christian University. TCU is the home of PianoTexas as well as the host for the Van Cliburn international piano competition. Trevor will be studying with Tamas Ungar, professor at TCU and also director of PianoTexas. It is hard to believe my son will be graduating in less than three weeks. We have started looking at housing options in Fort Worth and may have found something. Since Trevor is still in Nebraska at this time, my husband and I may try to drive to Fort Worth this week to look at it. Trevor is a bit unusual in having lived in the dorm all four years of his undergraduate career. I think he is ready for his own apartment now. Wow!

Church news is that our pastor, who had a stroke last month, is progressing well but is still easily exhausted. He is coming to church and putting in a few hours in the office but is not teaching or presiding at worship yet. We are blessed with a pastor emeritus and outstanding elders who are doing a great job of filling in. Other big church news is that we have found a piano to purchase for our sanctuary! It is a 7-foot Baldwin artist grand and should be arriving within a week! (happy dance)

It is raining today, but rain or shine, Phillip and I are going to have our caipirinhas on the patio (luckily it is covered). The temperature is pleasant and we have not had our Sunday patio time in many weeks. Cheers!

Caipirinha

The Weekend

I am one post behind in my month of poetry. The weekend got the better of me! Phillip has been out of town and I have been playing Cantor in his absence. So in addition to my regular employment there were extra rehearsals and practicing to fit in. Plus, true to form, I left the taxes for the last minute. I spent much of yesterday on them as well as on several articles I have in the works. This morning there were two services as well as another rehearsal; then it was off to the nursing home where I play a couple of afternoons a month. I am now finally home after a stop at the grocery store, and I think I am DONE for the day. Where is my bartender when I need him? (Sigh. He won't be home until tomorrow.)

Will try to get back on the poetry tomorrow morning!

Happy Spring! (with update)

Wow, a month without a post. I don't know if I have ever gone this long. I have been pondering the reasons, and I think there are several. First, I am writing more places these days! Here are a few of my recent posts elsewhere. I am quite pleased with this development, but also regret that it seems to be making it harder to write on my own blog. Time to write is a precious commodity these days, and I must admit that the larger the potential audience for a piece, the higher its priority on my task list. But I also find myself wondering if maybe this blog is moving into the autumn of its life. Everything has its season, and I don't know if Round Unvarnish'd is still going to be telling tales when I'm in my eighties. But who knows? Maybe some day it will no longer be "A Round Unvarnish'd Tale" but "A Much Rounder, Unvarnish'd, Peeling, Cracked and Weathered Tale."

So, I guess an update is in order. Several weeks ago we enjoyed spring break with Caitlin. Now she is back at school and Trevor is home. Ah, that we could have them both at the same time. But I guess this way, the joy is spread out over a longer period. This past week we went to see Trevor play for the last time with the UNL Symphony. He won the undergraduate concerto competition for strings/piano two years ago when he was a sophomore and again this year as a senior (winning his sophomore year made him ineligible to compete his junior year). Here is a video of his performance on the winners' concert:

Brahms Second Piano Concerto, Finale from Cheryl on Vimeo.

I have been sick for about two weeks now. Not stay-in-bed sick, but dragging-by-the-end-of-the-day-I'm-behind-on-everything-because-I'm-so-drained sick. It started out as a cold, but the cough is hanging on, and hanging on, and hanging on. I will go to the doctor this week if I don't start seeing improvement.

Our pastor had a stroke. He is only in his mid-forties. Thanks be to God, it was a minor stroke, brought on by things that can be better treated and managed. His family--wife and four sons kindergarten and under--and his congregation are praying many prayers of thanks that he was preserved in life, is recovering well, and will in time be able to return to his call as a shepherd of souls. What a gift is life, always.

In two weeks Evan will take his First Communion at Easter Vigil. I only wish his big sister and brother could be here for the occasion.

Under the heading of "what I've been thinking about," I happened across a video of Monica Lewinsky giving a TED talk on what it's like to be publicly humiliated. It was quite compelling and made me think of the OU student who was videotaped singing a terrible and racist song on a bus. Here's an article expressing the hope that that young man's entire life is ruined because that is what he deserves. I am troubled by the thought that we live in an age where someone can do something admittedly cruel and stupid but even after repenting and apologizing and trying to learn from the mistake be never, ever able to put it behind him (or her) because of how thoroughly documented and public our lives have become. I am not thinking now of Parker Rice--I can't speak to his character or the sincerity of his apology--but of people in general and the problems posed by the permanence of the internet. Even those of us who are not public figures (and so have not sinned in such visible ways) can probably relate to the admonition that "the internet is forever." Most people have posts they wish they hadn't written, comments they wish they hadn't made, pictures they wish they hadn't shared--and how much more dangerous is the terrain for young people who are still in the phase of life where they tend to think they are invulnerable. I am reminded of that picture often shared on Facebook expressing gratitude for having come of age before social media. Oh, to be able to take back that word, that tweet, that . . . whatever. And yet, more often than not, we can't. Because even when the world with its short attention span has moved on and forgotten, and the "sinner" is redeemed and going on talk shows and writing books, there is still the knowledge that the offensive thing remains intact, floating in the cloud, retrievable at any time.

It is a knowledge that makes the forgiveness of sins and the forgetfulness of God all that more astounding.

Random Thoughts for a Super Bowl Sunday

I think we'll turn on the game, but I don't know or care that much about it. I think I heard something about leaked balls and deflated commercials? Or maybe it was deflated balls and leaked commercials. Whatever. We'll sit by the fire, listen to the wind, and drink our hot buttered rum while looking at the screen every now and then. I hope all you sports fans enjoy, and I hope everyone's team wins. ;-)

I finished reading Unbroken. Wow. It truly did make the war in the Pacific come alive. What I can't stop thinking about is the fact that this was the story of only one man, one whose personal fame led to his having a book written and a movie made about him, but whose story is only one of tens of thousands of similar ones. I don't know how people who undergo trials such as the one portrayed in the book live to tell about them. The human will to survive is a remarkable thing.

I wondered, when we moved to Oklahoma, if I would miss the snow. I don't. I guess 20 years of it was enough. :-) (Meanwhile, both my college kids are getting a huge dose of it. Enjoy it while you can, my dears!)

My church body, the LCMS, is going through something. Five years ago we elected a new president and many of us were filled with hope that some of the troubling trends of the last few generations would have the brakes put on them. In fact they have. There are wonderful things going on and everywhere signs that doctrinal faithfulness has returned as our prime directive. In spite of that, a few are not satisfied, demanding that everything must be corrected now. I don't understand this mindset from people who would not demand that a troubled parish change overnight. I have not always been Lutheran, and I don't pretend to understand all the history. But I have read and understood enough to know that we are heading in the right direction. I also understand that no human institution is ever going to be perfect. There is no such thing as complete purity when it comes to the practice of sinful human beings. Those who insist on such all-or-nothing purity had better be prepared to sit alone at a very tiny table with a very long spoon. I am content to continue walking together with brothers and sisters in Christ who may be taking smaller or larger steps, perhaps walking with a limp or a crutch, or even being pushed in a wheelchair, as long as we are headed in the same direction and led by a faithful and trustworthy leader. Regarding those who are intentionally trying to cause the confused or weak to stray, I agree that they should not be ignored or downplayed. But I have no reason, at this time, to doubt that those whose vocation it is to address such deceivers are doing so. My calling is to pray for and do my best to encourage them while waiting upon the Lord, who, I know, will guard His church.    

Sometime in the near future I will have my ninth article published by The Federalist. I have also had one piece in American Thinker as well as one of my Federalist articles reprinted in the LCMS publication Notes for Life. Sometimes I think maybe I'm going to actually keep wearing this writer's hat. Other times I am terrified that a big gust of wind is going to blow it off any day now and I'll never find it again. But at the moment I am talking with a friend about writing a book and for once it is actually possible to imagine it happening.

Looks like it's about time for the game. The fire is lit and my husband just handed me a warm mug. Guess I better start not watching. Have a great night!

P.S. I just realized that I don't have a tag for "sports" in my category list. Almost 8 years of blogging and no sports. A jock I am not.

Since I Last Stopped By

Oh, my poor, neglected blog. I bet you thought that I had left you for someone else. But I would never do that. I have just been busy.

These days in addition to all the usual mom/daughter/wife stuff, I am tutoring at Sylvan Learning Center about three half days per week, accompanying two church choirs, and spending one day per week accompanying for a local middle school. My insomnia, which seemed to have gone into remission for a while, is back. Why is it that rest is hardest to come by when you most need it? I am reminded of this cartoon I have seen a few times on Facebook (please note that "laying" in the last frame should be "lying." But I digress.):

Um, yeah. The other day Evan (my ten-year-old) told me, "Don't worry about school today, Mom. You need your rest." Since I do need my rest, I almost took him up on it, but my Responsible Self won out. Nice try, honey.

Our homeschooling year is progressing pretty well so far. We are loving the handwriting curriculum. We have not worked in a swimming class yet. I need to get that done.

My big kids are thriving and blossoming and doing amazing things away at college, and I am thrilled for and proud of them beyond words. This is what parenting is all about--seeing them soar. If anyone ever asks me what good I ever contributed to the world I need only point at my children. They are, all three of them, better people than I, and that makes me happier than I can say.

My mom has been diagnosed with a squamous-cell carcinoma on her foot, also known as Bowen's Disease. A new journey begins.

It was a beautiful summer in Oklahoma, and is shaping up to be a beautiful fall. We are thankful.

I started reading The Hammer of God.

Peri-menopause is rough.

Forgiveness is hard.

Life is good.

 

I thought we weren't in Chicago anymore, Toto.

Yesterday I had one of those days, stacked from beginning to end. I used to have them with regularity when we lived in Illinois. In Oklahoma, life has been much less intense. That has been a welcome change, but there is also something satisfying about having a day where you don't have to think about what to do because it is all laid out for you. Here is my timeline for yesterday.

6:00 Woke up, had coffee, did two hours of Sylvan online training
8:00 Woke up Evan, showered, filled out forms for new dentist
9:30-11:00 Dentist appointment for me and Evan (no cavities!)
11:00 - 12:00 Grocery shopping
12:00-1:00 - Dealt with refrigerator repair man
1:00-3:00 - The lull in the storm. Lunch, coffee/Facebook/email break, a little school with Evan, made chili so it would be ready for drive-by supper later.
3:00-5:30 - Onsite training at Sylvan Learning Center. I did my first actual teaching! Phillip came home to have supper with Evan and take him to Confirmation at 6:00.
5:30-6:30 - Raced home, had supper, cleaned up dishes, went to church for Catechism/Communion service.
6:30-8:30 - At church. Yay!
8:30-10:00 - Came home, watched some Spongebob with Evan, got ready for bed.
10:00-10:30 - Read and unwind.
10:30 - Lights out (at which point, naturally, I was unable to get to sleep).

Looking over this list now, it doesn't seem quite as overwhelming as it seemed yesterday. I think the level of Crazy I am able to tolerate is declining as my years increase. Or maybe I'm just out of practice. But you see how much homeschooling got done yesterday. You can imagine how much housecleaning got done. Luckily, not every day will be like this. I have been wanting to do something about my Facebook addiction. I think Everyday Life is going to take care of that for me!

Schedule Planning

For those who are interested, I thought I would post Evan's and my schedule. It is still a work in progress and may get tweaked. But I thought my homeschooling friends, especially, might find it interesting to compare notes.

6:00 Mom wakes up. Have coffee/chat time with hubby, exercise, check email/Facebook/blogs, shower, do morning chores, have breakfast.

8:00 Wake up Evan if he is not already up. From 8-9 he needs to do his morning routine (breakfast, grooming, chores), after which he can have free time until 9:00.

9:00-11:00 Devotion followed by first school block. No screens for either of us. School work that needs more mom involvement will be the priority during this time. At least half of school checklist needs to be completed during the morning block.

11:00-12:00 Free time if morning school done.

12:00-1:00 Lunch

1:00-1:30 Silent reading, for both of us. I think in school they call it DEAR. ("Drop Everything And Read.")

1:30-3:00 Second school block. Finish assignments for the day. Practice piano. No screens (exception for me if I am writing, but no Facebook).

3:00 Free time if all schoolwork done.

This will be our general outline, but there are daily deviations, as follows.

Monday

Teaching at Sylvan Learning Center 3:30-6:30. Dad is home on Mondays so he will help out with homeschooling and cooking supper. :-D

Tuesday

Tulsa Children’s Choir for Evan, 4:30-6:00. From there Evan and I will go directly to church for adult choir. Fast food or sack supper night!

Wednesday

Weekly (or semi-weekly) play date with homeschooling friends, 9:30-11:30. (Whoops, there goes that morning school block!)

Teaching at Sylvan for me, 3:30-6:30. I will need to have something prepared for supper as Phillip will come home to eat with Evan and take him to Confirmation. I will meet them at church for Catechetical/Communion service. Another sack supper night for me.

Thursday

This is a lighter day! Right now there is only one scheduled activity: Schola Cantorum (children's choir) at 4:00-5:00. We hope to add swimming in the morning. Phillip has church responsibilities so I think Thursdays will be "Mom & Evan Pizza, Popcorn, and Movie Night." :-D I think Thursday will also be grocery shopping day. Um, maybe it's not such a light day after all. . . . 

Friday

Most Fridays I will be playing piano at a nearby school 9-10 and 1-3. Phillip is home in the morning to help with homeschooling. In the afternoon Evan will need to work independently, with me checking his work when I get home. He won't be completely on his own, though, as Grandma and Willard (the dog) will be here to help. :-)

Saturday

Teach at Sylvan Learning Center 9:00-12:00. Dad will be home most Saturday mornings.

Saturday afternoon: Laundry & housecleaning.

Sunday

Church and rest, of course! Not to mention caipirinhas mixed by my favorite bartender. Yay for Sundays!

What this helps me to see is that we will not be having supper together as a family Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday. I guess four family suppers out of seven is not bad. The nice thing about homeschooling is that we get more breakfasts and lunches together than families in traditional schools. Truth be told, I don't love cooking supper. I think I'm going to like this schedule. :-D 

(P.S. Ironically, even though I'm going to be cooking fewer suppers, without the freedom and time to make many quick trips to the market every week, I'm also going to have to get better at planning the meals we do have together. Hmmm, I think that's another blog post. . . . )

And so it begins.

Homeschooling.
Choir practices.
Two new jobs.
It all starts back up this week!

In light of the above, I have been doing a lot of planning and prepping, trying to figure out how it's all going to fit together. Last fall was strange. I wasn't working. I didn't have choirs to play for. My husband was in one state, I in another as we waited for our house to sell. So the mindset of "not enough time" that has been such a defining part of my existence for the last 15 years had a chance to recede. It has been a blessedly relaxing year, but I think I am ready to have more to do. Not as much as I used to, ;-) but more. As the schedule slowly fills up I find myself feeling more motivated than I have felt in a long time. That is probably also a function of fewer bad things happening. But busy-ness is good. It makes one feel useful. God knew what He was doing when He put Adam in the Garden to "work it and keep it." Even in his pre-fallen state, Adam needed things to do. He had a sense of vocation. Of course, during the time that I wasn't working a paying job, with two children and a husband at home, I still had vocational purpose. But now there is only one child at home, and he is becoming more self-sufficient, and as he becomes even moreso I am going to have more time to serve my neighbor. I am thankful this fall that God has seen fit to give me a few more ways to do that that will also put a few more dollars in the bank. :-)

So. How can I return to a fuller schedule without its overwhelming and getting the best of me? I think I need to reclaim a few old practices that I have drifted away from in the last five or so years. The first of those is waking up early. I used to be a dyed-in-the-wool morning person. When my children were small, I made a point of waking up hours before they did just so I could enjoy those precious, quiet morning moments. I have gotten away from that, in part because I haven't needed to wake up so early but also because of plain old apathy and lack of motivation. Instead of waking up between 5 and 6 a.m., I more often wake up between 7 and 8. That is late for me. Time to start setting the alarm clock again!

Second, I need to set limits to my online time. It is so easy to wake up, pour the coffee, go into computer land, and not come out until hours later. The result is that mornings, which have always been my most productive time of day, get frittered away. To avoid that happening, I need to set start and stop times for my online activity. And once those times are set, I need to abide by them.

Third, not only do I need to assign times for waking up and going to bed and using the computer, but I need to do so for other things as well. That becomes more needful and, ironically, easier when your time is no longer your own. As I look at my weekly schedule taking shape, with choir rehearsals, Evan's activities, and paid work claiming large chunks, it is going to be important to schedule the other things I want to do. Blogging, exercise, piano practicing, reading, housecleaning, cooking, shopping, laundry . . . . They aren't going to happen organically. They need designated times, too.

If you have any tricks or suggestions that you have found helpful for staying on top of the to-do list, I would love to hear them!

Let It Come

I know we're all walking around singing "Let it go" these days. Sometimes it's what we need to do. But long before Frozen there was Winnie-the-Pooh, and as Pooh patiently explains to Piglet in the passage below, sometimes it's not about letting things go, but letting them come.

Pooh and Piglet walked slowly after him [Tigger]. And as they walked Piglet said nothing, because he couldn't think of anything, and Pooh said nothing, because he was thinking of a poem. And when he had thought of it he began:

"What shall we do about poor little Tigger?

If he never eats nothing he'll never get bigger.
He doesn't like honey and haycorns and thistles
Because of the taste and because of the bristles.
And all the good things which an animal likes
Have the wrong sort of swallow or too many spikes."

"He's quite big enough anyhow," said Piglet.

"He isn't really very big."

"Well, he seems so."

Pooh was thoughtful when he heard this, and then he murmured to himself:

"But whatever his weight in pounds, shillings, and ounces,

He always seems bigger because of his bounces."

"And that's the whole poem," he said. "Do you like it, Piglet?"

"All except the shillings," said Piglet. "I don't think they ought to be there."

"They wanted to come in after the pounds," explained Pooh, "so I let them. It is the best way to write poetry, letting things come."

"Oh, I didn't know," said Piglet.

(From The Tales of Winnie-the-Pooh, "In Which Tigger Comes to the Forest and Has Breakfast")

It can be not only the best way to write poetry, but the best way to get through the day. My prayer for you today, dear readers, is that as you splash around in your baptism you are able to let go of that which needs to be washed away while letting the rest simply come. Please pray for me to do the same.

Lately

The season may not yet have changed on the calendar, but around here it certainly feels like it! We have spent the last week switching out of spring and into summer--and vacation!--mode.

We had our first social gathering last weekend. Having people over was a great motivator for getting the patio looking nice. I also put in a lot of time on the dining room, even down to unpacking the china.

There is still so much to do to make this house feel like a home. I have put hardly anything on the walls. (The piece pictured above carries great sentimental meaning so was one of the first things to go up.) To be honest, I am not sure how far we will get with decorating this house. It is a rental and is also a little smaller than what we hope to buy in the not too distant future. There are boxes (so many boxes) in the garage that will probably stay there, unopened, until they have a more permanent home.

We are loving our new church, more every day, and Oklahoma as well. The pace is relaxed, the people lovely, and the weather so far exquisite. I feel as though, for the first time in quite a long time, I'm not holding my breath. I'm sure finally having everyone together in one place is a huge part of that. I am trying not to think about how much that is going to change in about ten weeks.

Speaking of which, Caitlin's college plans are falling into place. She got her desired dorm assignment and has connected online with her suite mates. We go to orientation in two weeks! Two weeks after that we have a home school graduation! And about a week after that is our mother-daughter trip to New York City!

Phillip is doing much professional traveling this summer, but before he gets really busy we are sneaking off to Wichita in a few weeks to see our favorite concert artist, James Taylor. I've lost track of how many JT concerts we've gone to over the years. I would guess around ten.

Evan is having summer school. (The Philipp Nicolai Lutheran Academy never closes; it just adjusts itself, year round, to the needs of its students and teachers.) In a few weeks he will be attending Lutheran summer camp for the first time. Five nights away from home will be quite a test for the highly sensitive one. But he has come so far this year, and he will be bunking with friends. He has wanted to go to camp ever since he read about the Berenstain Bears doing it.

Trevor is working on his list of potential graduate schools. He is entering his senior year this fall and will enjoy a slightly lighter schedule as reward for the progress he has already made toward his degree. This summer he is doing some organ playing at church, substituting for his dad when he goes out of town.

My mom is doing well.

I have put out feelers for piano students, but have not had any takers. I would like to sign up a few students, as much to provide Evan some piano buddies as to make a few dollars. The next step will be to try to connect with the home school community, something I have not yet done.

It is time for me to get off the computer and go for a walk in this beautiful Oklahoma morning!

Still Here

Almost two weeks without a post! My, how time flies! I think that is the longest I have gone in a while. I wish I could say it's due to my making prodigious progress in some other aspect of life, but alas, that would not be accurate. I haven't started writing a book, nor have I found a job or sewn a new dress (I don't sew) or planted a vegetable garden or planned out all the meals and shopping for the rest of the summer. No, the best I can say is that I've been getting through the days and enjoying them, mostly. That's worth a two-week blogging hiatus, isn't it?

Here are a few of the things I have done over the last two weeks.

Got my son home from college. Yay!

Finished reading The Fault in Our Stars. Yay!

Watched four movies: Dead Poets Society (repeat viewing), Lars and the Real Girl (first time), Mary Poppins (repeat view), and Saving Mr. Banks (first time). Yay!

Watched the Oklahoma City Thunder secure a position in the NBA Western Conference Finals. Yay!

Unpacked the good china and glassware and put it in the china cabinet. Yay!

Started planning in earnest for several significant summer events involving Caitlin: her graduation from our home school in late June and our mother-daughter trip to New York City in early July. Yay!

Enjoyed a lovely Mother's Day with everyone under one roof. Yay!

Scheduled our first social gathering in our new house. Yikes! (This is a yay, too, but I do have some more work to do before we have company this weekend!)

In our house we sometimes speak of the "yay's" and the "waaah's." It's nice to look back over the last two weeks and see how many of the first category there have been. Not that there haven't been minor frustrations and annoyances. But I must say that spring in Oklahoma so far has been stellar, and I am looking forward with anticipation to what I hope will be a long, lazy summer full of many more yay's!

Why I Love Holy Week

There are many reasons, of course. But one big one is the lack of ambiguity. From one day to the next, I don't have to think about what to do because it's already decided. I don't have to wonder what it all means because I already know. The focus is clear, the to-do list pre-determined, and there is nothing left for me but to submit. It's like Sunday, writ large. Liturgy, how I love thee!

"Go to dark Gethsemane,

All who feel the tempter's pow'r;

Your Redeemer's conflict see,

Watch with Him one bitter hour;

Turn not from His griefs away;

Learn from Jesus Christ to pray."

Lutheran Service Book 436, Stanza 1

Le Saintes Femmes au Tombeau

William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905)

Win-Win

For a time when we lived in Illinois we had a subscription to the Chicago Tribune. We got fed up with that paper and discontinued it years ago. When we moved to Oklahoma we inherited the previous occupants' subscription to the Tulsa World. It has been helpful in getting to know our community, and my mom in particular seems to enjoy it. So when the subscription recently ran out, we renewed it. My mom is getting her crossword, Evan enjoys the funnies, and I am cutting coupons again. Plus, having a paper makes this possible:


Willard Gets the Paper from Cheryl on Vimeo.


Also, it's nice to have decent rubber bands again!

Christmas Miracles

I know the "Christmas miracle" is a Hollywood creation, and the true Christmas miracle was a virgin birth over 2000 years ago, but we have experienced several bits of extra good news this month. For those who may not have heard all of them, here goes.

1) We have a house! Feast your eyes. :-)

We have decided to rent for now. The pool of homes for sale that fit our needs, wants, and price range is pretty small right now. We narrowed down to a couple of options, looked at those, and decided we weren't up to the task of making them immediately inhabitable. So we turned to the rental market. That pool is also fairly small. We looked at two houses in Tulsa and two in Broken Arrow. Both houses in Tulsa could have worked for us. One was an older midtown home with a lot of character; the other was a newer home with a lot of square footage. Neither was ideal, though, and both would have meant a 20-25 minute drive to church. That is less than desirable for people whose lives revolve around church. So we turned to the Broken Arrow options. One of them had five bedrooms, which would have been great for bunking purposes when everyone is home, but it was lacking in living space and in need of much cleaning and repair. The property manager did not leave us feeling confident that either would be adequately done. So at 7:00 p.m. this past Friday night we nervously headed to the last house on the list.

Oh, my. It was lovely. A little smaller than we would like, but truly a beautiful home, built in 2000 and in mint condition. The current occupants are moving back to their home state of Texas and we enjoyed chatting with them as we looked at the house. We knew within a few minutes that this was the house for us. Not only is it in excellent condition, with the floor plan we need (a suitable bedroom and bath on the main floor for my mom), but it comes with all appliances in new or newer condition. (All of our appliances are remaining with our house in Illinois.) It even comes with patio furniture, flat screen TV in the master bedroom, and bar stools (I kid you not)! It is almost too good to be true. There is a nice-sized, fenced yard (which we need for the dog) and a pretty neighborhood park within walking distance. Church is 10-12 minutes away. Between the charming young couple (with adorable newborn and cute Yorkshire terrier) from Texas and the fact that the house just came up for rent this week and we were the first people to look at it, we are convinced this was a "God thing." I know--everything is a God thing. But this was really a GOD THING. We snatched up that house on the spot, and because we are renting, not buying, and we don't have to be at the closing on our own house, we will be able to move even sooner than we had originally thought (probably the first week of January). Oklahoma, here we come!

2) Caitlin has been accepted to her first choice of college, Truman State University in Kirksville, MO. They have offered her $10,000 up front with the possibility of more money later when the competitive scholarship review begins. Truman was recently ranked #12 on the Kiplinger list of best values in public colleges in the U.S.  Caitlin is very excited about the prospect of attending there, and they have been extremely attentive to her in the admissions process, calling on the phone (multiple times), sending handwritten notes, and now, processing her application and sending her initial offer with great speed. I think the odds are good we will be moving some boxes to Missouri in August of 2014 (sniff).

3) My mom recently took another fall, but after a four-night hospital stay and thorough once-over she is back home and doing fine. As best we can tell, she had a fainting spell due to a urinary tract infection. She got quite a bump on her head and a nasty tear on her hand, but we are thankful that nothing was broken. Considering what she has gone through the last week, she is in excellent spirits. Anyone reading who knows me well knows that the preceding sentence is something of a miracle. My mom was so sad for such a long time--I am still pinching myself at the change she has undergone since her surgery in September. I am having to relearn the way I interact with her. Protective walls don't come down overnight, but we are working on it and slowly remembering what it's like to be mother and daughter.

I am in Oklahoma right now but heading home tomorrow. Then it will be time to pick up Trevor and get ready for Christmas! Phillip will be home the week between Christmas and New Year's. We hope to move in early January. Maybe in 2014 you will see me writing less about our day-to-day struggles and more about ideas. I do still have them, sometimes.

Blessed Gaudete Sunday!

The Week

Trevor is home! Phillip will be home tomorrow night. Both of them have to leave again Saturday, so with fewer people around to eat leftovers, Thanksgiving dinner will be scaled back this year. I bought a spiral-spliced ham, the smallest I could find, and a French silk pie at the Jewel bakery. I will make our customary deviled eggs along with several other side dishes. That's it. Thanksgiving morning we are going to worship with our Trinity-Tinley Park family and in the evening we are invited to the home of some dear friends. It should be a nice day.

The house sale is proceeding, although we still haven't nailed down a closing date. We do know that it will be in January. We would like something earlier; the buyers would like later. I'm sure we'll find a date we can all live with. God willing, we'll be in Oklahoma by the first of February. Six months apart is six months too long.

Several days ago I received terrible news about one of my oldest friends. As I understand it, on Monday of last week she fell off a six-foot ladder and lacerated her head. She was treated and sent home but within days was back in the ER, where she was ultimately diagnosed with necrotizing fasciitis. In the last four days she has had four surgeries (called "debridements") to remove necrotized (dead) tissue from her head, neck, shoulders, and chest. More debridements may be necessary. Right now her friends and family are praying for her survival, as 25-40% percent of people who contract this rare condition die from it, even with treatment. Those who survive face a long, painful recovery along with skin grafts and plastic surgery in the affected areas. My heart breaks for my friend and her family.

Here is a picture of me and Shelley from high school.

Here's a picture from about three years ago:

And here's an article about necrotizing fasciitis. If you are not familiar with this killer, please read and become informed now. It is rare, but no one is safe from it, and the best chance for surviving and avoiding the extensive surgical removal of diseased flesh or even limbs is to diagnose and treat it early and aggressively. The primary warning sign is pain that seems out of proportion for the injury. After her initial treatment my friend returned to the doctor with pain and swelling and was given pain medication and steroids and sent home. Her condition worsened and by the time she went back to the ER she was in septic shock with respiratory distress. I can't help wondering how much better her condition might be today if she had been properly diagnosed on her first return visit.

Trevor, Caitlin and I are going to see Catching Fire tomorrow. I also want to see The Book Thief. I am curious how that book is going to make the transition to screen, since I have a hard time envisioning Hollywood's managing to preserve Death as the narrator.

Caitlin is working on her college applications. As we did with Trevor, we are starting to get a "feeling" about one of the schools on her list. That school seems to have the same feeling about her, as the correspondence from their admissions office has kicked into high gear. It is so exciting to see my daughter dreaming about the next stage of her life. I am refusing to think about a day in August of 2014 when we will drop her in a dorm room and return to a house that will then be emptier by two. . . .

Then there's Evan. A little while ago he asked, "Mom, can you get me some socks?" I told him, "Evan, I think you can get your own socks." He replied, "OH, YEAH. I keep forgetting I'm ten years old!" And here I thought I was the one who was an expert at selective amnesia.

Anticipation

For years when I heard this song I only thought about catsup. The other day I heard it on the radio for the first time in a long time, and I think I finally truly heard it. Maybe you have to be looking at your 50th birthday (still about nine months away, mind you!) to get it. It seems for so many years I have been waiting--for something to be over, for something else to happen, for an end to one trial or the beginning of something better. I know that in all that waiting for Something Else I have sometimes--often--neglected to embrace the moment. I don't know how to change that behavior. In so many ways I am still waiting. But listening to this song is a needed reminder that "these are the good old days."

  

We can never know about the days to come 

But we think about them anyway 

And I wonder if I'm really with you now 

Or just chasing after some finer day. 

Anticipation, anticipation 

Is making me late

Is keeping me waiting.

And I tell you how easy it is to be with you 

And how right your arms feel around me. 

But I rehearsed those words just late last night 

When I was thinking about how right tonight might be. 

Anticipation, anticipation 

Is making me late 

Is keeping me waiting.

And tomorrow we might not be together 

I'm no prophet, I don't know nature's way 

So I'll try to see into your eyes right now 

And stay right here, 'cause these are the good old days.