Listening to Lessons and Carols

Different town, different house, different sofa, different dog . . .  

Same blessed WORD.

2009

2014

Another Federalist Article, and a Patheos Link

My Christmas listening post is on Patheos today, linked by Dr. Veith.

This year I blogged about Lessons and Carols at The Federalist rather than here.

Christmas Wish

Some children dream of sugar plums. My child dreams a little bigger.

"Mom, I had a wonderful dream last night!"

"Oh, really, Evan? What?"

"I dreamed that Barack Obama was no longer President and that Mitt Romney had taken the throne!"

 Sigh.Two more years, honey. Two more years.

Latest Articles on The Federalist

"Baby, It's Just a Song"

"Twelve of the Best Christmas Songs You May Not Have Heard"

There is one more coming before Christmas, also music-related. Long-time readers will recognize the topic as one I hold dear. Stay tuned!

How to Succeed in Advent Without Really Trying

Yesterday as I was driving through Missouri after dropping my daughter back at college I listened to Christian broadcast radio for a while. (We got rid of satellite radio a few months ago when they cancelled all but one of their classical stations. I am even gladder about that decision now since discovering that their sacred/classical Christmas station has been cut down to a three-day period: December 24-26.)

Anyway, the program I listened to yesterday was a talk show about "faith and family" and featured a host interviewing a female guest about holiday stress. I don't remember the guest's name, but she was talking about how much women tend to burden themselves during the holiday season as they try to do whatever it takes to ensure a picture perfect celebration for their families. She said she was interested in encouraging women to keep things simple, focus on what is most important, and not try to do so much that we lose sight of the "reason for the season." It's a message I can appreciate and find myself taking to heart more and more. Last year as we were in the midst of an interstate move, I "punted" on sending out Christmas cards (gasp!). We are going to send them this year. But I am planning to keep the decorating very minimal. We are currently renting a smaller house than we are accustomed to and it is cluttered enough as it is without trying to squeeze in a lot of Christmas decor and knick-knacks. We usually chop down a real tree, but this year I am going to put up a small, (pre-lit?), artificial tree, open a box of bulbs, and call it a day. We plan to cut back the spending this year as well as we are trying to save a little more money to put toward a down payment on a forever home in the not too distant future.

But back to the radio broadcast. I was tracking with the guest very well until, towards the end of the program, she started trying to sell her line of products designed to help one attain just the right frame of mind and spiritual focus for the Advent/Christmas season. And here I was thinking I could do that by merely going to church. Silly me. :-)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today I am thankful . . .

. . . that my children and I are living in the same town as my husband. (Last year we weren't.)

. . . for my husband.

. . . for our new church.

. . . that my mom is doing fairly well.

. . . for faithful, healthy, and kind children.

. . . that Phillip and I are in good health.

. . . for our dog, Willard.

. . . for employment.

. . . for those who defend us at home and abroad.

. . . for the rule of law.

. . . for the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod.

. . . for Word and Sacrament.

. . . for music.

. . . for language.

. . . for vocation.

. . . for friends.

. . . for the saving work of Christ on the Cross.

Blessed Thanksgiving to you and yours!

Did you go to church today?

If so, did you sing?

If you answered yes, thank you. Because if you answered yes, you blessed your brothers and sisters in Christ, and you blessed me. If, on the other hand, you didn't sing, but only sat while those around you did so, you missed a God-given opportunity to encourage and build up, and be built up by, the Body of Christ.

Faithful church folk often give thought to how they might serve their neighbors in the congregation. Typically, they think of things like providing meals to those in need; getting involved in church governance; volunteering in the church office; serving as ushers, greeters and Altar Guild members; teaching Sunday School or VBS; or setting up for coffee hour. The list could go on. Maybe you do some of these things, or maybe you do something else. But if you aren't singing during church, you are overlooking one of the most basic callings you have as a member of a Christian congregation.

It is also one of the easiest ways you can serve, requiring no extra time on your part. You're in church anyway, right? And you have a functioning larynx? That's all you need. Contrary to what you might think, singing in church doesn't require any special training. God doesn't care whether you have a beautiful singing voice or whether you can read music and sing the right notes and rhythms, and neither do I. All that is required for this most important work is faith, the faith that was given to you in Baptism and the faith that is nourished each week as you hear the Word and receive the Sacraments. It is that faith which sings. It is that faith which cannot help but sing.

Please, dear friends. Sing. I need to hear you. My child needs to hear you. When his mind and his eyes wander, and he starts looking around the sanctuary, he needs to see not only his parents singing, but the people around him singing, with gusto. He needs for the Word of God to dwell in those around him so richly that he hears it coming at him from every corner of the room. I try my best to sing every stanza of every hymn and every line of liturgy, but sometimes I falter. Sometimes my voice cracks, or I run out of breath, or something in the hymn causes my throat to tighten and tears to well up so that I am unable to make it through to the end. That's when I need to hear you--behind me, beside me, in front of me--carrying on. That's when my family needs to hear you. And when you can't keep going, then it will be my turn to carry on for you. Together, only together, are we able to sing through to the very end.

I am a trained musician. But when I am in church what discourages me is not wrong notes or off-key singing. What discourages me is lack of singing. When you don't sing, not only do I miss out on what your voice has to contribute to the song of the assembled saints, but you miss out, too. When you passively sit while others sing, you are not experiencing the words as richly as you otherwise could. That is not to say that the Word is not having its way with you. But you are denying yourself the opportunity to have those words enter and take up residence in your being in yet another, God-given manner. And that is a grievous thing.

As the wife of a church musician, and as a church musician myself, I have heard lots of singing in church. And the truth is that some who might be tagged as the "worst" singers have over the years most beautifully sung faith into my heart. Why? Because they don't hold back. They don't worry about how they sound. They sing, from the depth of their being, because they can do no other. And in doing so, they testify to the faith they have been given and thereby build up those around them.

Along with the prophet Jeremiah, let us not just gaze upon and smell the great banquet of Psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs that our dear Father has provided for our nourishment. Let us swallow them down ravenously and come back for more. Let us serve them up in abundance for those who join us at the table, passing the plate around, one to the next, sending it back to the Chef to get reloaded, and passing it around again. It's a feast meant to be shared, and there's a place for you, no matter how messy an eater (or singer) you may be.

 Your words were found, and I ate them,
    and your words became to me a joy
    and the delight of my heart,
for I am called by your name,
    O Lord, God of hosts. (Jeremiah 15:16)

Here are few more Bible verses that speak of the singing nature of the Christian faith.

New Article on The Federalist

Long-time readers may recall that it's a topic I've written about a few times before.

Why I Hate Halloween

Last Lasts

Yesterday on Facebook I saw this.

It reminded me of a blog post I wrote a few years ago along the same lines. As parents we experience countless "lasts" with our children. Sometimes we know going in that it's the last time; sometimes we don't. Sometimes the "last" is a momentous event (graduation, confirmation); other times it's trivial (tying shoes or applying a bandage). Sometimes, while it's the last time for one child, we know there are others waiting in the wings to do the same thing. But if we're on our last child, there are all sorts of lasts that are specific not only to him but that are the last time we'll do that thing with any of our children, ever.

Yesterday something that came up in a conversation with Evan, my 10-year-old, prompted me to start reciting from the book One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish by Dr. Seuss. How many times I have read that book over the years, starting with Trevor (now 22), then with Caitlin (now 19), and finally with Evan. It has to have been hundreds! No wonder I can still recite large portions of it from memory. Sometimes when I do I can hear in my head the exact way it sounded on my children's lips. So it was a sweet and serendipitous surprise last night when Evan asked not only if we could read the book at bedtime, but if he could read it to me. (I am really glad my 10-year-old still likes Dr. Seuss.) We sat together, and he read, and we laughed, and I remembered. . . . and wondered whether this was another last last.

I didn't need insomnia to write this one.

My second article for The Federalist:

"To Mama, From Little Thing"

Since I Last Stopped By

Oh, my poor, neglected blog. I bet you thought that I had left you for someone else. But I would never do that. I have just been busy.

These days in addition to all the usual mom/daughter/wife stuff, I am tutoring at Sylvan Learning Center about three half days per week, accompanying two church choirs, and spending one day per week accompanying for a local middle school. My insomnia, which seemed to have gone into remission for a while, is back. Why is it that rest is hardest to come by when you most need it? I am reminded of this cartoon I have seen a few times on Facebook (please note that "laying" in the last frame should be "lying." But I digress.):

Um, yeah. The other day Evan (my ten-year-old) told me, "Don't worry about school today, Mom. You need your rest." Since I do need my rest, I almost took him up on it, but my Responsible Self won out. Nice try, honey.

Our homeschooling year is progressing pretty well so far. We are loving the handwriting curriculum. We have not worked in a swimming class yet. I need to get that done.

My big kids are thriving and blossoming and doing amazing things away at college, and I am thrilled for and proud of them beyond words. This is what parenting is all about--seeing them soar. If anyone ever asks me what good I ever contributed to the world I need only point at my children. They are, all three of them, better people than I, and that makes me happier than I can say.

My mom has been diagnosed with a squamous-cell carcinoma on her foot, also known as Bowen's Disease. A new journey begins.

It was a beautiful summer in Oklahoma, and is shaping up to be a beautiful fall. We are thankful.

I started reading The Hammer of God.

Peri-menopause is rough.

Forgiveness is hard.

Life is good.

 

Delicious Irony

It just dawned on me that the piece I wrote for The Federalist has a rather wonderful ironic twist to it. In my article I took issue with the position held by Ezekiel Emanuel  that it is best for a person to die before he starts to experience a steep decline in health, mental acuity, and usefulness. As part of his argument, Emanuel cites research suggesting that most people peak in their forties:

. . . by 75, creativity, originality, and productivity are pretty much gone for the vast, vast majority of us. . . . Dean Keith Simonton, at the University of California at Davis, a luminary among researchers on age and creativity, synthesized numerous studies to demonstrate a typical age-creativity curve: creativity rises rapidly as a career commences, peaks about 20 years into the career, at about age 40 or 45, and then enters a slow, age-related decline. There are some, but not huge, variations among disciplines. Currently, the average age at which Nobel Prize–winning physicists make their discovery—not get the prize—is 48. . . . Simonton’s own study of classical composers shows that the typical composer writes his first major work at age 26, peaks at about age 40 with both his best work and maximum output, and then declines, writing his last significant musical composition at 52. 

For the record, the year your humble blogger turned 50 is the same year she sold her first article to a national magazine. Take that, Emanuel.

De quoi écrire

Hermann Fenner-Behmer (1866-1913)

Can Anything Good Come of Insomnia?

Apparently so. Two nights ago I was having one of those nights when my brain just refuses to turn off. I have learned that if I can't get to sleep in half an hour it's not going to happen for a while and I might as well get up. This time instead of turning on Nick at Nite and watching Friends (my go-to non-medicinal remedy)  I decided to write. The next morning I sent what I had written to one of my favorite online magazines. Imagine my surprise when several hours later I got an acceptance letter. Woot. My article went up on the site today (talk about fast turnaround!), so here it is in case you missed it and would like to read it.

Why I Want to Live Long and Burden My Children

Teaching History to the HSC

When you're rearing an HSC (highly sensitive child), it can sometimes be hard to judge the extent to which you should shield him from things you know will upset him. On the one hand, you want to protect him from undue stress. If he doesn't like Halloween decorations, what is there to be gained by making him go places where he's going to encounter them? At the same time, you don't want to coddle him. The older he gets, the more he's going to find himself in situations where he has to handle things on his own, without Mom or Dad going ahead to make sure it's safe. So as a parent, you look for opportunities to "gently" toughen him up (assuming that's not a total oxymoron).

Yesterday in Evan's history book* we read about the Lewis and Clark expedition. The author recounted how, when the explorers ran out of food, they were forced to kill one of the horses for meat. As I heard the words coming out of my mouth, I looked at Evan. So far, so good. He was frowning, but handling it. But then we read the next paragraph:

"The horsemeat kept them from starving. But if they killed too many horses, they wouldn't be able to move fast enough to survive. So they ate some of the hunting dogs as well. . . . "

Uh-oh. There was more about how Clark disliked the dog meat while Lewis liked it, but we didn't get that far. Instead we stopped reading and I explained to my crying son that as terrible as it sounds to us as dog lovers, the humans had to come first. Not only is a human's life more valuable than an animal's, but if the humans had died of starvation, the rest of the animals would have perished as well because there would have been no one to take care of them. Evan absorbed all of this while lying on the floor trying to comfort our own dog, who he was certain was traumatized by the history lesson.

Eventually, with the passage in question behind us and the tears stemmed, we read on. But moments later, I saw this one coming: "In all that time, only one of the party had died--from appendicitis."

Sigh. Evan has long had a fear of getting appendicitis. Did his mom do an on-the-fly edit? What do you think?

*The Story of the World, Vol. 3, Susan Wise Bauer

You're invited . . .

. . . to read the first chapter of my daughter's novel. It is linked here. I know I'm her mom, but I am beyond impressed and totally sucked in to this story. I don't know when she will make more of it available, but if you are so inclined, please go on over and read and encourage her to see this tale through. She welcomes your comments and constructive criticism.

The Importance of Audience

Example 1 

"I don't want to learn another language. Why do I have to study Latin? No one speaks Latin."

Example 2

"Caitlin, guess what? Mom's teaching me Latin!"

A Promise is a Promise

My son had his first Confirmation class this week. It was an orientation meeting during which parents and students were provided with an overview of the schedule and expectations for the year. Everyone was asked to sign a covenant committing to carry out those expectations as faithfully as possible. After students and parents signed on their lines, the covenants were collected, at which point Evan asked the meeting leader when he could expect to get his covenant back. You see, there were lines on the covenant not only for student and parent, but also for teacher, DCE (Director of Christian Education), and pastor. Evan wanted to make sure each of those individuals would be providing his or her signature, and he wanted his covenant back so he could see the signatures. He also wanted his covenant back so he would be able to remember what he had agreed to by signing his own name.

I don't think the normal procedure is to return the signed covenants to the students, but Evan was told he would be provided a copy. In a world in which we routinely sign on the dotted line without having read every last word of what we're signing, I appreciate how seriously my son is taking this class and his commitment to it. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone did the same?

I thought we weren't in Chicago anymore, Toto.

Yesterday I had one of those days, stacked from beginning to end. I used to have them with regularity when we lived in Illinois. In Oklahoma, life has been much less intense. That has been a welcome change, but there is also something satisfying about having a day where you don't have to think about what to do because it is all laid out for you. Here is my timeline for yesterday.

6:00 Woke up, had coffee, did two hours of Sylvan online training
8:00 Woke up Evan, showered, filled out forms for new dentist
9:30-11:00 Dentist appointment for me and Evan (no cavities!)
11:00 - 12:00 Grocery shopping
12:00-1:00 - Dealt with refrigerator repair man
1:00-3:00 - The lull in the storm. Lunch, coffee/Facebook/email break, a little school with Evan, made chili so it would be ready for drive-by supper later.
3:00-5:30 - Onsite training at Sylvan Learning Center. I did my first actual teaching! Phillip came home to have supper with Evan and take him to Confirmation at 6:00.
5:30-6:30 - Raced home, had supper, cleaned up dishes, went to church for Catechism/Communion service.
6:30-8:30 - At church. Yay!
8:30-10:00 - Came home, watched some Spongebob with Evan, got ready for bed.
10:00-10:30 - Read and unwind.
10:30 - Lights out (at which point, naturally, I was unable to get to sleep).

Looking over this list now, it doesn't seem quite as overwhelming as it seemed yesterday. I think the level of Crazy I am able to tolerate is declining as my years increase. Or maybe I'm just out of practice. But you see how much homeschooling got done yesterday. You can imagine how much housecleaning got done. Luckily, not every day will be like this. I have been wanting to do something about my Facebook addiction. I think Everyday Life is going to take care of that for me!

Schedule Planning

For those who are interested, I thought I would post Evan's and my schedule. It is still a work in progress and may get tweaked. But I thought my homeschooling friends, especially, might find it interesting to compare notes.

6:00 Mom wakes up. Have coffee/chat time with hubby, exercise, check email/Facebook/blogs, shower, do morning chores, have breakfast.

8:00 Wake up Evan if he is not already up. From 8-9 he needs to do his morning routine (breakfast, grooming, chores), after which he can have free time until 9:00.

9:00-11:00 Devotion followed by first school block. No screens for either of us. School work that needs more mom involvement will be the priority during this time. At least half of school checklist needs to be completed during the morning block.

11:00-12:00 Free time if morning school done.

12:00-1:00 Lunch

1:00-1:30 Silent reading, for both of us. I think in school they call it DEAR. ("Drop Everything And Read.")

1:30-3:00 Second school block. Finish assignments for the day. Practice piano. No screens (exception for me if I am writing, but no Facebook).

3:00 Free time if all schoolwork done.

This will be our general outline, but there are daily deviations, as follows.

Monday

Teaching at Sylvan Learning Center 3:30-6:30. Dad is home on Mondays so he will help out with homeschooling and cooking supper. :-D

Tuesday

Tulsa Children’s Choir for Evan, 4:30-6:00. From there Evan and I will go directly to church for adult choir. Fast food or sack supper night!

Wednesday

Weekly (or semi-weekly) play date with homeschooling friends, 9:30-11:30. (Whoops, there goes that morning school block!)

Teaching at Sylvan for me, 3:30-6:30. I will need to have something prepared for supper as Phillip will come home to eat with Evan and take him to Confirmation. I will meet them at church for Catechetical/Communion service. Another sack supper night for me.

Thursday

This is a lighter day! Right now there is only one scheduled activity: Schola Cantorum (children's choir) at 4:00-5:00. We hope to add swimming in the morning. Phillip has church responsibilities so I think Thursdays will be "Mom & Evan Pizza, Popcorn, and Movie Night." :-D I think Thursday will also be grocery shopping day. Um, maybe it's not such a light day after all. . . . 

Friday

Most Fridays I will be playing piano at a nearby school 9-10 and 1-3. Phillip is home in the morning to help with homeschooling. In the afternoon Evan will need to work independently, with me checking his work when I get home. He won't be completely on his own, though, as Grandma and Willard (the dog) will be here to help. :-)

Saturday

Teach at Sylvan Learning Center 9:00-12:00. Dad will be home most Saturday mornings.

Saturday afternoon: Laundry & housecleaning.

Sunday

Church and rest, of course! Not to mention caipirinhas mixed by my favorite bartender. Yay for Sundays!

What this helps me to see is that we will not be having supper together as a family Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday. I guess four family suppers out of seven is not bad. The nice thing about homeschooling is that we get more breakfasts and lunches together than families in traditional schools. Truth be told, I don't love cooking supper. I think I'm going to like this schedule. :-D 

(P.S. Ironically, even though I'm going to be cooking fewer suppers, without the freedom and time to make many quick trips to the market every week, I'm also going to have to get better at planning the meals we do have together. Hmmm, I think that's another blog post. . . . )

And so it begins.

Homeschooling.
Choir practices.
Two new jobs.
It all starts back up this week!

In light of the above, I have been doing a lot of planning and prepping, trying to figure out how it's all going to fit together. Last fall was strange. I wasn't working. I didn't have choirs to play for. My husband was in one state, I in another as we waited for our house to sell. So the mindset of "not enough time" that has been such a defining part of my existence for the last 15 years had a chance to recede. It has been a blessedly relaxing year, but I think I am ready to have more to do. Not as much as I used to, ;-) but more. As the schedule slowly fills up I find myself feeling more motivated than I have felt in a long time. That is probably also a function of fewer bad things happening. But busy-ness is good. It makes one feel useful. God knew what He was doing when He put Adam in the Garden to "work it and keep it." Even in his pre-fallen state, Adam needed things to do. He had a sense of vocation. Of course, during the time that I wasn't working a paying job, with two children and a husband at home, I still had vocational purpose. But now there is only one child at home, and he is becoming more self-sufficient, and as he becomes even moreso I am going to have more time to serve my neighbor. I am thankful this fall that God has seen fit to give me a few more ways to do that that will also put a few more dollars in the bank. :-)

So. How can I return to a fuller schedule without its overwhelming and getting the best of me? I think I need to reclaim a few old practices that I have drifted away from in the last five or so years. The first of those is waking up early. I used to be a dyed-in-the-wool morning person. When my children were small, I made a point of waking up hours before they did just so I could enjoy those precious, quiet morning moments. I have gotten away from that, in part because I haven't needed to wake up so early but also because of plain old apathy and lack of motivation. Instead of waking up between 5 and 6 a.m., I more often wake up between 7 and 8. That is late for me. Time to start setting the alarm clock again!

Second, I need to set limits to my online time. It is so easy to wake up, pour the coffee, go into computer land, and not come out until hours later. The result is that mornings, which have always been my most productive time of day, get frittered away. To avoid that happening, I need to set start and stop times for my online activity. And once those times are set, I need to abide by them.

Third, not only do I need to assign times for waking up and going to bed and using the computer, but I need to do so for other things as well. That becomes more needful and, ironically, easier when your time is no longer your own. As I look at my weekly schedule taking shape, with choir rehearsals, Evan's activities, and paid work claiming large chunks, it is going to be important to schedule the other things I want to do. Blogging, exercise, piano practicing, reading, housecleaning, cooking, shopping, laundry . . . . They aren't going to happen organically. They need designated times, too.

If you have any tricks or suggestions that you have found helpful for staying on top of the to-do list, I would love to hear them!