A Round Unvarnish'd Tale

Ring Tales

2012-01-24T11:22:00.005-06:00

No, this is not a post about The Hobbit.

I recently read this blog post by a friend whose ring fell down her drain and was damaged in the disposal. I feel so terrible for her!

It reminded me of a story with a happier ending, although the happy ending was long in coming. Here's a news item about a Swedish woman who lost her wedding ring 16 years ago but recently found the ring encircling a carrot that she picked from her garden!

Here's my ring story. About five years ago I quit wearing my wedding set because I was told the prongs were so worn that I was in danger of losing a diamond. My set has seven diamonds totaling half a carat. The estimate on retipping all those diamonds was frightening--to do so would have cost way more than my husband originally paid for the ring. So I retired my wedding set and started wearing a plain gold band that my mother-in-law had given me. My husband and I decided that some day we would get a new setting for my wedding ring but that it would have to wait a while.

This past fall while raking and bagging leaves I suddenly realized that the gold band I had been wearing on my ring finger was no longer on my finger. Cold weather = skinnier fingers = slippery rings. I assume the band fell off my finger into a pile or bag of leaves. There was no finding it.

My husband and I had already been talking about an anniversary ring--we celebrate 25 years in March! So guess what that dear man did? In December he took me shopping for an early anniversary gift. It is similar to my wedding ring but a little bigger (1 carat instead of 1/2 carat). It is a traditional 3-stone ring with one central diamond, two slightly smaller ones on each side, and eight diamond chips set into the band, four on each side.

Yes, I'm a happy girl! I still have my original wedding set, and I hope some day one or more of the diamonds will find another home--maybe in a new setting for my daughter or a future daughter-in-law. For now it is safe in my jewelry box and the ring above is on my finger! I have decided, after reading my friend Glenda's post, that I may need to have it sized down because it's a little loose (but I am waiting to see how it fits in the summer). I have also developed the habit of taking it off at night (8 hours per night of rubbing on the sheets is VERY hard on the prongs and causes them to wear much more quickly than they otherwise would) and of not wearing it when I am going to do manual labor (although I do wash dishes with it on). The trick is putting it in a safe place when taking it off. The kitchen counter does not qualify as safe! My safe spot is in or on top of my jewelry box.

I am enjoying my beautiful new ring and unlike Bilbo Baggins am very glad it doesn't make me invisible, since I love looking at it on my hand!

Who Needs Textbooks?

2012-01-24T08:07:00.004-06:00

Yesterday at lunch Evan suddenly piped up:

"Mommy, Kitty Galore is the anty-gonist in Cats and Dogs 2."

We scratched our heads a little at that one--"Anty-Gonist? What's an anty-gonist?"--and then realized he was trying to say "antagonist." But even then we continued to scratch our heads. Where'd my 8-year-old learn about antagonists?

"Evan, you are right. Kitty Galore is definitely the antagonist. But where did you learn about antagonists?"

"From reading about the Zelda characters."

Oh. From there we had an approximately 15-minute discussion about the protagonists and antagonists in various stories Evan knows. My trusty literary sidekick (a.k.a. my daughter Caitlin) assisted greatly in defining and applying terms, and Evan learned something that I don't think most children learn formally until middle school.

Who knew those Zelda strategy guides would be so educational?

P.S. I am not knocking textbooks. We use some textbooks, and they can be a great tool. But I love it when learning happens in this way, naturally, as an outgrowth of the child's life and interests. It is one of the very best things about homeschooling.

Question

2012-01-23T08:18:00.003-06:00

A few days ago I saw this on Facebook and it made me laugh, so I reposted it.

I have seen a few other people posting and/or "liking" it, but I have also found myself wondering if it is insensitive, making fun of something that ought not be made fun of. I was once pilloried for using the word "retarded." I was not trying to insult; I actually used the word to mean "delayed" in reference to my own understanding of a concept. But I have learned my lesson and I now try to avoid that word at all costs because I am afraid I will use it incorrectly and again offend someone.

I see the "attention deficit" label thrown around a lot these days. Usually people are referring to their own difficulty focusing on tasks and seeing things through. Some of my friends jokingly talk about their "mommy-induced ADD" and once I even wrote a blog post about the phenomenon. My husband has a friend who self-deprecatingly calls himself "ADD boy" because of his difficulty sticking with the task at hand.

But Attention Deficit Disorder is a real, clinical problem with which real people contend, is it not? If that is the case, why is it okay for people to joke about it? Or is it not? Should we avoid making light of ADD (or Asperger Syndrome or depression or menopause or any number of challenges that have a physical basis) in the same way that we avoid using the word "retarded" for fear of hurting those who are, in a very real way, living with that very condition? And if we don't need to do so, why don't we? What's the difference?

The Lost Art (For Me) of Reading

2012-01-15T15:42:00.004-06:00

I used to read. I suppose I still do. But for years now my reading has been geared primarily towards the utilitarian and practical: I read for the purpose of receiving and transmitting information, not to muse, ponder, and consider. When I was a little girl I could spend the entire day reading; now I find it hard to sit still with a book for 15 minutes. What gives? One of my courses of study in college was literature. I loved it so much that I put up with several years of postmodern, deconstructionist gobbledygook in order to earn my Master's. I spent about 15 years teaching English at the high school and college level. And now it takes me a year to get through one book. What happened to my reading self?

The answer is complicated. Life happened. Adulthood, responsibility, motherhood, middle age--they have all taken their toll, as has the information age. I do think there is something to the theory that electronic communication has made human beings less able to concentrate for any length of time. We are truly addicted to our machines and the constant barrage of little informational spit wads they shoot our way, and we are so consumed with cleaning up those spit wads off the floor that we can't stop long enough to pick up something more weighty.

I say "we." But I know not everyone has this problem. I have friends that actually still do read, and I envy them. I want to be like them. I want to read again and I am trying to figure out how to make it happen.

Perhaps this is a rationalization, but I think my reading difficulty arises in part from my current season of life. It is known sociologically as the "sandwich" phase. I do think that all other things being equal, middle age is probably the most difficult and challenging period of life. It is the time during which human beings have the greatest number of demands being made on them and the greatest number of people depending on them, all while they are dealing with the shocking realization that all that stuff they always heard about the decay of the body really is true.

So not only do I find reading mentally difficult, but I also find it very hard these days to justify sitting down and reading a book for an hour. There are so many other more productive things I could be accomplishing! And yet I easily justify taking a five minute break to check my email or look at Facebook or read a blog post. Because it's just five minutes, you see. But I'm fooling myself, because those five minutes so easily turn in to ten or fifteen or thirty, and certainly when you string all those five-minute diversions together they easily add up to an hour or more per day.

I think I also sometimes revert to electronic reading because I am so used to being interrupted that I am afraid to commit myself to something that is going to require more than five minutes for it to be meaningful. I can spend five minutes in my email or on Facebook or even a blog and come away feeling like I really did read something (however worthless), whereas to really get something out of a book I need a half hour or more of quiet with it. So rather than be thwarted, I choose not to try.

But here at the age of 47 I am starting to ask myself, with regard to many things from exercise to reading to fun, "If not now, when?" My weak physical condition has convicted me of the need to recommit to an exercise program (with my husband's help I am working on that), and now I am ready to acknowledge that my weakened brain is in dire need of some conditioning. And what better way to exercise it than to reintroduce the best and most enjoyable form of mental calisthenics I know: reading. The trick is making it happen. I have decided that like most things to which I want to give priority in my life, I need to schedule a time for it, preferably in the morning (I wish I could live my whole life in the morning). My plan is to set aside a half hour that will be only for unplugged reading of in-depth material. Food packaging, medication bottles, and mail don't count, nor do magazine surfing or reading aloud to Evan. I'm talking big, thick, book reading--you know, those things with, what are they called? Oh yeah . . . chapters.

This post has gone on too long already, so I will report back later with a little more about my efforts (they have already started) and how they are going. I am interested, though, to hear from anyone who has had a similar experience to mine. If you are someone who used to read but who now doesn't, on what do you blame the change? And if you have managed to rediscover your love for reading, how did you do it?

Letting Go

2012-01-11T08:54:00.006-06:00

Our family has experienced some pretty big losses in the last three years. It actually seems like it's been longer than that, but it hasn't been quite three years since the dominoes started to fall: first my father-in-law, then my mother-in-law, then a dear family friend/former pastor, then another friend who was also preschool teacher to two of my children. But the losses have been not only the kind that occur when beloved people die; we have also repeatedly experienced the loss of broken relationships. My mother-in-law, whose mental illness we didn't fully understand until after she was gone, left a particularly painful legacy for two of her children (my husband and his sister) in her decision to disinherit them. They were both dutiful children and there was no basis for her action. It doesn't make the rejection any less painful to acknowledge that she was not in her right mind. My husband and I have also both experienced the end of several close friendships this year. And I am realizing that in many ways I have effectively lost my mother and I have been grieving that for a while. Although she is still alive, she has become a person that relates to me no longer as my mother but instead as a child, someone that I must take care of. No, I take that back. My children look at me through eyes of love. My mother doesn't anymore. At this point I am her caretaker and nurse and not much else.

Particularly when one is dealing with personal rejection or emotional hurt, the advice that is often given is to "let it go." It's good advice. It does no good to dwell on the things that cause one pain or to continue returning to the occasion of hurt. But I have found that it is advice that I am unable to follow. I cannot by force of will let pain and grief go. Yes, sometimes I forget for a little while. But invariably I stumble upon a reminder of the past and the reality of pain and loss returns.

And yet . . . .

While I have realized that I am incapable of letting go of deep hurts, it turns out that somehow, in time, they start to let go of me. Little by little they loosen their hold, and like Jack Dawson to Rose in The Titanic, they bid me go, swim toward the light, and keep on living. And if the ocean in which I am swimming is dotted with life raft after life raft of Word and Sacrament such that I see forgiveness and reconciliation everywhere I turn, then I know without a doubt that I am going to succeed in reaching that light. In fact, it turns out that light has already sought out and found me, and rescue is at hand.

'Bye, Jack. Rest in peace.

Conservatives, Myself Included, Need to Get a Clue

2012-01-04T13:16:00.002-06:00

For months now in the Republican presidential race we have watched an "anti-Romney" break away from the pack only to get shot down. The firing squad is a marriage of convenience between the liberal media and the Republican establishment. Interestingly enough, they both want the same thing: a moderate as the GOP nominee. As best I can tell, the liberal media want a moderate because they think that's whom Obama can more easily beat, whereas the Republican establishment wants a moderate because they are moderate themselves and they want to remain in power. Meanwhile, together they are playing conservatives like a fiddle, and conservatives are letting themselves get played. To have any hope of mounting a conservative alternative to Romney, we have got to stop it. We have got to quit nit-picking the conservative candidates to death ourselves and start defending them against all the attacks. There is NO PERFECT CANDIDATE. There is no candidate that is free of "baggage." There is no candidate that is going to agree with us 100% all the way up and down the list of issues. Even if we find such a candidate, we may discover that he or she has different ideas from our own on how to achieve the desired end. We need to get comfortable with some imperfections and impurities and start celebrating the strengths of each of these excellent candidates instead of joining in the flash mob of detractors that only want to tear them down so as to ensure Romney's nomination.

If Romney does get the nomination, I will support him. He is capable. He is not a socialist. He will not go around the world apologizing for the United States. But notwithstanding the common wisdom, I do not think he is the most electable. I think he has simply not been vetted. If he does get the nomination, the Obama forces will get busy attacking him with class and racial warfare like you haven't seen in a long time. And they will no longer keep silent about his Mormonism.

I am saying this to myself as much as to anyone. Rick Perry was portrayed as dumb, Bachmann as a gaffe machine, Newt Gingrich as unstable, and now Santorum is about to be painted as a bigot and a "big government conservative." Let's quit falling for whatever caricatures the talking heads decide to put out there, and let's come together for a change and work to build up and support and champion our conservative presidential contenders. Any one of them is far preferable to the current President. Let's quit falling for whatever narrative the powers that be want to feed us and start writing our own narrative, one in which a conservative wins the Republican nomination and proceeds to clean Obama's clock.

Video Round-Up

2012-01-01T16:25:00.004-06:00

I have previously posted these on Facebook, but not all of you are my Facebook friends. And some of you truly odd ducks aren't even on Facebook at all. ;-) So here is a smattering of recent video highlights. Clicking on any one of these will take you to my Vimeo page where you can see over 80 more (some more worth your time than others, to be sure).

First, the singing of the Psalm from our New Year's Eve service last night. My husband is the pianist and songleader. I love this responsive type of Psalm singing and we do a lot of it at my church. Sometimes we chant the Psalm to tones from our hymnal; sometimes we do a combination of chant and sung refrain; sometimes we sing something through-composed (such as you see below). I found a comment about this video from a Facebook friend to be very interesting. He said, "I don't think I've ever heard Cantor sing!" I was amazed by that because it seems to me my husband is always singing. But then I realized that as much as I love it when he leads responsive singing from the piano, it is not something he does much. Most of his work in worship is not singing himself but enabling others to sing. Notice that when it is the congregation's turn to sing, he stops (except for the final refrain). That is what cantors (or kantors) do: help the assembly to find their voice and sing the Lord's song. Very different from so much of contemporary worship today, in which songleaders sing AT and FOR people, resulting in the people not singing, but listening.

One note on this video: I was positioned such that the sound quality is not reflective of the actual event. My recording is heavy on the piano, but the mix in the service was much more balanced.

;

"All the Ends of the Earth" (Psalm 98) from Cheryl on Vimeo.

The second video is from our Christmas Eve Lessons and Carols. A very special musical moment with some of our most talented musicians. The woman at far left has sung professionally for a number of years. The second female singer has a doctoral degree in voice, teaches at the college level, and sings lyric opera. The third singer, still in high school, is one of her students. And the fourth . . . well, there's that Cantor again, a piano major holding his own very well amidst some truly amazing pipes!

"In Dulci Jubilo" from Cheryl on Vimeo.

Finally, another video from Christmas Eve, this one from our family service. Our children's choir for Christmas Eve was small in number but big in sound. Evan, my youngest, is at the far right end of the front row, often not visible behind his dad. This is a difficult piece for young singers due to the unusual intervals they are required to learn as well as the almost-but-not-quite-the-same repetitions of several musical motifs. I'm playing the piano. It is a beautiful, pianistic accompaniment that is a pleasure to play. My only problem with this piece is that I rarely get through it without crying, which can cause problems when one is trying to read the music on the printed page.

"On Christmas Morn" - David Brunner from Cheryl on Vimeo.

I hope you enjoy the music. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T19:07:00.005-06:00

It has been a lovely Christmas Eve and Day! Yesterday morning started with King's College Lessons and Carols (see previous post). Then my husband and I went to our community rec center to work out and stopped for coffee on the way home. Mid-afternoon he left for a marathon of leading music for Christmas services at church. This year he had to not only direct choirs and musicians but play organ for all the services as all of our backup organists are otherwise occupied (either out of town or late with child). There were three services Christmas Eve and one Christmas morning. Evan sang with the children's choir at the 5:00 service yesterday so of course we all went to that one. Although the kids and I didn't have musical duties at the 7:15 Lessons and Carols service we stayed for it (it is not to be missed), eating leftovers from home in the staff workroom between services. Then we took Evan home and tucked him in, leaving him with his grandma while Trevor, Caitlin and I returned for the 11:00 candlelight communion at which the adult choir was singing. I think we all got to sleep by about 1:30 a.m. (after Santa made his appearance).

This morning was Divine Service at 9:00. Unfortunately just as the choir was about to launch into "O Magnum Mysterium" for the voluntary Caitlin went running from the sanctuary sick. Yes, I do mean sick. I took her home and luckily we have not had a repeat incident or any fever, so I don't think it's a stomach virus. She has rested most of the day but did feel well enough to open presents. :-D

Here are a few pictures from the present opening:

What could it be?

Some new pieces for our china pattern! I received a vegetable bowl, small platter, 3-tiered server, coffee server, and several small bowls. Wow! A few more pieces and after 25 years or marriage my china set may finally be complete! :-D

A new mp3 player!

A cookbook from one of my husband's favorite restaurants.

From some dear friends: Caitlin got a Lutheran Chick water bottle and I got a travel coffee mug. The same friends also thrilled us with Worldview Everlasting t-shirts for everyone in the family!

Spongebob wear from Evan's aunt. Have I ever told you how much we love Spongebob?

Shiloh got her own edible card.

You can't go wrong with Dr. Seuss! Evan added several to his collection.

Brothers

Pooped.

After present opening I put our Christmas ham in the oven and enjoyed a little computer time while getting some therapy from my new Shiatsu massager, pictured above. Supper was ham, collard greens and crab-stuffed deviled eggs. Plan for the rest of the evening is to watch the Simpsons Christmas and an episode or two of Trevor's new Third Rock from the Sun DVD set (given by yours truly). On the other hand, maybe I'll just go to bed (I passed on a nap today). Such wonderful, glorious freedom to choose--doesn't get much better than this. Merry Christmas, everyone!

Christmas Listening

2011-12-23T06:36:00.006-06:00

While the secular culture's celebration of Christmas is coming to an end (it will be over on December 26), that of liturgical Christians has not yet begun. For us Christmas starts on December 24 and continues until Epiphany. For years now our family has kicked off our own Christmas celebration on Christmas Eve morning by listening to the live broadcast of the King's College Chapel Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols. The service begins at 3:00 p.m. Cambridge time, which means 9:00 a.m. central standard time. So every Christmas Eve morning we make sure everyone is awake, coffee is poured and breakfast set out, and we gather in our pajamas around the radio (or these days, the computer), and listen. It has become our tradition, and I can think of no better way for us to begin our meditation on the miracle of Christ's birth than by gathering together in quietness, listening to His Word, and being blessed by some of the most beautiful music one could ever imagine. Once the King's College Lessons and Carols service is over, the day becomes hectic, with last minute Christmas preparations and many services to attend (if you are a regular reader you know that my husband is a Lutheran cantor and the rest of us are part of his musical army). But from 9:00-10:30 a.m. on Christmas Eve, our family sits together and soaks it in in a way we won't get to at our own church (because we are rarely all sitting together at one time). It helps us keep Christmas in perspective.

If you have never listened to the King's College Lessons and Carols service, I invite you to do so with us this year. Here are some links to help you out:

BBC Lessons and Carols page

American Public Media Lessons and Carols page

Here's an article written by Michael Barone that describes his experience of attending the actual event last year. It's like a rock concert. People start lining up on the afternoon of December 23 in hopes of making it through the front door of the chapel.

And finally, here's an article by Jonathan Willcocks, son of Sir David Willcocks, long-time former musical director at King's College, about his memories of singing in the choir when he was a child (the choir is composed only of men and boy sopranos). I love his reminiscences of getting in trouble for having wax ball fights (even King's College boys will be boys!) and of how the soloist for the opening of the service was chosen:

Even the boy who was chosen (usually at the very last moment) to sing the solo first verse of the carol “Once in Royal David’s city” would not be especially anxious; it would just be another solo alongside many that he would have sung in the regular services in the chapel.

The parents of that boy soloist who would be the ones suffering the agonies of anxiety. I was in the somewhat unusual situation of having my father, Sir David Willcocks, as Musical Director of the choir. Again, it didn’t at the time seem awkward to me. Perhaps fortunately I was one of the “also-rans” rather than a star solo voice and so the dilemma of whether to choose me to sing the solo at the Christmas Eve service never arose.

After you listen to the Lessons and Carols broadcast tomorrow, you will be ready for more Christmas music, right? And while most broadcast stations will be winding down, discontinuing their Christmas music offering on the morning of December 26, there is a radio station that knows that Christmas is only just beginning! Watch below for more information.

I would like to wish all of you a most blessed and peaceful Christmas celebration. Thank you for reading. May God be with you today and always, in your trials and in your joys, assuring you of His forgiveness and all-consuming love.

Pain

2011-12-15T22:21:00.007-06:00

I have been blessed to have been quite healthy during my life. Oh, I have had my share of issues. Severe seasonal and environmental allergies. Recurrent iritis. A lifetime of fighting cystic acne. Jaw and TMJ problems. Some swallowing and GI issues. Bad feet. But modern medicine has provided tools for dealing with all of these maladies, and for that I am extremely thankful. I know that compared to the health challenges faced by many, my problems are mere annoyances. Yes, there have been times when they have challenged my quality of life. But none of them are life threatening or truly debilitating.

This past week a new annoyance came knocking on my door: back pain. There have been times in my life I have had a little bit of back pain, particularly after a marathon session of practicing piano. I was diagnosed with mild scoliosis many years ago, and I'm sure that that combined with my flat feet doesn't help things. But last week was the first time the back pain came and stayed for so long. And not only did my back hurt, but so did my neck, shoulder, arm, hand, hip, and knee, all on the left side of my body. I kept waking up every day expecting things to get better as they always have in the past but each day brought not relief but more of the same. It wasn't awful pain, but it was nagging and constant and hard to ignore. And after a week I was very, very tired of it.

So, what to do? Several friends whose opinions I respect suggested a chiropractor. So did my husband. But having never been to a chiropractor before and having been advised that chiropractic approaches vary greatly and therefore it is important to research and ask a lot of questions before choosing a doctor, I found myself defaulting to the family doctor, at least as a starting place. I called and to my surprise discovered that the family practice we have long patronized has recently added a new M.D. who is also a D.O. (doctor of osteopathy). To my further surprise and good fortune I was told that the D.O. happened to have an appointment that day due to a cancellation. I saw her and for the first time in my life was told that not only do I have scoliosis, but my left leg is shorter than my right. So maybe that's why the whole left side of my body has been hurting . . . .

My new doctor prescribed a course of Prednisone along with Relafen for pain and scheduled me to go back next week for a "manipulation" (in chiropractic parlance, an adjustment). She said that I would need that time to get to the point that I would be able to stand having her work on my back. When she touched my back during my visit it was so sensitive I could hardly tolerate it. There are probably 30 or more years worth of knots in that baby.

What amazes me about this whole experience is the relief that came within 24 hours of my doctor visit. I have not even gotten any hands-on treatment yet, but the medication alone has helped immmensely. I don't think I realized until the pain went away how much it was coloring my outlook. Now that it has substantially subsided I realize how uncomfortable I was. I think I was hurting more than I knew. My husband says I have a high pain tolerance and that for me to complain and actually go to a doctor was telling.

Having gone through a week of pretty constant hurting rather than off-and-on type hurting, I wonder at people who have truly serious, chronic pain. I can't imagine what it must be like. I was exhausted by my one week of minor pain; how must it be to face not a week but months and years of pain that is far worse?

I hope to not find out. Yesterday I renewed our expired membership at our local recreational center's fitness club. I am renewing my commitment to exercise and increase my strength, starting with my back and shoulders and arms. There are certain things I cannot control or change when it comes to my body, but there are other things I can, and exercise is one of them. Maybe this time I will see it through better than I have in the past. Now in addition to all the other good arguments for exercising that I have always known to be true, I have discovered another one: avoidance of worse and future pain. Talk about a motivator.

Rudolph and Bullying

2011-12-08T07:42:00.006-06:00

Recently a new children's book came out entitled No More Bullies at the North Pole. You can read more about it here. It is a politically correct revision of the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer story (as it was told in the old television special) that is currently receiving a lot of well-deserved ridicule. If you do a web search for "Rudolph" and "bullying" you will find all kinds of stories on the topic, both pro and con.

I do not think that children's stories are appropriate vehicles for the advancing of political agendas, and the things that I have read about this updated Rudolph make me roll my eyes in exasperation. At the same time, I seem to have a different take on this story than many of my online friends. I have always been bothered by the unkindness and bullying that are a part of the old Rudolph television story, going all the way back to when I watched the program as a child. I remember being horrified at Rudolph's treatment at the hands (hooves?) not only of the other young reindeer but also of the reindeer flying instructor, of Santa, and even of his own father, Donner. After Rudolph is born and his nose first lights up, Donner expresses deep shame and embarrassment at his new offspring and quickly fashions a covering of mud that makes it hard for Rudolph to talk and breathe. When Santa visits and sees the nose, he chastises Donner for having such an offspring and applauds Donner's efforts to keep the nose a secret. And when Rudolph goes to school, the teacher is the one who leads the other young reindeer in ostracizing Rudolph. The grownups in Rudolph's life, who ought to be helping and supporting and protecting and defending him, set the example for how others should mistreat him. Even Santa!

In the articles I have read on this story it is usually pointed out that Rudolph overcomes his bullying and that is what makes it ultimately a positive story. But the fact is that none of those responsible for mistreating him have any second thoughts about their behavior until it becomes clear that Rudolph might be useful to them. Then they change. I'm not sure if that counts as true remorse.

Don't get me wrong. I am not suggesting that people should not let their children watch Rudolph or that they should go out and buy the new, politically correct version. Maybe I am oversensitive because I was severely bullied as a child. But I think the old Rudolph includes a level of bullying behavior that is rather shocking for a children's story. Not just the other "children" but Rudolph's teacher, father, and even Santa (who is always the one who is supposed to make everything right in secular Christmas stories) are terribly cruel to him. No wonder the poor little dude ran away.

UPDATE: More discussion of this topic (including further opining by Yours Truly) here.

The Santa Claus Dilemma

2011-12-06T11:51:00.006-06:00

We are a Santa Claus family. In the same way that my husband and I did when we were growing up, our own children wake up on Christmas morning to find goodies in their stockings and gifts under the tree that weren't there the night before. Over the years I have struggled a little with whether it was wise to carry on the Santa Claus tradition. Some people say that to do so is in effect lying to your children and that it sets them up to doubt other things you tell them. It is also argued that Santa Claus takes attention away from the true reason for Christmas, the birth of Christ. I have pondered these arguments and have worried that maybe they are true. At the same time, as I look at how we rear our children, I see a house in which Jesus is spoken of and taught and looked to as the one true Lord every single day of the year, whereas Santa Claus is an annual blip on the horizon. We don't pray to Santa, we don't talk about him day in and day out, we don't worship him in church, and we don't look to him as the source of all that is true and right and good. Furthermore, because of my inability to look my children in the eye and lie to them about things like flying reindeer and the breaching of the space-time continuum, I have never done so. And yet gifts have appeared and we have passively allowed that they came from Santa Claus. Which, really, they did, right? From Santa Mom and Santa Dad? Sigh. It's a cop-out, I know.

Today is the Feast of St. Nicholas, upon whom Santa Claus is based, and who was a real person in the early days of the Church. You can read more about him here. I have friends who observe the Feast of St. Nicholas apart from Christmas and who even do the gift-giving today rather than on Christmas. I like that. If I had it to do all over again, maybe I would have proposed to my husband that we start a new family tradition and downplay Santa Claus while making more of St. Nicholas. But when I had my first baby almost 20 years ago I was not even aware of this day in the church calendar and the ways that one might observe it. Even if I had been, I honestly don't know that we would have done anything different. Like most people, I strongly identify with the traditions I learned as a child and find it hard to give them up.

Evan, my youngest, has embraced the Santa Claus myth with greater passion than either of my two older children. In spite of the fact that we have previously told him that one person can't do all that Santa supposedly does and that there are really many Santa's and Santa helpers, he at 8 years of age is still holding fast to the Santa story. Earlier this year when he told me what he wanted for his birthday he started to mention one item but then backed off from it, saying that no, he would put that on his Christmas list because while we couldn't afford it Santa certainly could. I decided right then and there that we needed to make sure and get him precisely THAT gift for his birthday because we wanted the best gift coming from us, not Santa!

Today in observance of St. Nicholas Day we read together the true story of St. Nicholas and I looked Evan in the eye and told him that Santa Claus is based on the real person of St. Nicholas, who died many years ago but who because of what he did and stood for has inspired others to carry on his example of giving, especially at Christmastime. Evan looked right back at me and without hesitation said, "But there's one thing I still don't understand, Mom. How do the reindeer fly?"

Sigh. There's always next year, right?

They Grow Up So Fast. Or Not.

2011-11-29T12:19:00.010-06:00

My 8-year-old, Evan, has long needed a light on in his room to go to sleep. Not merely a night light, but an actual light. We haven't made an issue of it but have allowed him to keep a small lamp turned on when he goes to bed. If someone happens to still be up when Evan falls asleep that person turns his light off at that time, but Evan is such a night owl that he is often the last person to fall asleep, so often his lamp stays on all night. I figure if it helps him to feel safe and doesn't impede his sleeping, what's the harm?

This morning Evan announced with pride that he had gone to sleep without any light last night. I was impressed. This was utterly at his discretion with no suggestion from us. I congratulated him on his achievement and he responded, "Yeah, I'm getting to be a bigger boy" and I, of course, agreed. A little while later when he was getting his clothes on I noticed something odd about his hair. One portion of his bangs looked a little shorter than the rest but I attributed it to his haircut this past week--I usually cut his hair myself but in the interest of time got his cut when my daughter and I went to the stylist for ours. I figured the barber must have made a small cutting error that I hadn't previously noticed.

Um, no. As I was fingering his hair, Evan proudly informed me, "That part was bothering me so I cut it." After impressing upon him the pitfalls of cutting his own hair and my desire that he never do that again, it occurred to me to wonder where that hair ended up. In the sink drain, perhaps? I asked.

"In the vent." That would be, in case you're wondering, the heating/cooling floor vent in his room. Of course. That's where we always put things we want to get rid of, right?

Check your vents, everyone. And remember, "responsibility" and "maturity" are entirely relative terms.

(P.S. If you know Evan in real life, let's just keep this post between the two of us, okay?)

"A Most Thankful Collage"

2011-11-24T16:01:00.005-06:00

"Today is Thanksgiving Day. A lot of people have said a lot of things about today and what it means, and honestly, I don't have much to add. The problem with talking about the meaning of things is that you can get tangled up in your own words. I may be a writer, but words still have a way of tripping me up and turning me around. The thing is, words are flawed, just like everything else.

"I think life is summed up best, not in big words, but small moments. . . . "

So begins my daughter. You are invited to read the rest here.

The Life Abundant

2011-11-22T07:27:00.005-06:00

That's what my husband calls it when life is so full you can hardly think straight. He's got the right attitude. Life has been full this week, but so very good. Just a short catch-up post for those with inquiring minds who aren't in my other "loops."

Trevor is coming home tomorrow! We were informed of a bus service, Megabus, that runs a route from Omaha to Chicago. A Lincoln area friend of ours will get Trevor to the bus tonight and he will sleep (we hope) while he travels. We'll pick him up in downtown Chicago at 6:50 in the morning. This homefront is beside itself with anticipation. The only bad part is that he will have to go back on Sunday for about three more weeks. Four days at home is not enough time when we have not had him here since August.

We installed our new pastor! If you have been out of the country and are unaware, he is Rev. Jonathan Fisk. The installation service can be viewed here. The first piece of music you hear for preservice (a piano arrangement of the tune HYFRYDOL) is played by my talented daughter. That's my husband directing the choir and playing organ for most of the service. The organ prelude and first hymn were played by Pastor Fisk's father Dale, a fellow church musican. We are overjoyed to have the Fisks in our midst and are enjoying the flowering of new friendships and the promise of reaching more people with the Gospel in our little part of Chicagoland.

Caitlin and I finished painting the dining room and it looks wonderful (see previous post). Had hoped to get the kitchen done before Thanksgiving, but alas--right now I will do well to handle the cleaning and cooking for Thanksgiving. The rest will have to wait.

Phillip has finished his year of traveling. Since January of this year he has been to Minnesota (twice), St. Louis (four times), Nebraska (three times), Alabama, Montreal, Ontario, Congo, Florida, Texas, Colorado, and Springfield (twice). Sometimes I didn't know whether he was coming or going. Next year promises to be much quieter on the traveling front. We are looking forward to having Dad around the house a little more.

Evan sang with the children's choir at church for the first time Sunday. We still have to work a little bit on the attention span, but it was a triumph for him. The first time we mentioned his singing with the children's choir he panicked. I think I previously shared here that he had much anxiety about it, which surprised us considering the family he is in. But then we thought maybe the anxiety was because of the family he is in! The happy ending is that he conquered those fears and told us yesterday morning, "I'm starting to like choir." Yay!

Oh, and how could I forget--I got Issues, Etc. Blog of the Week this past Friday. It was for the "Maternal Overreach" post. Thanks for the raw material, Evan sweetie!

And with that, I must get back to cleaning and cooking. A blessed and happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

That Other Blog

2011-11-16T18:38:00.002-06:00

I haven't posted on it in almost a year (where does the time go?), but I did tonight.

A Maternal Overreach

2011-11-14T06:07:00.001-06:00

It seems to be a week for sharing Evan stories.

A few nights ago we were driving home after eating dinner out together, just the two of us (everyone else was out of town), and he piped up from the back seat:

"Mom, when I grow up, I want to help people."

Ah, be still, my proud mommy heart. "Why, Evan, what a nice thought. Helping people is a great goal. What would you like to do to help people?" I'm thinking maybe doctor, fireman, Roto-Rooter man . . . .

"I'd like to help people who are lost."

Even better! I go in for the kill.

"That's really cool, Evan! You know, the people who are most lost are the ones who don't know about Jesus. Maybe when you grow up you could help people find Jesus, like Pastor does."

Silence. Then, "Mom, I don't understand you. I meant like if they get lost in the forest, I would help them find their way out."

Oh.

Can't blame a Lutheran mom for trying!

Raisin' 'em Right

2011-11-10T11:08:00.005-06:00

"Mom, if Calvin lived next door to us I would have a few choice words for him about girls."

"Really, Evan? What would you tell him?"

"I would tell him that girls are not slimy and they're good and I would not be in his club. And if he didn't believe me I would wrestle him to the ground and punch him."

"What do you think about girls, Evan?"

"I think they're not slimy and I think they're beautiful and I love them. Do you know what Calvin thinks girls are good for?"

"What, Evan?"

"He thinks they're good for nothing and for throwing water balloons at."

"And what do you think girls are good for, Evan?"

"For smooching and loving and hugging. And for having babies and taking care of them."

(Ahem. Dad, I think this one may need "the talk" a little earlier than the others.)

"Evan, who is your favorite girl to smooch and love and hug?"

"YOU!"

I love this kid.

Beyond His Years

2011-11-05T07:02:00.008-06:00

Last night we had my youngest child's 8th birthday party. His birthday was actually last week, but we couldn't work it out to get together with friends until this weekend. We invited two families to join us at a nearby bowling alley for arcade fun, bowling, pizza and cake. My kid is the one with the goofy smile.

Last night on the way home in the car--it was just me and Evan because Dad and sister were in another car--Evan's joy was palpable. I am reminded of that old song, "My Cup Runneth Over." Evan's cup was definitely pouring out all over the back seat. He kept telling me how much he loved me and what a great day he had had and at one point said, "I'm happy I'm alive." I told him that he had many blessings and a thankful heart and he agreed.

Last night when it was time to go to bed we "snuggled" together for a long time. Suddenly Evan turned serious and mused aloud, "I guess I'll be too big for the children's museum soon." I told him of course he wouldn't--that there are adults going to the children's museum all the time. Then he stated, "I miss my younger days." I told him I did, too, a little. He responded: "But we can't reverse the days."

No, Evan, we can't.

"We can't time travel."

No, Evan, we can't time travel.

I asked him what he missed and he said he missed some of his old toys and sitting on my lap and his preschool class (even though we homeschool our children Evan went to the half day preschool at our church for a couple of years). I told him he could still sit on my lap and he said, "Yeah, but pretty soon I'll be too big to fit." Then he started to cry: "I miss Mrs. Bolt [his preschool teacher, who died several years ago from breast cancer]. And I miss Grandmother and Granddad. And I miss Trevor [his brother, who is away at college right now]." The sobs became loud and furious.

I hugged and comforted him, of course, and once he calmed down we talked. I told him I understood his sadness because the passing of time is a hard thing to accept, but we have no choice but to do so. God made him to grow and to some day grow up, and that is what he is going to do. I told him that parents are sad sometimes to see their babies grow up but that at the same time they are overjoyed to see all the wonderful things that come with those babies growing up and that I was so excited to see where life would be taking him. He took all this in and then said, "Some people don't have children."

"No, Evan, some people don't."

"That's sad."

"Yes, that's sad. But some people have a different calling. Not everyone gets married."

"But some people get married and still don't have children."

"That's right. For reasons we don't understand, God does not send children to all married people. It might be that He has other plans for them--other things that He wants them to do." I gave him the example of a faithful Lutheran couple in his life that do not have biological children but that have many, many people that they serve and care for in other ways, including spiritually. And then I told him that there are seasons of life--that there is a time for having babies and a time for not having babies. He looked up at me questioningly:

"We're not going to have another baby."

"No, we're not going to have another baby. Right now Dad's and my job is to take care of the babies we already have."

At that point the conversation took a different turn--I think it may have been to tell me about the Sponge Bob episode he watched earlier--and I instructed my newly minted 8-year-old to get his pajamas on and brush his teeth. We met in his room a little while later for bedtime story and prayers and I pulled out a family favorite: Love You Forever by Robert Munsch. I couldn't remember if I had ever read it to Evan. If I had, it had been a long time ago and he didn't remember either.

We started to read the book and already on the very first singing of the "Love You Forever" poem on the first page I started to choke up. But we forged ahead. I told Evan to keep his eye out for the kitty in the story, which is on every page until the boy in the story grows up and moves away from home, at which point that first kitty is nowhere to be found but a brand new baby kitten can be seen at the now grown up man's new house. Evan had fun looking for the kitty but I could tell he was taking the book very seriously. As we neared the end--the page where the man visits his old, sick mother and holds her on his lap--I wondered to myself, "Oh dear, what have I done? What was I thinking in pulling out this book?" I offered to put the book away and told Evan we could finish it another time. Amidst his tears, he said no. He wanted to read to the end.

I think that to the extent that an 8-year-old is able, he understood the book. He understood that some day that old lady with gray hair and glasses will be me and he will be the grown-up man who holds his elderly mother on his lap and sings her the "Love You Forever" song before going home to sing it again to his newborn baby girl. After we finished reading, tears streaming down both our faces, I told Evan that this book is about the passing of time and how we grieve the things we leave behind but how we pass those things on to our children, and our children pass them on to their children, and how it goes on forever and ever until the end of time. The book does not come from a Christian viewpoint, but I reminded Evan that the love that gets passed down through generations started with Jesus and will end with Jesus when we join Him in heaven.

With watery eyes, Evan looked at me. "That's a sad book, Mom."

"Yes, Evan, but it's a happy book, too."

"Yes, it's sad and happy. It's almost got too much sadness and happiness to take."

Welcome to the rest of your life, Evan.

He went to the shelf to get another book.

Google+

2011-11-02T13:50:00.005-06:00

I recently received an email from a friend inviting me to join Google Plus and be in one of her "circles." (For those who may not be aware, Google Plus, or Google+, is Google's version of Facebook.)

I love the lady who sent me the invite and if anyone could get me to join Google+ she could. But although I have been hearing about Google+ for a while I have so far resisted joining and have no plans to change my mind. I have a feeling if I were to join Google+ I would find myself just getting more of what I already get on Facebook:

1) More time spent in cyberspace instead of real life

2) More interacting with the same people I already interact with on Facebook (most of whom are lovely, but hey, there's a limit to how much loveliness I can fit in between all the normal stuff of daily life)

3) More opportunities to witness passive-aggressive, bullying, mean and clique-ish behavior by people who seem to time-warp back to junior high whenever they log into their account. No, wait, I take that back. My teenagers never behaved the way I see some people behaving on Facebook.

4) More opportunities to read someone's "vaguebooking" and scratch my head and say "Huh?"

5) More off-color jokes, weird and scary pictures, profanity, vulgarity, and pointless quizzes and games.

6) More opportunities to experience personal rejection in the form of getting unfriended and blocked by people I really shouldn't even care about.

7) More opportunities to grapple with the dilemma of who my "friends" are and to what extent I can keep up with their lives

Don't get me wrong--there are some very good things about social media. I wouldn't be on Facebook otherwise. But there is a lot of ickiness, too, and more ickiness is one thing I do not need in my life. So I'll see you here and I'll see you on Facebook and I'll maybe even see you in real life. But unless all of my close friends completely disappear from Facebook, Google+ will continue to be a minus in my social accounting book.

Last Week

2011-10-30T15:54:00.002-06:00

Sick child.

Company.

Furniture moving and painting.

Husband out of town.

Practicing for upcoming gig.

'nough said.

HAPPY REFORMATION DAY!

Evan Goes to Children's Choir

2011-10-23T13:09:00.004-05:00

Evan joined the after school children's choir (Schola Cantorum) a few weeks ago. It was a momentous occasion, not only because children's choir is a new experience for him, but because he was extremely nervous about the prospect. Oddly enough, my extroverted child who has no fear of playing for a piano recital had a lot of fears about being in children's choir. He was worried that he wouldn't know people. He was worried that he wouldn't know what to do. It was little comfort to him that his father is the director of the choir and his mother the accompanist or that he would be assigned a choir "buddy" to assist him as he learned. During the weeks leading up to his first rehearsal, he had several crying spells. Realizing that he was sincerely panicked about the prospect and not just trying to be difficult, we told him that he could start by observing and would not have to join until he was ready.

By week two he was ready. :-) Below are a few photos I took, not at his second rehearsal, but at his third. As you can see, he has totally bought in to the concept now. (The kid that loves to show off on the piano is still a little worried about having to wear a choir robe and having the congregation look at him when the choir sings. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I find it odd that he is so shy about singing for the congregation. But then I think perhaps it is a reflection of the seriousness with which he approaches the liturgy, and that is kind of cool.)

Evan is in navy, center of front row. And by the way, this was a low attendance week. Our children's choir numbers seem to wax and wane over the years, and we are in a slightly lower year, but this is not the full group.

Random Thought of the Day

2011-10-22T07:51:00.001-05:00

Last Sunday I watched some of the dedication ceremony for the new Martin Luther King, Jr. memorial in Washington, D.C. I found it discouraging to see several of the speakers focus their remarks not on remembering Dr. King and his life and vision but on rehashing tired racial and class warfare tropes. Now don't get me wrong: I believe there is still racism. But I believe it is rare in this country and is something that cannot be addressed by political or governmental means. Racism is no longer an institutional phenomenon; this country has addressed it to the extent I think we legally and politically can; and I think the fact that we have elected a black President from one major party and have another black man leading the polls as a candidate for the other major party speaks volumes about how far we have come as a nation. And yet I think there are people who have so long defined themselves in terms of their minority status that they don't know how to stop doing so. It's almost as though if they acknowledge that things are getting better they will lose their purpose and identity. Furthermore, if they acknowledge that the thing they once agitated for has been achieved, their status as an injured group--and the power that comes with that status--becomes questionable.

It occurs to me that individuals sometimes do the same thing that aggrieved groups do, clinging to their injured status even when circumstances have changed to the point that they could let it go, and that they sometimes do so for the very same reason: because giving it up would mean they would not only lose some of the power associated with that status--because there often is power in weakness--but would also mean they would have to learn new ways of looking at themselves and interacting with the world, something that is hard to do when you have for so long operated within a certain framework.

Weekend Update

2011-10-21T16:32:00.006-05:00

Because I can't think of anything else to write right now. Or more accurately, because the other things that I can think of to write require more time and brain exertion than I can currently allocate.

My husband is on a plane for Texas today. He will be picking up his deceased parents' dining room set from his sister, who has had it for several years, and bringing it back here to live in our house indefinitely. It will be a welcome change. Right now our dining room "set" is an odd assortment of mismatched garage sale pieces, including a table that no longer has any matching chairs (we are currently using folding chairs around it). My in-laws' set consists of a table with six chairs, a china cabinet, a small buffet, and a large buffet. I'll have to take before and after pictures and post them here.

I have lost track of how many times my husband has come and gone from our house the past few months, and he's not finished yet. This weekend it's Texas. Next weekend he's doing some church consulting in Colorado. After that he'll be providing music for a Doxology pastors' retreat, followed by presenting at a church music conference in Ontario. The guy gets around.

Tonight I will be attending the advance commitment dinner for our church's capital campaign to build a new wing for music and youth. Our keynote speaker will be none other than our new pastor, Rev. Jonathan Fisk. It promises to be a grand evening. The only thing that would make it better is if I had my date here to go with me.

I'm trying to get myself revved up to do some painting and staining. Our back sliding glass door, installed last year during a major home repair, is wood and has yet to be stained and varnished. It needs to be done and I think I can do it myself, but I keep putting it off. And then there's the dining room. Seems that the time to paint it is before you move the new furniture in, right? But then I would have to choose a color. And shop for paint. And move the current furniture out of the way. And actually do the painting, all before Monday night . . . .

Today was a beautiful day. We need more of these before winter sets in. We have SO much yard work to get done but it is very hard to find days that aren't filled up with other things.

Speaking of days, we are counting them until our college freshman will be home for Thanksgiving. Haven't seen him since Labor Day.

It seems like it has been a very long time since I have not had some part of my body hurting with an ache or pain. I know I need to exercise. But it seems there is always something more pressing to do. Like write a weekend update blog post.

Our home school studies are going well. I will have to write a separate post on that topic soon.

Psalm 29

2011-10-14T07:22:00.003-05:00

Last Sunday our adult choir at church sang this through-composed choral setting of Psalm 29, entitled "The Voice of the Lord," by contemporary composer Jonathan Kohrs. The piece was published by Liturgy Solutions and is available here. It has quickly become a favorite of our choir and congregation. The text of Psalm 29 is powerfully painted by the choir part and the piano accompaniment (featuring yours truly). The piece itself is not as hard as it sounds--it is challenging primarily in the rhythmic demands it makes due to changes in meter and shifts between a duple and triple feeling in the choir part. And it is long, but the minimalist/repetitive nature of the piece means there is not nearly as much music to learn as it might seem.

Our choir has sung this piece several times and I think this year we nailed it! I hope you will listen and be edified by "The Voice of the Lord."

Love Letter for My Daughter

2011-10-12T09:34:00.008-05:00

In recent years as my daughter has turned into a young lady, people occasionally mistake us for one another (usually it's if they see me from behind or at a distance, not close up!). Caitlin and I are about the same size (although I think she has now barely passed me up in height) and we can share shoes and some of the same clothes. We both have rather full faces and lips and wavy hair. I take it as a compliment when people tell me we look alike because my daughter is absolutely gorgeous.

We also share some other similarities. Caitlin is a word girl like me. She is a reader, writer and musician. She thinks deeply. She is a little clumsy and not terribly athletic. She doesn't have a very good sense of direction (sorry honey--wish you had taken after your father in that area).

But in many ways my daughter and I are very different and as I consider those differences I find that the things about her that sometimes "challenge" me are also the things that I most admire about her. Here are a few examples.

My daughter is a dreamer. Her mind wanders easily but when it wanders it is often because she is pondering huge, profound and pivotal questions. She cares about the Big Ideas of life and she values truth, goodness and beauty. She is not only a musician and writer but also an artist. She is creative in a way that I am not. She can think outside the box and imagine something where there was nothing. I need people and events to write about; in her writing she creates not just people and events but whole worlds!

My daughter is not particularly task-oriented. She is easily distracted. But I wish sometimes I were more easily distracted. She takes time, if you will pardon the cliche, to smell the roses. And play with the bugs. And dig in the mud. And wish upon stars.

My daughter is not afraid to get her hands dirty. She does not avoid things because they might make a mess. Sometimes I wish she would notice and address the mess a little more than she does. ;-) But I could learn from her that life is meant to be lived, not cleaned and organized and put away.

My daughter is comfortable in her own skin. She is not a clothes horse or fashion maven or shopaholic. Actually, neither am I. But I admire that she worries little about appearances, hers or anyone else's, knowing that what makes people who they are is not what's on the outside, but what's on the inside.

My daughter is one of the most kindhearted and compassionate souls I have ever known. She is also highly moral and concerned with living a life of integrity. Sometimes the preceding two characteristics cause her to worry to excess, a trait I suppose she did get from me. Sorry about that one, too, honey.

And finally, my daughter is someone who is passionate about her passions and who pursues them passionately. :-) (By the way, she gets that from her father.) She doesn't walk through the house (how boring): she bounces, runs, and skips! Sometimes in the midst of it all certain things get overlooked or forgotten. Or broken. :-D But it is only because her heart is busy dreaming and her brain working and her soul embracing all that life has to offer. The overlooking and forgetting and breaking are things that she is working on. But you know what? If I had to make a choice, I would rather have a daughter who tramples a few plants as she's making her way through the forest than one who can't see the forest for the trees.

I love you, Caitlin. Thank you for being the kind of daughter I always dreamed of and the kind of person I am honored to call friend. Oh, and happy 16th birthday! ♥

Weekend Update

2011-10-08T08:25:00.005-05:00

It has been a week. Last Saturday my mom, who lives with us, was taken by ambulance to the ER with severe rectal bleeding. It turned out to be a diverticular bleed, for which we are thankful (this is a less serious condition than some other things it could have been), but the hospital stay extended to five nights because the amount of blood lost made my mom quite weak and necessitated a blood transfusion. She is now home. Unfortunately the timing of this incident made it necessary for me to cancel a weekend getaway to Nebraska with a group of my fellow Lutheran homeschool moms. I am very sad about that but am telling myself various things to ease the pain, such as--

1) I will be way more refreshed than they will be on Monday morning and will have marked several new items off my task list by that time.

2) There are about 20 people at this retreat and I am an introvert. It would have been an emotionally as well as physically exhausting time.

3) I'm not having to spend over 20 hours in the car.

4) I know am blessed, even though it often doesn't seem like it to me, to be able to care for my mom. (See Blessings, Inconvenient.)

(Of course, I would have gladly given up all of these benefits to get to go. But humor me. It makes me feel better to think about it in this way.)

So here I am. But I am not alone. I am also blessed to have my youngest son and daughter home this weekend, as well as my daughter's best friend, and we are planning a few fun activities together: a trip to the local independent bookstore followed by treats at the ice cream shop, and maybe a movie. Meanwhile my husband is coincidentally off to Nebraska himself to visit our oldest son at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, where they will be attending the Nebraska-Ohio game today (Go Big Red)! That very wonderful husband offered to cancel his own Nebraska trip to stay home with my mom so I could go on my getaway, but he has not seen our son since Trevor left for college in August. So I said thanks, but no thanks.

Speaking of Trevor, he is thriving in his first year of college beyond my wildest dreams. I am not surprised that the academics are going well. But as his mother I had many worries about how he would handle things on his own that he has never had to handle before. Things that seem pretty basic, such as ordering a choir tux online or taking your pants to a tailor to be hemmed, can be rather challenging if you have never had to do them before. But he is doing great, not only with the life stuff but with the academic as well. He is majoring in music and has already risen to the top echelon of his piano teacher's studio, getting invited (as a freshman) to play for piano departmental recital and a visiting pianist's master class, and this coming week, competing in several competitions. That last item will necessitate a new life skill, too: riding a city bus (Trevor does not have a car and the competition is at a different school). But I am worrying less and less about his ability to handle these new experiences. I know he will figure them out. It helps that he has kept in very close contact with us all along the way. We talk on the phone every few days, which is just as helpful for us as it is for him, keeping us in the loop of his life. I am thankful he is sharing his days with us to the extent he is. It makes the separation much easier to take!

Trevor will be home for Thanksgiving, and by that time we will have had another extremely exciting development: the arrival of our new pastor! My church, which is a large suburban Chicago congregation of the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod, has recently called a third pastor. Our three pastors will now be working together under a new ordering of their duties modeled on our church body's threefold emphasis: Witness, Mercy, and Life Together. As I understand it, our new pastor's emphasis will be Witness and will include work with missions, evangelism, and youth. If you want to see him in action, check out this video (the latest in a regular series that he puts out several times per week). In it he uses the occasion of his call to my church to do some general teaching about the Divine Call and then he goes on to do some Bible study on Romans 9. Watch. If this is your first time to meet Rev. Jonathan Fisk, you are in for a treat.

Sunshine, gorgeous fall weather, and cool & awesome kids await, so I am out of here for now to go enjoy some highly convenient blessings!

WaterLife

2011-10-03T00:21:00.003-05:00

Before I can remember, the covenant was sealed
With Father, Son, and Spirit in water was revealed.
The cleansing was for certain, with water and the word;
His gentle words were spoken, in heaven they were heard.

They were singing water life, beginning life, water life, all my life
Water life, spirit life, water life.

A simple sweet beginning, a loving place to start:
Christ began the singing that swells within my heart.
His love became my calling, my life His ministry.
His name is my adoption into His family.

My hope and expectation for true community,
Begins with resurrection, His death and life in me.
His Spirit fills the body; His church through water sees
His promise for tomorrow, His water life in me.

Inconvenient Blessings

2011-10-01T08:49:00.003-05:00

I'm guessing most of my readers are aware of Pat Robertson's comments on Alzheimer's disease a few weeks ago. He said that he would understand someone married to an Alzheimer's patient needing to seek out alternative companionship or even divorcing his spouse so as to marry someone else. When asked about the marital promise to remain faithful unto death, he responded by saying that Alzheimer's is a kind of death, in effect excusing the deserting or philandering spouse.

As one might expect, most of the ensuing discussion of Robertson's remarks has been negative, particularly among Christians. But it seems the condemnation of Robertson has centered on the harm done to the Alzheimer's patient and the repudiation of the promise made in marriage to remain with that person for life. I have seen little consideration of the harm that is done to the spouse who turns his or her back on the afflicted partner when frankly, that person suffers as much as or more than the one he turns his back on because through his actions he is impoverishing himself and his own heart and soul.

Several times over the past year I have had friends thank me for being a confidante to them in a time of struggle, praying for their needs or helping out in some more material way. Sometimes they have apologized for "bothering" me with their troubles. But in my experience, when the opportunity to help someone comes along and I actually take advantage of it (sinner that I am, I don't always do so), I benefit far more than the person I am supposedly helping. I pray and in so doing am brought closer to God. I offer encouraging words and the words come back in even greater measure. I offer a helping hand and am blessed by the experience. Even when the immediate situation seems messy or inconvenient or distasteful I know that God is using it for good and in the big picture of His plan I will be enriched.

I know I am not sharing anything revolutionary here (see Galatians 6). Paul says that we reap what we sow and instructs us to bear one another's burdens. But I think we can get so caught up in the sowing that we sometimes overlook the reaping. And the blessings come not just on the cosmic level, although I think that's part of it, but also on the immediate level in ways obvious and less so. The blessings are also not some sort of tit for tat--you did good so God is going to reward you--but rather a reflection of the way the world is. We don't live in bubbles, disconnected from one another. We are in this thing together. What goes around comes around. (See Donne, John, Meditation XVII)

Yes, when we sin, we sin against God and against others. But in so doing we inflict equal damage upon ourselves. By the same token, when we do good we bless ourselves as much as others. There is nothing new under the sun. Our words and deeds go out, bounce around in the world, and come right back to us. May they be of the sort that we are glad to see them headed back our way.

Be Careful What You Dream

2011-09-25T22:50:00.008-05:00

Last week at a rehearsal of our parish children's choir, our associate cantor (filling in for my husband) was working with the children on singing vowels. At one point she instructed them to pretend to pick an apple off a tree, the plan being (I think) to have them "bite" their apples, resulting in wide, open mouths and lifted soft palates. But no sooner had everyone started reaching up arms to pick "fruit" from their "trees" than one conscientious young lady raised her hand and observed, "You're not supposed to do that. Picking apples is against the law. So is picking leaves."

Sigh. Having taken over the real world, political correctness has now moved on to our imaginations.

Horla

2011-09-22T07:23:00.004-05:00

This is Horla. She lives in Brazzaville-Congo, where my husband has recently spent over a week teaching liturgy and hymnody to French-speaking African Lutherans using the (relatively) new hymnal from the Lutheran Church in Canada: Liturgies et cantiques luthériens.

Horla was an attendee at the conference my husband led. She lives in the church/parsonage where the conference was held, having been taken in by the pastor when she was forced to leave her home (for reasons unknown). She earns her keep by helping out around the church and house, so at times she missed part of the conference. On the other hand, since she lives at the parsonage, she benefited from having greater access to the hymnals, which were kept at church when people went home for the night.

Towards the end of his time in Brazzaville, my husband was singing with a group of women and asked for requests. Horla selected "Humble et doux Jésus" which we know as "O Jesus So Sweet, O Jesus So Mild." This hymn was not taught during the conference; Horla had discovered it on her own. Phillip taught it to her in short order and then videotaped this conversation with her. At the end of the interview he prevails upon her to sing the hymn, even though, as you will observe, she is shy about doing so at first. I invite you to watch. I think you will agree that she does a beautiful job, as do the ladies who join in for later stanzas.

Michele, Not My Belle

2011-09-16T13:39:00.006-05:00

Two posts in one day. It's either feast or famine around here. I started writing a Facebook status and realized what I really wanted to write was a blog post. You're welcome. (Or not, as the case may be.)

I have not decided whom I will vote for in the Republican primary. I do know that in the general election I will vote for the Republican nominee, whoever he or she is. If I believe anything at all, it's that we must repudiate the current President and his failed policies and that our only chance of doing that is uniting around the Republican challenger.

Of the frontrunners right now, I am leaning towards Rick Perry. He is not perfect, but I think his positives far outweigh his negatives. Of the second tier, I like Rick Santorum. But for whatever reason, I do not see him gaining enough of a following to be a contender for the nomination.

In recent years I have had a very high opinion of Michele Bachmann. I was glad to see her enter the race. But as I have watched her compete for the nomination, I have become less impressed. In the past week she has struck me as making mistakes born of desperation. Her Gardasil offensive on Perry has been completely over the top, as she has drawn vivid word pictures of an evil government forcing "injections" on "little 12-year-old girls." She has continued to hammer the point even though Perry has admitted he made a mistake in issuing an executive order (that was never enforced) mandating the vaccination in Texas. To his acknowledgment of error she has responded by saying that the President of the United States has to get it right the first time--that there are no "do-overs"--and she assures the country she will.

Really, Mrs. Bachmann? There is no room for error, at all, when you hold executive office? You don't expect that as President you would ever make a single mistake?

My guess is that she, like all of us, has made mistakes in the past and will probably make more in the future, President or not. And what scares me more than someone who might make a mistake is someone who will not admit it.

In fact, Mrs. Bachmann did make a mistake. After the CNN debate in which she went after Perry, Bachmann claimed that a woman came up to her thanking her for her remarks on Gardasil and claiming that her daughter had become mentally retarded as a result of the vaccination. That comment made its way into some of Bachmann's post-debate interviews, as there she continued to attack Perry on the issue. But since then there have been questions about the source of the claim and whether such a person actually made it. There have also been several high-profile repudiations of the claim that the vaccination has been shown to be dangerous and Bachmann has had to back away slightly from that claim. (What, Mrs. Bachmann? Do you mean to say that you didn't get it right the first time?) Ultimately, introducing vaccination fear--a different issue--into what started out as a legitimate criticism of the use of executive power has weakened her argument. But when Perry neutralized her attack by admitting his error I guess she thought she had to find a way to keep up the attack. How much better for her and the entire GOP field (and our 2012 chances) had she thanked him for taking the high road and gone on to do so herself.

The straw that broke this voter's back as far as Bachmann is concerned was seeing her on Facebook today attacking "Obamacare" in the same breath as "Perrycare." Excuse me? This is intellectually dishonest and shallow language. She is doing neither herself nor the cause (which is bigger than she is, after all) any favors with such an approach. She will not have my vote in this primary.

Life Update

2011-09-16T07:51:00.006-05:00

*Sigh.* I am not the blogger I used to be. Almost a week without a post, and at this point I am little motivated to write anything that would require serious thought or wordsmithing. So instead you get an update post.

Yesterday was a week since Phillip left for Congo. I have received one Facebook message from him on a borrowed smartphone and two phone calls made on a borrowed cell phone. He arrived safely at his destination but took a cold (the same one I have) with him. A friend remarked, "Better to take something over there than bring something back here." She has a point. Other than the cold he seems to be doing okay. I was worried he might lose his voice, not a good thing when his reason for being there is to teach singing all day. But his voice is holding out, as is his stomach, and he is in good spirits. During one of his short calls he told me that there are many challenges to the work he is trying to do--there was no time for elaboration--but he was extremely upbeat about all that is being accomplished. He was on a particular high that morning because he and his class had just finished recording "Oh, Lord How Shall I Greet You" and his students were loving singing it. (A major part of the work consists of recording teaching tapes for use in the parishes of those who are attending the workshop.) He said it is very interesting to go back after a year and see how the things he taught last time have fared. Some have continued to be embraced, one or two has been set aside, and others have been slightly adjusted. :-)

As mentioned, I have had a cold, and that has severely impacted my ability to make the most of this week. I had plans for much higher levels of productivity but lost a good four days to the cold (it is a doozy). I sat in bed and watched the 9/11 observances and was alternately depressed and inspired. Both President Bush's and President Clinton's speech at the dedication of the Flight 93 memorial fell into the second category. I was impressed by the progress that has been made on the Ground Zero memorial. People say that ten years is too long--that we should have already slapped up another building by now. I disagree. We needed time to clean up, to grieve, to consider what to do. Anything worthwhile does not get done overnight. I think New York City should be commended for the memorial and the progress they have made on it. If you haven't familiarized yourself with it yet, you should do so. It is beautiful.

I started returning to some feeling of normalcy on Monday, so we did start school, sort of. I tend to be the kind of person who wants to wait until the house is clean and everything is in order before I can wrap my brain around intellectual pursuits. I decided if I waited for those things to happen before we started school we would be on vacation until January. Of 2015. So we started, amidst the chaos that continues to be my house. Caitlin and Evan are so far enjoying their extracurricular classes and activities. Bowling is supposed to start Monday after being postponed for one week to allow for more sign-ups. I'm hoping it doesn't get cancelled.

We had a voters' meeting at my church this week and there were two awesome outcomes. One, the voters approved some major repairs to our aging organ. Two, we approved the calling of a third pastor for youth. I am so-o-o-o-o excited about the person we have called and hoping and praying that soon he and his family will be joining our church family.

Today is full so I better run! Piano student this morning, haircut and orthodontist appointment for Caitlin (her braces are coming, Evan got his a few weeks ago), homeschool co-op, and tonight a little R&R. The plan is to make s'mores on the grill and watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Boy, these life update posts are much easier to write than social commentary. Maybe I should do more of them.

P.S. My daughter has closed her old blog and started a new one. It's worth checking out.

The Ghost of 9/11 Past

2011-09-10T08:14:00.008-05:00

Recently on Facebook I posted a link to a photo retrospective on the 9/11 attacks and made the comment that as painful as it is, we need to continue to remember that day. A good friend of mine said she worried that in all the remembrances and commemorations what we are doing is wallowing in our grief and that she thought those who lost their lives that day would want us to move on.

I understand what she's saying. Sometimes when I see the events of that day replayed on my television screen I think about those who are watching and taking pleasure in the suffering they caused. For them it was a great, victorious occasion and when we relive it perhaps we are feeding their celebrations. On the other hand, I think that we have no choice but to remember what happened and to teach future generations just as we have always taught about terrible things in history, as much as it hurts to do so. We don't turn a blind eye to slavery or war or the Holocaust. These things are facts and we have to face them and teach our children about them. And I guess what I can't figure out is how we remember painful events without revisiting the pain. With time and distance the pain is not so acute, but I think it will always be there. And I think it should be. If we get to the point that we can remember horrible events without feeling horror, I wonder if we're truly remembering.

Here are a couple of columns I recently read on this topic. Again, I can see both sides. Dr. Gene Veith writes about grief and outrage "fatigue" and 9/11 "exhaustion." He says he wishes we could move on. On the other side, Peggy Noonan says "We'll never get over it, nor should we."

What do you think? Can we remember that day without remembering the horror and grief of it? If we downplay those things, are we truly remembering? It occurs to me that in the 21st century our ability to relive past events is much more technologically advanced than it used to be. We have the capacity to replay the news footage from that day in a way that puts us right back in the midst of it in real time. We haven't always been able to do that, so maybe that is part of the dilemma here. We can relive, not merely remember, and maybe my friend is right that instead of remembering, we are wallowing. I don't know. But I do know that in spite of our ability to relive the events of that day I sometimes worry that we have not learned what we should have learned from them. And if that is the case, I suppose wall-to-wall week-long commemorations aren't going to make much difference.

Back to School, Part 3

2011-09-06T10:53:00.016-05:00

This is the third of three installments in my "Back to School" series. This time around there is not much for me to say as I am no longer the teacher of this student. I am not even his advisor unless you're talking laundry and, oh, maybe a few other things. But I am still Mom and head cheerleader and always will be. So here is my first official post as a Nebraska Cornhusker cheerleader!

We moved Trevor into his dorm 2-1/2 weeks ago. On the Friday of move-in weekend, UNL hosted a full day of activities for new students. One of the goose-bumpiest moments was the Freshman Tunnel Walk, in which new students get to walk through the same tunnel the football team uses to take the field at Memorial Stadium before a home game.

Here's a video of the walk if you have a few minutes to kill. We were so excited when we were able to spot Trevor in the crowd.

A photo of Memorial Stadium lit up against the night sky.

We spent several days with Trevor, helping him move in and get to know campus a little better.

He is living in Neihardt Hall, the oldest dorm on campus and also the Honors dorm. (They are dorms--I refuse to call them residence halls as political correctness apparently dictates these days). Neihardt is divided into four wings, which as I understand it sometimes compete with one another à la the four houses of Hogwarts in Harry Potter. Neihardt is also rumored to be haunted, but several intrepid Daily Nebraskan reporters could find no such evidence a few years ago. Trevor will have to let us know if he experiences any of the strange phenomenae himself. :-)

Speaking of Trevor (that IS whom we are speaking of, right?), here he is, all moved in:

We were pleased with his room and his roommate (whom I unfortunately did not get a photo of--maybe next time).

Trevor is a music major, and his class schedule reflects that status: very heavy on music classes with just a few academic courses squeezed in around the edges. He is taking piano, organ, men's chorus, theory, introduction to music (a sort of music appreciation class with, I think, some introductory history thrown in), keyboard skills (higher level skills such as improvisation, transposition and open score reading for advanced pianists), English, and history. I think that is all this semester--I think that's enough, don't you?

One of Trevor's primary reasons for choosing to attend UNL was the piano professor with whom he will be studying. At the end of the first week of classes, Dr. Barnes hosted a party for his students. When I first saw this photo I was most impressed with how much fun everyone seems to be having! Dr. Barnes is seated at the far right.

This past weekend, after Trevor's first two weeks, I took Caitlin and Evan back to see him in his home away from home (they had never been there before). As far as we can tell, Trevor is doing wonderfully. He made it through the first round of laundry, his room was quite presentable, and he seems happy. This photo was taken in the home of my friend Lutheran Hen, who generously invited us to stay with her family during our visit.

We are missing Trevor so much around the house. It hits me in little ways, such as realizing there aren't as many socks in the sock basket, or that I don't need to buy so many bananas. It hits us all in a big way when we sit down to a meal and there are only four plates instead of five. But we are adjusting and taking great pleasure in the knowledge of what Trevor is getting to experience in this, his first semester of college. I have found myself transported back to the fun and wonder of my own college days . . .

. . . my own piano teacher . . .

. . . and a special young man I met that first magical year.

Trevor's dad is going to visit him next month. The rest of us will probably not be seeing him again until Thanksgiving. Seems like an awful long time from now. But it will be one of the most festive Thanksgiving celebrations I think we have ever had!

See you soon, Trevor. In the meantime, carpe diem! I know you will!

Back to Congo

2011-08-30T07:07:00.004-05:00

Last year around this time my husband spent ten days in Congo teaching hymns and liturgy to French-speaking African Lutherans. He was invited to go there by Pastor James May of Lutherans in Africa. Pastor May was my husband's co-teacher and traveling companion and is also now a good friend.

It was a trip my husband will never forget. You can read much more about it under the listing for Congo here on my blog. Next week he will be returning for another round of teaching. As he did last time, he will also be delivering several boxes of Liturgies et cantiques luthériens for distribution to our fellow Lutherans there.

Last year when he did this I was quite nervous about the distance he was going to be traveling (21 hours of air travel to get there) as well as about his safety. That is still in the back of my mind, but I find myself right now thinking less of those things and much more of what it is going to be like when he arrives once again among his friends in Brazzaville. For they are most assuredly friends, and I can only try to imagine the joyful reunion that will be experienced by both my husband and the people he came so quickly to love and who came to love him. When he said goodbye last year he was presented with several articles of African clothing. One of the things he is looking forward to doing is taking back a picture of our family wearing the clothing we were given. Here is a photo of me, Caitlin and Phillip doing just that at a recent presentation on his trip that Phillip gave at our church.

Phillip will be leaving next week on Thursday. I would appreciate your prayers for his safety and well-being as well as for his work, that it might be a blessing to the Congolese Lutherans. I thought I would leave you with this video from his last trip. It is a drive through the streets of Brazzaville a day or two after his arrival. The other two people in the video are Pastor May and Pastor Mavoungu of the EELC (Evangelical Lutheran Church of Congo). You can get an idea from the video of the living conditions in Brazzaville. But what I am most struck by is the joy of these three men as they do the Lord's work. Shortly into the video they start singing. After a stanza or two of the song, Phillip interjects a comment. The comment is acknowledged, but notice what happens next. Instead of returning to conversing, Pastor Mavoungu picks back up on the next stanza of the song. He will not be distracted from singing! Phillip told me that this is typical: once his Congolese friends started a song or a hymn, whether in a formal (church) or informal setting, they did not stop until they sang the whole thing. We in our hurry-up, cram-it-in, cross-it-off-the-task-list lives could learn from those priorities.

If you would like to support Lutherans in Africa and specifically their efforts in Congo-Brazzaville, let me know and I will put you in touch with the right people.

Back to School, Part 2

2011-08-29T08:16:00.005-05:00

Not long ago I wrote a back to school post outlining this year's plan for my 7-year-old. At the time I promised something similar for my 15-year-old sophomore. This is that post!

As I write this I am waiting for said 15-year-old, who is taking high school geometry at a homeschool co-op in our area. The co-op meets Monday and Friday at a local church. Monday is their academic program and Friday is their enrichment program. If we were so inclined we could sign up for a full contingent of academic classes but we prefer to do the rest at home. Students attend Monday and work independently the rest of the week, returning Friday if they desire for electives. Students who are taking advanced math, however, are required to return Friday for a math lab, so Caitlin will have geometry twice per week (which is a good thing, as math is not her strongest suit). The teacher seems to be highly qualified, having many years of experience teaching math at both the high school and college level, so I am optimistic about the outlook for the class. It is a small group and the teacher seems to be organized and readily available for email help (grades and communication are being managed through Engrade). The text is Glencoe.

For science we will stick with Apologia. I offered Caitlin the option of doing something different, but she likes Apologia and does not wish to change. She will be studying physical science this year. She has been accustomed to doing science with her brother for the last few years and he, of course, has left for college, so I hope we are able to maintain motivation. I will probably need to invest myself in studying more with her so I am glad she is doing physical science as I much prefer it to biology (which she took last year)!

For history we plan on doing some rapid review using the Short Lessons books. We'll start with world history and if we finish that move on to U.S. history. We had actually planned to do this over the summer but, well, you know how that goes. Our history study over the years has been very spread out so I am hoping this quick, broad sweep will provide a succinct overview on which we can build with some more in depth study in Caitlin's last two years of high school. We will supplement the Short Lessons text with some historical fiction and whatever else we can come up with, including several of Genevieve Foster's books.

Caitlin is an avid reader and excellent writer and has studied a good deal of high school literature alongside her brother the last four years. So strangely enough this English teacher has had a question mark hanging over her head when it comes to what to do with Caitlin for English this year. I toyed with the idea of just reading stuff we like and I think to some extent that is what we will do: read a book together and discuss it. But someone recommended a book to me that upon investigation seems to have a lot of potential: Philosophy & Literature: Truth, Beauty, Goodness, Commitment. It is an older text that has recently made a comeback. I like the emphasis on reading literature as a means of meditating on the true and the good, and the table of contents is incredible. I doubt we will read the entire book but think there will be much of value that we can draw from it.

In addition to literature, Caitlin would like to spend a little more time on grammar, not because she needs it to became a good writer (she already is), but because with her interest in language she would like to better understand how English works. We did some grammar this summer but got bogged down with schedule demands so will be revisiting that goal. I'm thinking of using the latest rage in grammar study because of the author's fun and lighthearted approach. I'm an English teacher who loves grammar, but I am also the first to admit it's not the most exciting topic out there. The pleasure of grammar comes not so much from the learning of it but from the having learned it to the point that all the puzzle pieces start to fall into place. From what I've seen, Grammar Girl makes the learning part of the equation more fun.

Those are the big four: English, math, history and science. Last year we did some psychology, philosophy, geography and art history but have not exhausted the resources we have on those subjects so plan to return to all of them at various times during the year, most likely in rotation rather than all at once. In addition to her academics Caitlin will continue with Tae Kwon Do (she is now a brown belt), bowling, church choir, community choir, piano and voice lessons. As if all of that isn't enough, I have started thinking it might be nice to add a video component--something we can just sit back and watch and enjoy together without additional preparation and stress. I have always been interested in Francis Schaeffer's How Then Shall We Live video series and see now that it is available on DVD at a very reasonable price. So perhaps that is the ticket. (I must admit that part of me wants to watch it just to blow a raspberry at the liberals currently giving presidential candidate Michele Bachmann grief for speaking highly of Schaeffer.)

So there you have it: Philipp Nicolai Lutheran Academy's 2011-12 sophomore curriculum!

My Interesting Kid

2011-08-24T13:47:00.005-05:00

A few Evan stories, just so I record them for posterity.

Today as we were driving in the car he asked if we could roll the windows down. I said okay and of course he stuck his head out the window. But did he scream, laugh, or giggle with delight? No. Instead, my 7-year-old announced, "This is really enjoyable. When you go faster, it is even more intense."

When we got home he put his I Spy game on the computer. Did he do so in order to play the game? No. We have been playing our own version of I Spy around the house for several days now. He names the hidden items and I have to spy them. So, if we're not playing the computer game, why does he want it on? For the sound. He puts the game on the beach scene and turns the computer volume way up so as to hear the sound of the waves crashing on the beach. We have been listening to waves for a couple of days now. I am so tired of waves. This from a kid who said he didn't like Grenada and he never wants to go back there again. (I should add that he does like Lake Michigan because there is no salt.)

Then there is the television phobia. He has become seriously afraid of the television. We don't watch much TV. He has a few programs he likes, but he only watches them on DVD or with our cable provider's "on demand" service. If actual broadcast television is on he will not enter the room. He is terrified of the commercials (particularly one that is running right now that features zombies--it matters little to him that they are played for humorous effect) and what they might contain, so much so that he will not even walk by a room in which broadcast television is playing. He has to walk by his grandma's room to get to the garage to fill the dog's bowl with food, and lately I have to go with him to make sure there is nothing scary on Grandma's TV.

Yet he will watch Power Rangers with all its goofy monsters.

I guess even he knows camp when he sees it!

Blog Silence

2011-08-21T10:13:00.003-05:00

I'm still here. Really. But I've had much more important things to do lately than blog. We spent the week packing and then moving my son to the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, where he plans to be for the next four years, majoring in piano performance. This was our final look at him yesterday morning as he walked into his home away from home.

It was a wonderful week but a hard one. In time I will probably have some things to say about it. But for now I need to bring some order to the home front and help a few others in the house prepare for trips that they will be taking in the near future.

Blogging will return, so please stay tuned. Who knows--maybe some day I will even put some varnish on the Round Unvarnish'd Table.

Fall Schedule

2011-08-12T16:28:00.009-05:00

I'm doing this for myself, to get things straight in my head, but thought I would post it here for my friends who want to compare notes. The basic outline of our weekdays this fall will look something like this:

6:30-9:00 Mom time. Wake up, make coffee, eat breakfast, do morning chores and reading, exercise, and shower.

9:00-9:30 Wake up Evan

9:30-10:00 Devotion

10:00-11:30 School time - Direct interaction with Evan. Caitlin is independent in her schoolwork and I will consult with her on an as needed basis. Her dad teaches her French--I am not sure when they have decided to do that.

11:30-12:30 Free time for Evan

12:30-2:00 Lunch/quiet time/rest - Independent reading and listening for Evan; maybe a nap for me in there somewhere!

2:00-5:00 More school time if necessary, chores, activities for kids, piano students for me.

5:00-7:00 Prep supper, watch Fox News, eat, clean up.

7:00-9:00 Evening rehearsal several nights per week; otherwise, free time for kids or do any remaining studies/chores/tasks.

9:00-10:00 Help Evan get ready for bed, read, say prayers

Each day has some items that are specific to that day:

Monday

7:30-9:30 Geometry (Caitlin) at homeschool co-op; Dad home with Evan

1:30-3:30 Homeschool Bowling

4:00-5:00 Piano students

Tuesday

6:30-8:30 Chamber Singers (area youth choir) (Caitlin); I am hoping the times will line up to allow me to attend our church's Confessions Bible study while she is at choir

Wednesday

3:30-4:30 Schola Cantorum (children's choir) (Evan) at church

5:00-6:00 Piano students

Thursday

4:00-5:00 Piano students

7:00-9:00 Adult choir at church

Friday

1:00-3:00 Homeschool co-op--geometry lab for Caitlin; enrichment class (this fall it's a class about Australia) for Evan.

Saturday

11:30-12:30 Tae Kwon Do (Caitlin)

As I look over this schedule I am blown away by the reasonableness of it. In addition to the regular daily stuff listed above I will have periodic accompanying responsibilities at a local junior high school, but those wax and wane. So there are some crazy weeks here and there, but they pass and normalcy returns. I think back to a few years ago when we were homeschooling not two but three children and I was working part-time playing piano at a local high school that was a half hour's drive each way and Trevor was taking a college class in the opposite direction. I would wake up at 5:00 each morning to get to work by 7:00 and leave by 10:00 several days per week to drive to another town to pick Trevor up (his dad dropped him off) and bring him home. By the time I was home I felt like I had already done a full day's work and everything else was just getting started. I really don't know how we got through that year. Oh, yeah, we had a cleaning lady every two weeks. That was nice, but I would not trade this schedule for that one in a million years. I am SO looking forward to a normal schedule and home school life this year. I think the above leaves plenty of room for the occasional whirlwind trip to Nebraska, don't you? Another benefit of homeschooling is the ability to cancel school and take the student body to see their big brother whenever you darn well please. :-)

Back to School, Part 1: Addendum

2011-08-11T17:39:00.006-05:00

The P.E. conundrum has been resolved! My friend Anne commented on the previous post, letting me know of a homeschool bowling class in the area. Somehow I think a bowling class will suit Evan just fine.

Evan knocks 'em down! from Cheryl on Vimeo.

The above video was taken this summer, the first and only time Evan has bowled. We were all playing so did not use the bumpers and Evan threw mostly gutter balls, poor kid. This was his moment of glory! I expect the bowling class will make use of bumpers for the little kids. Caitlin will also take part in the class, which is open to all ages. It will be a fun way to spend our Monday afternoons.

In my previous post I neglected to include any mention of catechism or Bible study. I suppose that is because I don't really think of those things as school. They are life. We don't approach them as school subjects but instead incorporate them into our family devotions, which are led by my husband. Our primary materials are the Lutheran Study Bible (ESV), The Treasury of Daily Prayer published by Concordia Publishing House, Martin Luther's Small Catechism, and the Lutheran Service Book (our hymnal). For help with memorizing the catechism we also use Sing the Faith, which is the entire small catechism set to music (composed, by the way, by that aforementioned husband). One of the things I always did with my two oldest children that I have neglected with my youngest this past year is the reading of Bible stories. When my teenagers were little I read to them every night, and the reading usually consisted of a Bible story plus a few other story books of their choice. I have not been reading as regularly to Evan. He is often content to read on his own at night and I am so tired by the end of the day that I am often content to let him. It's not that I never read aloud to him, but I don't seem to do it as much as I did with the older ones, and that includes reading Bible stories. One of my goals this year is to return to that, if not at night before bed (when I am so tired), then during the day. The daily schedule is shaping out nicely for this year, so I will really have no excuse for not making this a priority!

More later on Caitlin's studies and what our weekly schedule is going to look like.

Back to School, Part 1

2011-08-06T08:06:00.010-05:00

In our relaxed, sometimes structured, sometimes unschooly sort of way, we practice year-round schooling. We don't make our lives fit an academic calendar; we make the academic calendar fit our lives, which means we "do" school whenever we can. But there comes a time in late July/early August when we just have to stop for a few weeks. (Other such times are the weeks before and after Christmas and Holy Week.)

We are wrapping up such a hiatus right now and gearing back up for a resumption of schoolish pursuits. And even though we study year-round, it always seems like this time of year gives us a fresh start. We decide which unfinished things we're going to try to finish and which ones we're just going to "punt" on. Various activities start afresh. The schedule adjusts accordingly, and the students mentally advance their grade level (although we don't put much stock in grade level designations).

This year, we have a student beginning his freshman year in college, another entering her sophomore year in high school, and a third entering second grade. This post is about that last one. He got the short end of the stick last year--we were undergoing a major home repair and some significant life changes--and I want to do a better job of feeding and watering his very fertile brain this year. In spite of last year's neglect, he is thriving academically, reading well beyond his years, adding and subtracting and multiplying with ease, and regaling me with all sorts of facts gleaned from his own reading. He loves maps and is fond of running to the one in our dining room to look up various places he hears mentioned in conversation. Sometimes I wonder if I really need to do anything to "teach" him, he's doing so well teaching himself. I guess I'm not really an unschooler because the answer to that is invariably yes. I still think there is great benefit in having a schedule and making a plan and intentionally pursuing certain subjects. We freely deviate from both schedule and plan, but I still like to have a framework and goals to enhance our productivity. Otherwise, the pajama days take over. (A pajama day here or there is a wonderful thing; a two-week succession of them, not so much.)

So, here for the curious is our plan for second grade, as it currently stands.

Writing and Language Arts

Zaner-Bloser Handwriting - 2M. Handwriting was probably the most neglected subject last year. We will use Zaner-Bloser to continue working on letter formation, manuscript only. Additional writing practice will occur in the language arts texts (see below) and in the copying of a weekly Bible memory verse.

Learning to Spell Through Copywork by Sandi Queen - I have had my head turned this year by the Queen Homeschool company, which produces curricula with an eye to the Charlotte Mason philosophy. I love the simplicity of the spelling lessons. Here's a photo of a two-page spread from Book A, the one we are going to use:

I think there is a lot of spelling overkill in public schools, but I also think there is a place for learning the basic spelling/phonics rules. And the benefit of this approach is that the child will be getting some nice handwriting practice and, through the copying of grammatical sentences, language practice as well.

Speaking of language, I also plan to use Queen's Language Lessons for the Very Young. Also in a Charlotte Mason style, it makes use of copywork combined with discussion of literature passages and works of art to develop language skills in a holistic way. (One of the things I hated most about English class in school was all the busy work in the form of grammar exercises that rarely make the leap into the student's writing.) I like that this book spends time on some basics like the days of the week and the months of the year (using the well known "Thirty days" poem), includes some classic children's rhymes like "Little Things" and "A Wise Old Owl," and teaches beginning language concepts like vowels and consonants without becoming laborious. There are 36 weeks worth of lessons divided into five lessons per week, and I think each lesson will take no more than about 10-15 minutes.

History

Basic text will be the first book, on ancient times, in Jessica Wise Bauer's Story of the World series for children. We used this series with my older children and now my 18yo son is reading through Bauer's companion series for adults. The children's book comes with various supportive materials--the only one I plan to use is the activity book, which contains maps and craft suggestions and various other activities and supplemental reading lists. Our bookshelves are pretty well stocked so I don't think I will have any trouble supplementing our history study with some good picture books and encyclopedias and historical fiction. We may have to skip the mummies this time around, though. Evan has a low tolerance for creepy stuff.

Science

We will not be using a curriculum for science. I don't see a need. Again, we have built up quite a library from our homeschooling years, and I think between the Magic School Bus series and the Scholastic Question-and-Answer Series and the Random House Step-Up books, plus several science experiment collections I have, we can do science. The one additional source that has caught my eye is the Burgess Thornton Animal and Bird books from Yesterday's Classics.

Math

Last year we hardly cracked a math book, and yet Evan seems to be doing fine with basic math facts. Again, even though I think a great deal of math can be learned through life, I think some structured math study is worthwhile if only for practicing how to form the numbers and recognize math symbols and such. This year we are going to use Singapore Math. We used it two years ago for kindergarten on an oral basis only. I like the simplicity of it and the lack of excessive written drill. If I think we need to drill something more I can do it myself. Probably in the next year or two we will switch to either Teaching Textbooks or Saxon, but I think Singapore will serve us well this year. I reserve the right to skip any lesson I deem unnecessary.

Other Stuff

Evan has been taking piano lessons from me and that will continue. This year he will join the children's choir at church. (Yay! Can't wait! I haven't had a singer in the children's choir for a few years.) We used to subscribe to God's World News but I don't like it much anymore now that it has gone from a weekly to a monthly. So we will leave the current events teaching to Dad's inspiration. Dad will also take over chess instruction from Trevor, who won't be around to do it this year. Evan is so far not showing the aptitude for chess that Trevor did, but the goal is not to create another chess champion but simply to sharpen thinking skills, and chess definitely does that!

The question mark is physical education. We have not had great success with formal instruction or classes. Evan took swimming lessons last year (or was it the year before that) and in the first week there was a different teacher every day. Finally a lovely young lady with a male crewcut and several facial rings showed up to teach and he refused to participate anymore. We have also had difficulty with organized sports and P.E. classes that have any sort of competitive play. He doesn't like to be chased or tagged or called "out," and he doesn't like to lose. I know this is a phase he will eventually outgrow, but at this point I'm not sure if we're ready to take another chance on paying for something that will be a bust.

Have I left anything out? (That is not a rhetorical question. Please tell me, as I very well may have!)

Parts 2 and 3 in this series will address school plans for my other two children.

Girls' Night Out

2011-07-31T08:24:00.004-05:00

I went to a rock concert Friday night. A friend and I took our daughters to see Owl City. Owl City is actually Adam Young, a young man from Owatonna, Minnesota, who started recording electronic music in his parents' basement because he couldn't sleep. His personal story is interesting. He began uploading music onto his MySpace account, developed a huge following, began selling songs on iTunes, and was eventually discovered and signed to a recording contract. He does not bill himself as a Christian artist but he does not downplay his Christianity and it comes through naturally in his music and on his blog. The song "Galaxies" on his most recent CD All Things Bright and Beautiful was inspired by the Challenger space shuttle disaster and contains these lyrics:

Dear God, I was terribly lost
When the galaxies crossed
And the sun went dark.
Dear God, You're the only North Star
I would follow this far.

Oh telescope,
Keep your eye on my only hope,
Lest I blink and be swept off the narrow road,
Hercules, you've got nothing to say to me,
'Cause you're not the blinding light that I need.
For He is the saving grace of the galaxies.
(Galaxies, galaxies, galaxies, galaxies)
He is the saving grace of the galaxies.

In the concert this song was preceded by a recording of President Ronald Reagan's televised remarks to the nation after the disaster. I doubt I will ever attend another rock concert where that occurs.

My daughter has been an Owl City/Adam Young fan for some time now. I have only listened to a few of his songs. But I am impressed by her taste and discrimination in music. The poetry is compelling and the music fresh and enjoyable. Although the recorded music is computer-based, the live shows are not: the live band included piano, keyboard, drums, guitar, cello and violin. My friend remarked that the music is the type that that makes you feel good--light and uplifting, not dark and depressing. And I was terribly impressed by this concert. The venue was a smaller one--the Aragon Ballroom in Chicago (here's some fun history)--and the ticket price was incredibly reasonable: $28 for general admission, standing room only (there was some second level balcony seating for special guests and, I assume, those who could pay higher prices, but most of us either stood or sat on the floor). Owl City is quite a phenomenon but is not yet commanding huge venues and astronomical ticket prices. At the concert Adam repeatedly--repeatedly--told the audience how much he appreciated their support. It seemed sincere. I think he really is amazed and appreciative at what he has wrought. There was nothing objectionable in the entire show--no dirty jokes, no foul language, nothing. The affection between singer and audience was obvious. The concertgoers were well-behaved and there was no smoking of any kind (thanks in part to the tight security at the Aragon). The predominant age group was high school/college, but there were some oldsters like us there as well as some families with young children. And, although some might disagree, the volume was not painfully loud. (I have suffered through painfully loud, and this was not it.)

Here's the song that propelled Owl City to platinum status:

And here's a picture of my daughter and her friend listening to "Fireflies" at the concert.

Acolyte Picnic

2011-07-27T14:30:00.006-05:00

For many years my husband's responsibilities as cantor have included overseeing our congregation's St. Andrew Society. The St. Andrew Society is a group of junior high and high school students who volunteer their time to serve as acolytes for our worship services. Some churches require this work of their Confirmation students; neither our current church nor our former one, which also had a St. Andrew Society, do so. We find that if the acolytes are convinced of the value of their work they will willingly and joyfully serve. When they become high school students they are designated as senior acolytes and receive a special cross to reflect that distinction. Many of our acolytes continue serving until they graduate from high school.

Yesterday was our annual St. Andrew Society "picnic." Somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 acolytes turned out. The day was rather bittersweet for our family in that it was the last one that Trevor will participate in as an acolyte (he is going to college) and will also likely be the last one my husband will plan. Our congregation is in the process of calling a third pastor, and the job description for his position includes heading up the St. Andrew Society. So my husband will no longer be doing so as that responsibility passes from him to someone else.

Because I think my husband does such fine work with our acolytes, and because it was the last time Trevor and Caitlin will be together in the St. Andrew Society, I thought to take some photos of the day.

This is called "Acolyte Jeopardy." Notice the categories. As in real Jeopardy, contestants (in this case playing on teams) pick a category and an amount. They get an "answer" for which they have to provide the question.

A sample "answer." Do you know the "question"?

The day included a time of teaching, prayer and reflection in the place where the acolytes' work is done.

There were also "wacky acolyte games." This one is a race to see who can change a taper faster. (The more experienced of these two won.)

And yes, there was feasting. The menu is the same every year: fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, cole slaw, biscuits, and of course, dessert.

Gym and free time! The day was topped off with a water balloon fight--I didn't get pictures of that one. As usual, there was one wet cantor when it was all over.

Trevor and Caitlin will acolyte together one more time in August. The following week Trevor leaves for college. Sometime this fall, God willing, we will welcome our new pastor, and my husband will pass the leadership of the St. Andrew Society on to him. Just a few more of the "lasts" we are experiencing this year that we pray will turn into some wonderful "firsts."

"We must risk being taken in, if we are to get anything"

2011-07-25T22:29:00.006-05:00

From C. S. Lewis, An Experiment in Criticism

I have also refrained from describing the sort of reading I approve as 'critical reading'. The phrase . . . seems to me deeply misleading. I said in an earlier chapter that we can judge any sentence or even word only by the work it does or fails to do. The effect must precede the judgement on the effect. The same is true of a whole work. Ideally, we must receive it first and then evaluate it. Otherwise, we have nothing to evaluate. Unfortunately this ideal is progressively less and less realised the longer we live in a literary profession or in literary circles. It occurs, magnificently, in young readers. At a first reading of some great work, they are 'knocked flat'. Criticise it? No, by God, but read it again. The judgement 'This must be a great work' may be long delayed. But in later life we can hardly help evaluating as we go along; it has become a habit. We thus fail of that inner silence, that emptying out of ourselves, by which we ought to make room for the total reception of the work. The failure is greatly aggravated if, while we read, we know that we are under some obligation to express a judgement; as when we read a book in order to review it, or a friend's MS, in order to advise him. Then the pencil gets to work on the margin and phrases of censure or approval begin forming themselves in our mind. All this activity impedes reception.

For this reason I am very doubtful whether criticism is a proper exercise for boys and girls. A clever schoolboy's reaction to his reading is most naturally expressed by parody or imitation. The necessary condition of all good reading is 'to get ourselves out of the way'; we do not help the young to do this by forcing them to keep on expressing opinions. Especially poisonous is the kind of teaching which encourages them to approach every literary work with suspicion. It springs from a very reasonable motive. In a world full of sophistry and propaganda, we want to protect the rising generation from being deceived, to forearm them against the invitations to false sentiment and muddled thinking which printed words will so often offer them. Unfortunately, the very same habit which makes them impervious to the bad writing may make them impervious also to the good. The excessively 'knowing' rustic who comes to town too well primed with warnings against coney-catchers does not always get on very well; indeed, after rejecting much genuine friendliness, missing many real opportunities and making several enemies, he is quite likely to fall a victim to some trickster who flatters his 'shrewdness'. So here. No poem will give up its secret to a reader who enters it regarding the poet as a potential deceiver, and determined not to be taken in. We must risk being taken in, if we are to get anything. The best safeguard against bad literature is a full experience of good; just as a real and affectionate acquaintance with honest people gives a better protection against rogues than a habitual distrust of everyone.

It's An Acquired Smell

2011-07-25T10:50:00.001-05:00

Today we had some friends stop by for breakfast--a pastor and his wife and their four children, ages (roughly) 8 months, almost 3, 6 (I think), and 10. They are on the road for vacation and it was an opportunity for our families to get together. Some of you who read here may know the mom as "Untamed Shrew." :-)

Anyway, we were all sitting around the breakfast table when Evan, my 7-year-old, announced, "I don't like that smell."

"What smell?" I asked.

"I don't know. That smell."

All I could smell was breakfast: biscuits and gravy, crock pot egg/ham/cheese casserole, cinnamon cake and coffee, so I asked, "Is it something we're eating? All I smell is the food."

"No. . . . I think it's babies."

LOL!

I told him that some day when he has his own babies he will love how they smell and that when he was a baby I used to want to smell him all the time.

"I know. But I'm not a daddy yet. I have to grow up and get married and have a wife before I'll like how babies smell."

Touché!

Sending a Kid to College

2011-07-23T17:31:00.006-05:00

I always knew the day would come, but there was a part of me that didn't believe it. And now it's almost here. In about 3-1/2 weeks I will send my firstborn to college. In another state. Eight hours (plus stops) away.

I am actually feeling pretty good about it. Six months ago I was panicking over the prospect, but right now I am just so proud and excited that I think those emotions are overshadowing the sadness. We are keeping busy planning and preparing and I am trying not to think about that moment we hug him and actually drive away. But every once in a while it does creep into my mind and I momentarily lose my composure. It usually seems to happen when I'm alone, such as while taking a shower or driving in the car.

Anyway, in getting the college guy ready I have consulted several sources, including the school he is going to, a number of friends, and the Bed, Bath & Beyond store (they actually have lists tailored for most schools and they are happy to give you one when you stop in to shop). Below is the exhaustive list I have come up with based on all of those recommendations. My son will not have need of everything on the list--it would be too much!--but I thought I would include it here for anyone else who has a son or daughter going off to college in the near future. This list, of course, is intended for young people who will live in a dorm. Someone who is going to live in an apartment will need even more (and someone who is living at home won't need nearly so much).

I would be interested to hear any items you can think of that are not on this list!

Hangers

Dishes/Utensils, dish soap, dish towel

Snacks/drinks

Cleaning supplies: Clorox wipes, Swiffer, air freshener (also supplies for bathroom if the room has its own), hand broom/vac

Fridge

Microwave

Laundry supplies – hamper/basket/bag, soap, spot treatment, dryer sheets, quarters, iron, ironing board

Shower caddy, shower shoes/slippers, robe

Towels – bath & swim

Over-the-door towel rack/hooks

Bedding (check with college for bed size) – mattress pad, sheets, blanket, bedspread, pillows, pillow protectors

Laptop

Small printer

Flash drive

Cell phone

TV

Alarm clock

Music player

Rug

Chair

Photos/posters/room decorations

Desk supplies – stapler, pencil sharpener, paper clips, push pins, rubber bands, paper, pens/pencils, ruler, calculator, scissors, highlighter, tape, glue, white-out, desk-top caddy, drawer organizer, bookends, desk lamp, white board and/or bulletin board, trash can

Tissue/Paper towels

Stationery/envelopes/stamps

Stacking crates/cubes/chest for storage

Fan

Earplugs/Sleep mask

Extension cords

Nail clippers, tweezers

First aid kit – bandages, antibiotic cream, anti-itch cream, painkiller, cough/throat drops, Pepto-Bismol/antacid/ Immodium, antihistamine (Benadryl)/decongestant, vitamins, melatonin, hand sanitizer, thermometer

Small appliances: Hot pot/coffee-maker/crock pot/popcorn maker/hot plate

Humidifier

Can opener

Local honey from the area you are moving to—start taking months before

Water bottle

Backpack

Umbrella

Sewing kit

Mirror

Netflix streaming subscription

Under bed storage

Shoe storage

Tool kit or Multi-tool (like this)

Oodles of socks and underwear!

Telephone/Address Book/List of important dates

Local bank account

Credit card

Phone to plug in if there’s a land line

Light bulbs

Batteries

Smart pen

Book light

Flash light

Lock box for cash/important papers

Money management software for computer

Planner

And of course—clothing, toiletries, personal belongings

Measuring Our Words and Those of Others

2011-07-19T21:48:00.010-05:00

Rebekah has a thought-provoking post at the CSPP blog right now. It reminds me of this one I wrote a few months ago. I think both posts make the point that when it comes to that thing we call "best construction" we can be decidedly selective in how we apply it. We will move heaven and earth to read the words and actions of our friends in the best possible light but when it comes to those about whom our feelings are more, shall we say, ambivalent, we don't always look for the most positive "spin." With our friends, we readily tolerate, turn the other cheek, forgive, and explain away whatever we must to maintain harmony, but with those we feel less charitable towards we are sadly inclined to look for offense.

The question, then, is what to do? The theme of my post linked above is taken from a story my husband tells his music students: "just play." In other words, don't worry about how you are going to be perceived because no matter how you play your friends will cheer you and your detractors will point out what you did wrong. I think it's good advice. I have a problem with caring too much about what other people think--about me, about my family, about my church--and I am working on that and realizing there is not much I can do about it--they will think what they will think, regardless of what I do, whether it's based in reality or not. But I also think when it comes to internet communication there are things we can all do to make it more likely that our interactions will be positive. We have all experienced online disagreements, both those handled well and those handled poorly, and if we are honest with ourselves we have at various times contributed to both. Of course, there are some people who seem incapable of the former and who always do the latter, and they are the ones we learn to avoid at all costs because when we disagree with them we will invariably have our heads handed to us on platters. But most people are more reasonable than that, and since we do so much communicating on the internet these days, isn't it worth our time to take the extra care that we can rather than toss words out thoughtlessly and carelessly, putting the onus on others to read them in the right way and pleading "you are so sensitive" and "you can't take a joke" when they don't?

Now certainly, big boys and girls should be able to disagree on matters of principle without getting mad at one another. And they do--I see it done well all the time. So what is it that turns a difference of opinion into something in which at least one person has taken offense? Usually it's because the difference of opinion has somehow become personalized. So the question is how to keep that from happening?

The best way to do that is to keep the focus on the substance of the disagreement. You like Mac and I like PC and we ought to be able have a discussion about it and go on peacefully coexisting. However, if the substance of the disagreement is akin to "Your daddy is lazy and your mama is fat and you all go to a stupid church" it's probably time to walk away from the discussion. :-) You can ask for clarification, but if the same thing comes back a second time you will have to decide if you want to argue the point (probably not advisable) or just let it go (bingo!).

If, however, you decide to continue a discussion in which there is a substantive disagreement, the avoiding of offense usually boils down not to the "what" of our words but the "how" of them. And therein lies the challenge. It's that elusive thing called "tone" that is easy to hear in speech but hard to pin down in writing. Certainly it can be identified--as a writer and teacher I would not argue otherwise--but it can also be easily misinterpreted, especially when one is predisposed to do so. This is where Rebekah's point about the hearer comes in. If we feel secure with the other person, if we feel trusting, if there is a friendship there, we tend to hear the words one way. If the person is someone we don't know or like or trust, we are more likely to hear the words in another way. I don't know how to get around that--it's just the way it is. But it is why, more and more, I question the use of sarcasm and snark and the like in written communication, especially communication that we intend to be substantive. It is just so easily misread. If we are really interested in meaningful communication leading to understanding, our words need to be chosen with the utmost of care and delivered with the greatest level of reasoned objectivity that we can muster. We should avoid what is known in the study of rhetoric as "loaded" language--words with high emotional content. And as hearers, we need to take time and care and go above and beyond in trying to understand one another. We need to ask, "Did you mean to say?" and withhold hasty judgments and turn the other cheek and proceed in caution and gentleness at all times.

All easy to say but harder to do. Here are some examples of utterances that are not conducive to achieving understanding, followed by suggested alternatives that keep the focus on the subject at hand rather than redirecting it to the individuals involved:

If someone says something you find surprising, don't say "You have got to be kidding" or "You should have your head examined" or "It's sad to see that some people still believe that silly notion." Instead say, "That surprises me [focus on you, not the other person]. Why do you think that?"

If someone appears to be getting worked up, don't say "Clearly I have touched a nerve." It sounds like you are enjoying feeling as though you have the upper hand. Instead, just continue in as calm a manner possible. Maybe the other person isn't getting worked up at all. Maybe you have misread the situation. But if emotions are starting to run high, you may be able to diffuse them by not calling attention to the fact and by remaining humble and carrying on as reasonably as possible.

If someone mentions a book or movie or song you can't abide, don't say, "You're reading/watching/listening to/singing that piece of crud?" Instead say "That's not my preference" or "I'm not sure about that. Why do you like it?"

If someone says, "I don't understand" don't belittle him for not understanding something that you think everyone ought to easily grasp. Ask, "What don't you understand?" and then try to explain it to him.

If someone expresses dislike/disapproval for something you are fond of (a certain fashion, perhaps, or maybe a particular decorating theme), don't take it personally. Sometimes I see people wear things to church that I would never wear or decorate their homes with items I would never choose. It doesn't mean I dislike them or think less of them for the choice they have made. We have a difference of opinion about what is appropriate or attractive. We can still be friends (as long as I don't attack their choice derisively by saying one of the phrases above!).

Realize that, ultimately, criticizing someone's tone is a red herring. That's not to say tone doesn't matter--we should all aim for the highest possible level of discourse. But once you have leveled a charge of "I don't like your tone" you are abandoning the substance of the argument and turning your attention to its execution. Perhaps that is what you want to do. But it is a different issue from the one at hand.

Finally, this may run counter to what you might think, but with the advent of more and more written communication I think people tend to go overboard in their efforts to lend expression to their words through the use of capital letters and punctuation and colorful turns of phrase. My advice, if you are communicating with someone you don't have an extremely close relationship with, or if you find yourself disagreeing online with anyone at all, is to err on the side of less, rather than more, expressiveness. Be formal rather than informal and objective rather than subjective. If you truly want to come to understanding and a harmonious ending, make every possible effort to inoculate your words against misunderstanding. Exclamation points, capital letters, and colorful expressions draw attention to you and your personal voice rather than keeping the focus on the subject at hand and are as a result generally not helpful.

It's an internet jungle out there. It truly is, and hiding behind every tree is a wild animal waiting to pounce or some quicksand ready to suck you in. If at all possible, when you sense danger turn around and go the other way. It is possible to come out alive, but realize if you venture in that you probably won't completely escape injury. But with some care you can minimize the risk to both yourself and others and along the way you may encounter enough beauty to make the trip worthwhile.

Giving Children the Best

2011-07-16T11:54:00.009-05:00

My church held its summer Vacation Bible School this week. I helped out with the music. Our theme hymn for the week was Lutheran Service Book #666 (yes, that is the number), "O Little Flock, Fear Not the Foe." Below is a short video I took of our Associate Cantor going over the words of the hymn with one of the groups of children we worked with (there were four groups in all that we saw each day). By this time the children had memorized the first two stanzas of the hymn and we were in review mode. To aid in reviewing the words, I drew some pictures on the chalkboard to serve as memory triggers--one picture per phrase of the hymn.

Teaching "O Little Flock, Fear Not the Foe" from Cheryl on Vimeo.

This is not what many would call an "easy" hymn. It is in a minor key. The text is rich in doctrinal teaching. But the children embraced this hymn and by the last day of VBS were requesting it as one of their favorites from the week. My 7-year-old has been humming it nonstop since VBS finished. I think this is a great illustration of the truth that children, like all people, love what they are taught to love. They embrace what their parents and teachers embrace. And they develop an appetite for what they are fed on a regular basis. I'm glad my church is feeding them the best.

Here are the children singing the hymn at the closing chapel service yesterday. The piano accompaniment was arranged by my husband. The little guy in red in the front row is Evan.

P.S. Somehow in editing the video I looped back so that the second stanza of the hymn plays twice. Don't know how I did that but I'm not going to fix it. :-)

"O Little Flock, Fear Not the Foe" from Cheryl on Vimeo.

Fun Facebook Games

2011-07-08T08:21:00.003-05:00

This is from a pastor friend of mine. I respect him for all sorts of reasons, most recently what he has taught me about Facebook. Thank you, Pastor Cwirla, for helping me put things into perspective.

Pastor Cwirla's Fun Facebook Games, or How Not to Take Facebook Too Seriously

#10: Instigate endless threads. Award prizes for milestones such as the 1000th comment.

#9: Defriend someone who insults a friend of a friend of a friend of yours. Relive those great junior-high social dynamics.

#8: "Like" posts and comments you obviously disagree with. The parliamentary version of this game is speaking for motions you actually intend to vote against.

#7: Respond to every post as though it were written about you. Narcissism is self-rewarding.

#6: Pick an arbitrary friend and "like" every comment on his or her wall for a month regardless of content. Creepy but very affirming.

#5: Post a link to your recent brilliant blog, then defriend everyone who doesn't like it. Easy way to trim down that bloated friends list.

#4: Hijack every thread and turn it into a discussion on bacon.

#3: Post a snarky comment and then get offended because everyone is offended. Embrace the passive-aggressive beast within.

#2: Make a post on how people waste too much time on Facebook. Revel in the irony.

#1: Ask for an opinion on something and then tell everyone why they're wrong. Epic fun.

Facebook Thoughts

2011-07-08T07:19:00.003-05:00

A few days ago I read this article on National Review Online:

"Ages Apart"

It concerns increasing age stratification in our culture and the long-term effect it is having on us. One of the areas the author considers is online communication: social networks, texting, email and such. He provocatively compares Facebook, specifically, to C. S. Lewis' description of Hell in his book The Great Divorce:

Lewis envisioned that the damned suffer not a fire, or any physical torment or confinement, but absolute dominion and inalienable rights: the liberty to roam an infinite and borderless land, and to freely and instantaneously build castles wherever they like.

Lewis’s damned enjoy this freedom by abandoning locations and acquaintances the moment they become inconvenient. The awkwardness of an exchange with a neighbor we think has slighted us can, in Lewis’s Hell, be evaded by simply moving away. So after a few years’ stay in Hell, each of the damned is thousands of miles away from any other, pacing solitarily in his castle.

The political moral is that unchosen obligations, restraints, and dependencies are the things that push people together, despite our irritableness and our inconvenience to each other. Our limitations and inadequacies counter our selfish bent, and become a foundation for community. (Lewis’s cosmic allegory, then, doubles as theodicy, showing how it can be good for us that we do not always get what we want, and are sick and feeble.)

We’ve been making Lewis’s Hell for ourselves for a long time, expanding autonomies in ways that cause social separateness in general, and generational separateness in particular. . . .

Facebook appears to have been modeled on [it]. It is the acme of modernized society, allowing us unrestrained control over our relationships — we literally choose the face that others see, and can start or end a friendship by tapping a finger. These friendships never become inconvenient, because no obligation can impose itself through the digital medium. The irony of Facebook, and of modernity’s expansion of social autonomy generally, is that total, unlimited cosmopolitanism in the end produces more parochialism, homogenization, and even chauvinism than geographical confinement does: I can now commune with people all over the world of all nationalities and tongues and races who are just like me. As human interactions become less contingent on geography, and more on the preferences of digital cosmopolites, communities became more horizontal — incorporating similar kinds of people across broad territories — and less vertical.

When I read this I found myself objecting in part. I have all kinds of people in my Facebook friends list, from all age groups and walks of life. I will admit it is heavy on the Republican and homeschooling and Lutheran fronts. :-) But Facebook has allowed me to create connections with many people I would otherwise have not been able to connect with. It has enlarged my world by giving me a peek into the days of others, many of whom are leading lives very different from mine. I live in the Chicago suburbs but I have Facebook friends who live on farms and ranches, in small towns and big cities, overseas, even in third world countries. So I think Facebook gives me a broader picture of the world than I would otherwise have. And when I think about all those people out there, living their lives, carrying out their vocations just as I am, I find comfort in it. I kind of like knowing they're out there, drinking their cups of coffee, enjoying time with their families, going to their respective churches on Sunday. So I would say that my Facebook experience has overall been positive as I have learned and laughed and prayed and been prayed for by others.

And yet . . . .

I think what Mr. Shaffer says also has great merit. Facebook is not the real world and if we aren't careful it can skew our perceptions of how human beings should relate to each other. I worry that as people, especially young people, spend more and more time there, they may be learning behaviors on Facebook that they will end up applying in real life, behaviors that are not realistic and that are, in fact, harmful.

So here for whoever is interested is a list of suggestions for not letting Facebook get the best of you. I am really writing this for my children. It is not my place to tell others how to behave on the internet. But it is my place to guide my children and to help them learn from my experience. I have experienced some unpleasantness on Facebook and I would like to help them avoid that if possible and also encourage them to comport themselves in a way that doesn't cause unpleasantness for others.

Facebook - A User's Guide

1) Decide what purpose you want Facebook to fill for you and behave accordingly.

For some Facebook is a playground. For others it is all about business. For still others it is a way to keep in touch with close family and friends or a place to advocate for a particular cause. It could be all of these things at the same time, so it is worth deciding what role you want Facebook to play in your online life and then carrying out that decision in a way that is respectful towards others. If a church member sends you a friend request but you prefer to limit Facebook to business contacts, send a polite note back explaining that policy. If you want to limit Facebook only to those people you know in person, and someone you only know online friends you, again, send a polite explanation. If you daily spout right-wing politics and a family member that you know is quite liberal sends you a friend request, write back and explain the situation and suggest that if you become friends the two of you will avoid posting on each other's walls on political topics. Most people will understand and respect the boundaries you have set up and thank you for explaining them.

2) Keep in mind your audience. This follows logically from #1. For most people, talking on Facebook is akin to standing up and talking about yourself in church. Some of the people who are reading are your closest and best friends, while others are casual friends and others are peripheral acquaintances or near strangers, especially if, like me, you have a broad friending policy. You should not put your most personal "stuff" on Facebook for all to see. What is helpful here is Facebook's apparatus for creating sub-groups within your friend list. That way you can send family related posts to family, church-related posts to those in your church body, and political rants to those who are interested in reading them. Also, if you are going to post something that you think will be a "hot button" or sensitive topic for someone in your friend list, you can block him or her from that particular status update. Why cause that person or yourself grief? It is worth taking a little extra time to preserve some tranquility.

3) Think before you post. Post things that you think will be useful, informative, interesting, entertaining, edifying, and helpful. Try not to be a downer. Everyone occasionally does a little whining on Facebook, and it's a nice place to get encouragement from friends when you're having a rough day, but a steady stream of angry, snarky, complaining and negative posts gets old and ultimately reflects poorly on you. Don't give people a reason to hide you from their news feed.

4) Show good manners. Be ladies and gentlemen. Know when to walk away--it is okay to let someone else have the last word and it doesn't mean you "lost" the debate. Don't use foul language. Avoid posting potty humor, dirty jokes, R-rated pictures, and the like. People have different levels of tolerance for that sort of thing and again, the things you post say something about you. And there is no such thing as a "back" key on the internet. Once it's out there, it's out there. And once you have hurt someone's feelings, the damage has been done.

5) Don't put your dirty laundry on display for all to see. People do not need to know the details of your latest huge fight and breakup (or reconciliation) with your boyfriend or girlfriend. I'm not saying it's wrong to talk about your life--I certainly do it--but use some common sense and maintain a little dignity.

6) Avoid vague-booking. This is not to say that you have to provide every detail of everything you choose to share. But posting cryptic messages that no one or only a handful of people will understand or posting updates that will cause people to worry about you unnecessarily is a childish way of making you feel powerful because you are in the know and your reader is not.

7) Don't be passive aggressive. This can take many forms. It might be as simple as posting something like "Thinking of weeding out my friend list." If you want to weed out your friend list, fine. But why talk about? Just do it and spare your friends the grief of wondering, "Is she talking about me? Did I do something to offend her?" Another form of passive-aggressiveness is taking a veiled swipe at someone in your friend list that other people might not get but the target probably will. Now, it is possible that you will make a comment that someone will take as a slap when you didn't mean it that way. That's not your fault. But please don't consciously say something that, if understood, may hurt someone's feelings. It's just mean.

8) Avoid playing the blocking/unfriending game. It reeks of junior high and whether they admit it or not, hurts people's feelings, even if they don't know you well. It is only human to take such things personally. So be kind. If you end up friends with someone that is annoying but not dangerous, try hiding him or her from your news feed. You can also use this strategy for keeping your news feed of a manageable scope. But consider using that annoying person as an opportunity to practice tolerance, forbearance, and overlooking. Maybe in time you will find he or she is not as annoying as you thought. Maybe the inconvenience of being that person's friend will turn into a blessing. God does work in strange ways! If you must unfriend someone send a note explaining why and make the note about you rather than the other person: "I just don't have time to keep up with my contact list and I'm trying to narrow down to only my family and very closest friends" or "You make me uncomfortable but it's because of something I'm going through, nothing that you are doing." And don't block people for trivial reasons. It is simply immature.

9) If someone is truly harassing, stalking or threatening you, don't think twice about unfriending or blocking him. Your safety is paramount.

10) If someone blocks or unfriends you, think long and hard before you ask why. If you think you may have committed an offense against that person, by all means, ask forgiveness. But if you are puzzled by the action, it may be best to just let it go because it probably has less to do with you than with the other person. If you do ask, prepare for the worst. You may get it.

11) Remember that Facebook is all about perception. The "people" you see there are not complete people. They are snapshots in time. You may have a fuller picture of some of them by virtue of having relationships that go beyond Facebook. But the picture you get on Facebook (or other online forums) is a tiny, tiny part of a person's identify and life. Try not to make judgments based on one or even a few posts. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Put the best construction on their words. Ask for clarification. Measure your own responses. Avoid sarcasm--it is so often misunderstood--and express yourself with earnestness and sincerity.

12) If it seems like Facebook World is bringing out the worst in you or otherwise causing you distress, take a break from it. It is not real life. There are all kinds of people out there who don't "do" Facebook. Go read Pastor Cwirla's list of "Silly Facebook Games" (see next post) and put it all in perspective. Don't let Facebook make you sad.

In short, instead of trying to turn Facebook (and the like) into an ideal virtual paradise of which you are the supreme ruler with the power to condemn those whom you find annoying, strange or inconvenient, look upon it as a microcosm of the real world, one in which there are all kinds of people who are sinners just as you are, struggling to get through their days just as you are, and in need of love and acceptance just as you are. Block and unfriend, as a last resort, those who are harassing you, who are an obvious threat, or who are tempting you to sinful behavior. Otherwise look at Facebook as big tent, one that causes you to moderate your own comments in light of the broad audience and that expands your world by giving you more people to love. Even if you can't love them all in a one-on-one way, you can love them all in your prayers. You can love them by being open to them and tolerant of them. And you can love them by modeling good behavior and a generous heart and spirit.

Real Men

2011-07-03T13:58:00.004-05:00

Today at church a friend presented me with a bright pink gift bag. She explained that the bag contained a high school graduation gift for my son and then smiled and with a twinkle in her eye said, "Tell him I'm sorry for the pink. It was the only bag I could find." Of course I told her not to worry about it.

After lunch I gave the bag to my son and passed along my friend's words, to which my husband responded, "Trevor is man enough to handle pink." Suddenly, Evan, my 7-year-old, popped up and, brandishing the pink ice pop that he was eating, said, "I'm man enough to handle pink, too!" We all got a chuckle out of that but the even bigger chuckle came when, without missing a beat, Evan turned to my husband and in all seriousness asked, "Dad, are you man enough to handle pink?"

LOL!

(And for the record, the answer is yes. My husband loves his pink ties.)

A Fourth of July Prayer

2011-07-02T23:09:00.005-05:00

Tonight at church my husband and I played an organ/piano arrangement of the Navy hymn, "Eternal Father, Strong to Save." Here is that recording with the words of the hymn. We are all in peril on the vast sea of life, but God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is strong to save and will never leave nor forsake us. A blessed Fourth of July to you and yours.

Eternal Father, Strong to Save from Cheryl on Vimeo.

Hymn by William Whiting, Tune by John Dykes

Recorded at the Evening Service, Bethany Lutheran Church, July 2, 2011

Cheryl Magness, piano

Phillip Magness, organ

Arr. by David Schwoebel

Proverbs 31 Women, Revisited

2011-06-27T11:38:00.005-05:00

Last year at about this time I wrote a blog post called "A Proverbs 31 Woman." Here it is.

Recently on Facebook that post received renewed attention. It was discussed by someone who blocked me from the discussion and who further refused to allow a link to the post to be included on the thread. That same person alluded to my post on his blog here. I am the writer who is said to have "virtually laugh[ed] off Proverbs 31 . . . saying that text does not really apply to individuals but is really about Christ and the Church."

Since I could not participate in the discussion on Facebook and since I am not allowed to comment on the above writer's blog (or at least have been rejected enough times in the past that I no longer wish to try), I must defend myself here. Please notice that the author quoted above says that I "virtually" laughed off Proverbs 31. That is an interesting qualifier, providing the writer an out. But the truth is that while yes, there was humor in the post, it was self-deprecating humor, laughing at myself. I do not laugh at God's Word. I am a poor, miserable sinner and I neglect it and daily fail to follow it perfectly. But it is my only hope in this world. So I take seriously this accusation and hereby refute it. "I am not ashamed of the Gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes." (Romans 1:16)

The blogger includes me in a group of examples of what he says illustrate an "aversion to sanctification caused by phobic allergic reaction to any talk about good works." I fail to see how my blog post illustrates that phenomenon. The point of the blog post was not to discount good works. As I have been catechized by several dear, faithful Lutheran pastors over the past 25 years, I believe that good works flow from the new man (or woman) in Christ. I am called to keep God's Law perfectly, but because I was dead in my sin and unable to do so God sent His Son to live the perfect life for me and then to go to the cross to pay the price for my sins. I look to Christ Crucified and see that my sin put Him there, and I am devastated, crushed by guilt. But then my Saviour extends to me forgiveness and the gift of faith, and as His love is poured into me it flows right back out again in the form of good works--not of my doing, but of His. "I can do all things through Him Who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)

Regarding the charge that I claimed the passage did not apply to individuals: that is nowhere stated. To state that I see one thing (a picture of Christ and His church) in the blog post is not to discount other things that may be there. In fact, as I go line by line through the passage, showing how I fail to measure up, what am I doing if not applying it to myself? Am I not an individual?

A year has passed since I wrote that post and if I were to write it today I would probably change one thing. I concluded in the post that Proverbs 31 is gospel. But as illustrated by the examples of all the ways I do not succeed at being a Proverbs 31 woman, it is also law. So I should have said it is both. And isn't that pretty much the case with all of God's Word? It kills us with Law and then brings us back to life with Gospel. And in our new life in Christ, we go forth in joy, sharing His love by proclaiming what He has done and gladly serving those He places before us.

As I wrote last year, I sometimes hear women, Christian friends of mine, despairing of their ability to be Proverbs 31 women. They want to be, but they are beaten down by their sin and overwhelmed by life and they are tired, so very tired. The purpose of the blog post was nothing else but to encourage those dear ladies, to tell them that far from being discouraged by the passage they should find comfort in it because while they might not feel like Proverbs 31 women, they are. In Christ they are! And what else would they want to be? They are clothed in the spotless robe of Christ, adorned by the beautiful jewels of His righteousness, equipped to do excellently while their works praise them in the gates.

Reflets dans l'eau - Debussy

2011-06-23T14:07:00.002-05:00

Trevor Magness, Senior Piano Recital
June 4, 2011
Bethany Lutheran Church, Naperville, Illinois

Class of 2011

2011-06-22T18:34:00.012-05:00

The set-up

The decorations

Sister/Aunt/Photographer/Decorator (Thanks, Deb!)

The spread

The cake

Story

Dad

Mom & Dad

Presenting the diploma

You did it, Trevor.

Reading the diploma

I think we should cut it this way.

Teamwork.

Pretty girls.

Let's party!

Friends

Family

There are those pretty girls again.

Let me show you how it's done, Son.

I think he knows how it's done.

Tired but happy.

Our music man. Congratulations, Trevor. We love you so much.

New Hampshire Presidential Debate

2011-06-14T08:20:00.005-05:00

My take on last night's GOP debate in one word per candidate (sorry, that's all I have time for today):

Mitt Romney - presidential*

Michelle Bachmann - impressive

Newt Gingrich - articulate

Herman Cain - unprepared

Tim Pawlenty - solid

Rick Santorum - indistinct

Ron Paul - brilliant

(*Don't blast me on this one, okay? Doesn't mean he's my first choice. But right now, he's got the "presidential" thing down.)

Here We Go

2011-06-11T07:51:00.004-05:00

I can't remember the last time I wrote a politically oriented post. It's been a long time. If you look at my archives you will see that my most prolific blogging period was 2008, an election year (I started blogging in 2007, so that was just a partial year). Many of my posts that year were about the presidential campaign. Each year since 2008 my output has gone down. Only sixty-three posts so far in 2011--wow! I need to step it up! One of the reasons for the decline in blogging has been the difficulty of the last few years. I guess life is never easy, is it? But there are things about the past four years that set them apart as some of the most totalizing I have ever experienced. I am hoping that I am personally ready to enter a new phase and I further hope that our country is as well.

So. There's an election coming. Next year, to be exact. And as my readers well know, I am a Republican, through and through. I cried the night Obama was elected, knowing what it meant for this country and wondering why so many people couldn't see it. Now some of my worst fears have come true. But the good news is that I think a lot of people who didn't see it before are seeing it now, and I think the country as a whole is ready to repudiate the direction we have taken.

The question, then, is who? Who is going to lead us out of this quicksand in which we find ourselves stuck and fast sinking?

I don't have a candidate yet. But for those who are interested, here is my very quick take on the people that have either announced or are likely to announce or that some are hoping will announce for the presidential campaign.

The NO's

Mitt Romney. He has repeatedly demonstrated a finger-in-the-wind method of arriving at his "principles." He refuses to repudiate his failed state-run healthcare system. He embraces global warming theory. And yes, I do have concerns about his Mormonism.

Newt Gingrich. Serial committing of adultery. Throwing Paul Ryan under the bus. Campaign staff has lost faith and deserted him. I rest my case.

Sarah Palin. I'm sorry, Palin fans. There is much to love about her, and I do. I think she is a great one to have on our side. But I think she has gone overboard on the folksy factor. In my opinion the leader of the free world needs to exude a certain seriousness and dignity and--okay, I'll say it--gravitas--that I don't think she has. The President needs to seem as well as be smarter than the rest of us. He/she needs to be someone we are comfortable with, yes, but also someone we are slightly in awe of. Palin doesn't do that for me.

The MAYBE's

Michelle Bachmann. I like her a lot. She has the right views. Her personal history speaks well of her. I think she has some of the seriousness Palin lacks. As a Lutheran, though, I think it is unfortunate that she has apparently left her church body, the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod, for political reasons.

Jon Hunstman. I really don't know much about him. Need to find out more. My husband likes him.

Tim Pawlenty. Hubby likes him, too. A serious, capable candidate with experience and conservative credentials.

Rick Santorum. I heard him on Rush this week and was very impressed. He spoke authoritatively and engagingly and he, too, has excellent conservative credentials combined with some foreign policy cred.

Herman Cain. Love to hear him talk. A true conservative, as far as I can tell. Great personal history. He gets the outside-the-beltway badge. But I think the "lack of experience" baggage will dog him. Very weak on foreign policy.

Ron Paul. Probably the smartest of all of them. If only people would listen to him. But if they still aren't after all these years I doubt they will start now. I think that, like Sarah Palin, he is to some extent hampered by his own brand.

The ONES I WISH WOULD RUN--One of them has to, don't you think?

John Bolton. Talk about gravitas! He's got in in spades! He makes Obama look like a teenager!

Chris Christie. I love his fearlessness and plain-speaking. Image-wise, he is the anti-Obama, a huge plus. But one of my Facebook friends has called him a RINO and I'm not sure why. Any thoughts on that?

Paul Ryan. A fiscal conservative with a plan to get us out of the economic mess in which we find ourselves. Incredibly articulate. Family man and Roman Catholic. Can go toe-to-toe with Obama intellectually.

Rick Perry. Has a Reaganesque, larger-than-life quality. Record of success in Texas. Married for 30 years to the same woman. Right now, would quickly go to the top of my list if he were to run (and it looks like he may).

Have I left anyone out?

For the record, I will support the GOP nominee whoever he or she is, and that includes Romney (I don't think Gingrich has a chance at the nomination). There is no such thing as a perfect candidate. But there is such a thing as Not Obama. And I will vote for Not Obama, whoever he or she is, while urging all other Not Obama supporters to band together and do the same. We cannot afford to splinter. We have got to pull our country back from the brink. Not everyone will pull us back as far as we would like to go. I hope we get a true conservative and I will work as hard as I can to support that effort. But ultimately, this election is about not going over the cliff. I know there are some who say that has already happened. I disagree. It's not too late to put on the brakes and back up the car. But we have to be in the same car, and there is only room for one driver. Let's get to work figuring out who should be behind the wheel, and then let's pile in the car and hit the road together!

The Places He Will Go

2011-06-04T23:38:00.009-05:00

I am now the mother of a high school graduate. Tonight was Trevor's senior piano recital, after which he received his high school diploma from the Philipp Nicolai Lutheran Academy (the name of our home school). Trevor's dad noted at the end of the recital that the audience had just heard the valedictorian of the class give the valedictory address . . . through this fingers. ;-)

We then adjourned to the church gym for the reception and before the bestowing of the diploma surprised Trevor with a few presentations. First, several family members and friends offered some lovely toasts. Thank you, all--you know who you are. Second, Phillip and I read a story that has become quite special to our family. You are probably familiar with it: Dr. Seuss' The Places You'll Go. The book was given to Trevor by my parents shortly after he was born. We have read it many times over the years and its words have never rung more true than they did today. Then, we played the video below. You are invited to watch and listen (with ears none too discriminating, please). The video contains photos of Trevor from birth to age 18 and is set to a song Phillip wrote some years ago with a friend. The song, entitled "The Places You Will Go," was inspired by the Dr. Seuss book and was originally composed for an ad campaign for Children's Hospital of Illinois. Phillip and I recorded it a few weeks ago for this video, which my daughter Caitlin put together for me with pictures I provided. I hope you enjoy it. (Personally, I have not made it through one viewing without crying, but then again, I'm extra fond of the subject.)

A few details to watch for: the music notes on Trevor's outfit in his hospital photo. And the Husker shirt his daddy was wearing when he held Trevor in the hospital the first time. Who would have thought that all these years later we would be sending that baby boy off to major in music at the University of Nebraska. It's almost as if God knew all along what the future had in store. :-)

(By the way, when the music changes, you have reached the end of the photos.)

Places from Cheryl on Vimeo.

Ascension Day

2011-06-02T20:58:00.011-05:00

What better Ascension Day treat than cotton candy?

Little Friends

Parade around the church campus!

Northern Illinois District President Rev. Dan Gilbert was our special guest.

Ascension Day Banner

Blowing Bubbles

Big Friends

More than Friends

Snow Cones!

Your guess is as good as mine.

Jumping time! (Are you seeing an Ascension sort of theme here?)

It was a very good day.

The Virtue of Shutting Up*

2011-06-01T20:07:00.000-05:00

In my last post I linked to an essay detailing the writer's effort to go one month without engaging in snark. If you haven't read it yet I highly recommend you do so. It is excellent in many ways. Here is one of the passages that impressed me:

But here's the thing. Without the ability to vent, I had only two options: to let something relatively stupid eat away at me -- or to just let it go. So I tried that.

. . . . As the days went on, I bit my tongue about many things, including but not limited to the following:

The journalist on TV with the squeaky voice

A good friend's seeming belief that her puppy is human

Tourists screaming outside our house about needing to buy Febreze for their car

The plumber's inability to make our bathtub hold water

The likelihood that an old acquaintance who has never not cheated will manage to keep his bits in his pants now that he's engaged

At first I worried that not talking about these things would make me not "known" to the people in my life. Maybe I've had too many years of therapy, or maybe we've all had too many years of Oprah and the imperative to "get it all out." But this was an odd and even narcissistic presumption, as though people close to me needed to be aware of my every thought in order for our relationships to be genuine.

Instead of me denying my true thoughts, I stopped giving the unproductive ones much weight. Adding credence to the theory that changing what you do changes how you think, unkind thoughts just dissipated in a matter of days. It actually doesn't matter much whether my friend's dog gets to eat sitting on a chair at her table. She has her reasons. What do I care? And it's not like I don't do anything weird, either. I think I can tell what's in the mail before I open the mailbox. Is that any worse?

Not giving voice to my flinty little put-downs also eliminated that weird guilt where you wonder if the person somehow heard you or found out what you said. I also stopped suspecting that anyone might be saying harsh things about me.

Win win win.

Then yesterday I read a blog post written by a friend who also discussed the merits of simply shutting up:

I have just been pondering the perks of not saying as much anyway as it seems to be less stressful overall. Listening is certainly happening and pondering but avoiding the ire just works better. There is so much noise etc. at home that quiet is okay. Perhaps a craving for the quiet I can get, in just listening and being stiller is what is up with me. I have just been thinking of it as 'practicing shut up'.

I think these writers are on to something. Today with the advent of social media it is so easy to give immediate voice to whatever comes into our heads. The irony of my writing that last sentence on my blog is not lost on me. But I think sometimes we are too inclined to air our thoughts when it might be better to keep them to ourselves. Something happens and we run to Facebook or Twitter and make our pronouncement about whatever it is. Until recently I was a member of a forum in which I felt pretty safe to vent, rant and spout off about almost anything. And I did just that until something happened to suggest to me that maybe I was sharing too much. I left that group and for a while it was very hard. Something would happen in my daily life that I wanted to complain about but the place I used to go complain was no longer there. And over time I have found that some of the things I used to complain about aren't eating away at me as they did before. Whereas I thought the "venting" was helping me, I'm starting to wonder if really it was hurting me, causing me to dwell on those annoyances rather than choosing between addressing them or letting them go. I think if you were to ask my husband and children they would tell you that in the months since I have not had that "b****ing post" available to me I have become a happier, more serene person.

I am not trying to knock discussion groups or forums in general. They can be a wonderful thing and I still belong to a few. And this is not to say that everyone will have the problem that I had. But for me, at this point in my life, it was not a positive in the long run to have a place where I felt "safe" to say anything because I said lots of things that in retrospect I wish I had not said.

I am also not suggesting that we all need to practice repression and bottle up everything inside. It is good to share our joys and sorrows with friends and to help each other celebrate those joys and bear up under the sorrows. But sometimes the positive act of sharing and encouraging can degenerate into a habit of whining and complaining that isn't ultimately edifying. And sometimes our need to be heard can get us into trouble. There is a point at which it is less important to get our own point of view out there such that we can be understood and win the argument than it is to just listen to and nod and love the other person.

What I found, for myself, is that if I need someone to talk to, if I need to "vent" or "rant" or cry on someone's shoulder, it is more helpful to go to an individual that has proven to be a source of encouragement in the past rather than to air my woes in the vast canyon of a place like Facebook or Twitter where I don't even know if anyone is listening. And sometimes in the time that it takes me to think about writing to or calling my "ventee" the thing that was making me crazy has been put into perspective and I no longer see the point of dredging it up.

And then, of course, there's always God who, miracle of miracles, is never too busy to listen. I don't need a computer or a cell phone to reach Him. And with Him I don't have to measure my words at all because He knows me inside and out and nothing I say can surprise or offend or shock or annoy Him. He pats me on the head, says "There, there" and turns me around to go back out into the world and give it just one more try, knowing that He is backing me up every step of the way.

"Cast all your cares on Him, because He cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7

*Bikermom, I borrowed your title. I hope you don't mind.

The Overratedness of Snark - Updated

2011-06-01T19:59:00.000-05:00

I read something in a blog post the other day that surprised me a little. The article was about the difficulty of repenting--of saying we are sorry when we have done something wrong. One of the examples given of behaviors for which we should repent was being snarky in our online interactions. I found this statement surprising because I more frequently encounter the viewpoint that snark is something to be admired and cultivated than I do the view that it is something to repent of. After all, snark is cool, isn't it? And smart and clever and fun? I have held the same view, envying those who do snark well and wishing I could be similarly witty and quick to the draw (I'm not). No wonder, then, that snark (or snarkiness) has become so cutting edge that you can now purchase a how-to book on the topic: The Snark Handbook: A Reference Guide to Verbal Sparring. That book was apparently so popular that the publisher quickly followed up with two more: The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition and The Snark Handbook: Sex Edition. And why not? Who wouldn't want to learn how to increase his snark savvy?

Such used to be my thinking. But the more I see snark at work (and it's everywhere in cyberspace), the more I wonder why people are so enamored of this phenomenon.

Here is Amazon's product description for The Snark Handbook:

It’s impossible to go a full day without using snark, so why fight it? Snark is everywhere, from television to movies to everyday life. This lively collection provides hours of entertainment—better than an Etch A Sketch, and more fun than Silly Putty! At the heart of it, being in a state of snark can be one of the most useful tools at one’s disposal and hence (yes, I used “hence”), a powerful way to get what you want. With snark, you can catch people completely off-guard, and royally p*** them off.

Included here is the Snark Hall of Fame, the Best Snarky Responses to Everyday Dumb***ness, and much more. It’s a book that will make you laugh. It’s a book that will make someone else cry. It’s a book every student of the American psyche (that’s all of us, Sparky) needs to have. Let loose. Let your inner anger become a positive rather than a negative, but most of all, have fun. (Yeah, like that’s something you know how to do.) 50 color illustrations.

The description itself is a great example of snark. There's a certain contemptuousness of tone that is typical of the genre. But what I think is even more noteworthy is the message. It is assumed that the reader wants to catch people off-guard, to "royally p*** them off" and even to "make someone else cry." The reader is further encouraged to "let loose" and channel his "inner anger." These are good things? Is this truly how people should be encouraged to approach others?

Now, you may be right now rolling your eyes at me and my lack of a sense of humor, and that's fine. It won't be the first time I've been called a wet blanket. But the more I think about it the more I think the problem with snark is that sometimes it is hard to tell where the humor ends and the anger and contempt begin. And I simply don't think that encouraging the latter is in the long run a positive or helpful thing. I have seen too many people, in both real life and cyberspace, be hurt by those who were "just kidding." Not only that, but as with most hurtful behaviors, it's not just the receiver that is hurt, but the perpetrator as well, because when we harden ourselves to hurting others we end up hurting ourselves just as much.

In considering this topic I did some research and was struck by the common thread running through many sources that snark has at its core a basic aggressiveness that is exclusive and inherently unkind:

From David Denby, Snark: A Polemic in Seven Fits, 2009:

Snark attacks individuals, not groups, though it may appeal to a group mentality. . . . Snark is a teasing, rug-pulling form of insult that attempts to steal someone's mojo, erase her cool, annihilate her effectiveness, and it appeals to a knowing audience that shares the contempt of the snarker and therefore understands whatever references he makes. It's all jeer and josh, a form of bullying that, except at its highest levels, beggars the soul of humor. . . . Snark often functions as an enforcer of mediocrity and conformity. In its cozy knowingness, snark flatters you by assuming that you get the contemptuous joke.

From Richard Telofski, Insidious Competition: The Battle for Meaning and the Corporate Image, 2010:

Snark is considered cool, hip. Just listen to any late night comedian. They use that style liberally and with great effect. Listen to college students speak among themselves and you'll hear the same sly, knowing, condescending invective used by them in attempts to: 1) separate themselves from the mainstream; and 2) declare to each other that they are all part of the same contemporary group.

And finally from Elizabeth Svoboda in Psychology Today:

So why do wisecrackers keep their bons mots coming at the risk of alienating others? Though they may not be aware of it, sarcasm is their means of indirectly expressing aggression toward others and insecurity about themselves. Wrapping their thoughts in a joke shields them from the vulnerability that comes with directly putting one's opinions out there. "Sarcastic people protect themselves by only letting the world see a superficial part of who they are," says Steven Stosny, a Washington, D.C.-based therapist and anger specialist. "They're very into impression management."

Albert Katz, a cognitive psychologist at the University of Western Ontario, has recently looked at the wisecrackers' focus on one-upsmanship from a biological perspective, showing that people whose brains are best equipped to understand sarcasm tend to have aggressive personalities. Subjects who scored high on aggression tests showed different patterns of brain activity in response to sarcasm than those who did not. The differences suggest that the aggressive subjects were processing nonliteral meaning more quickly. "Sarcasm is definitely a dominance thing—it's related to being top dog," Katz says, both for initiators of sarcastic banter and those who catch on and offer a retort.

I don't want to paint with too broad a brush. I think there is such a thing as lighthearted, fun snark. But I also think snark can easily turn mean and destructive, and it seems that more and more these days I run into an attitude of arrogance and contempt and cynicism that is not conducive to understanding. So often the door is slammed shut by snark before the conversation even starts, and that makes me sad. What ever happened to being earnest and giving the other person the benefit of the doubt? Call me an idealistic, foolish Pollyanna, but sometimes I wish we could all be a little nicer and a little less snarky. Couldn't the world use a little more peace, love and understanding?

Updated--Here's another essay on the topic that says it way better than I and fleshes out the point that snark actually hurts the purveyor of derision as much as or more than it hurts the object: My Month of No Snark.

C. S. Lewis on Charity

2011-05-28T23:37:00.003-05:00

After reading the quotes from Walther and Luther yesterday, last night I read this, and it seemed a fine follow-up to yesterday's post. While neither quotation, of course, has anything to do with electronic communication (email, Facebook, blogs, etc.), seeing as how such things didn't exist when these words were written, I find it enlightening to consider both quotations in those terms. How much more we might gain in the long run if we more highly valued kindness, charity, and fraternal harmony. From C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, Book 3, Chapter 9, on "Charity":

First, as to the meaning of the word. 'Charity' now means simply what used to be called 'alms'--that is, giving to the poor. Originally it had a much wider meaning. . . . Charity means 'Love, in the Christian sense'. But love, in the Christian sense, does not mean an emotion. It is a state not of the feelings but of the will; that state of the will which we have naturally about ourselves, and must learn to have about other people.

I pointed out in the chapter on Forgiveness that our love for ourselves does not mean that we like ourselves. It means that we wish our own good. In the same way Christian Love (or Charity) for our neighbors is quite a different thing from liking or affection. We 'like' or are 'fond of' some people, and not others. It is important to understand that this natural 'liking' is neither a sin nor a virtue, any more than your likes and dislikes in food are a sin or a virtue. It is just a fact. But, of course, what we do about it is either sinful or virtuous.

Natural liking or affection for people makes it easier to be 'charitable' towards them. It is, therefore, normally a duty to encourage our affections--to 'like' people as much as we can (just as it is often our duty to encourage our liking for exercise or wholesome food)--not because this liking is itself the virtue of charity, but because it is a help to it. . . .

The rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering whether you 'love' your neighbour; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more. If you do him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less. . . .

Consequently, though Christian charity sounds a very cold thing to people whose heads are full of sentimentality, and though it is quite distinct from affection, yet it leads to affection. The difference between a Christian and a worldly man is not that the worldly man has only affections or 'likings' and the Christian has only 'charity'. The worldly man treats certain people kindly because he 'likes' them: the Christian, trying to treat every one kindly, finds himself liking more and more people as he goes on--including people he could not even have imagined himself liking at the beginning.

Walther and Luther on Quarrels Among Christians

2011-05-28T19:25:00.005-05:00

A blog I read has lately been the scene of a rather intense theological discussion that has at times been enlightening but has at other times been discouraging due to the behavior of some of the participants. A wise commenter posted this passage from C. F. W. Walther's Essays for the Church, Vol. 2 (Concordia Publishing House, 1992). It resonated with me for a whole host of reasons, and I thought I would share it here.

Alas, dear brethren, how often do we not get into arguments and quarrels! Therefore, when I notice that if I carry the fight out to its bitter end our whole communion will suffer as a result, then—unless God’s honor and the salvation of souls are at stake—I should say, “Let’s drop this subject. It is clear that we can’t reach any agreement. Let us not destroy our precious fraternal harmony.” Everyone must keep this in mind: When people get worked up at conferences or conventions, you must immediately ask yourself, “Where will this end?” Then the officials have to say, “This will never do; there will be no further discussion of this subject, because it is not only a matter of someone’s feelings getting hurt, but the devil is trying to rob Synod of its precious possession.”

When someone has gone too far but says, “Dear brother, I didn’t intend to be so mean,” I should immediately forgive him. But if I would respond, “Do you realize the full enormity of your conduct? Do you really repent of what you’ve done?” then I am being too legalistic (da wird die Goldwage genommen). That is wrong. We should not do that unless the offender has clearly demonstrated that he is a hardened and unrepentant sinner. In that case we must firmly inform him, “If you do not repent of your sin, you are lost.” That is the proper procedure.

Luther therefore says, commenting on the words [in John 15:9], “Abide in My love”:

“You cannot avoid offending another person at times, just as little as you can keep one foot or toe from touching the other or [as little as you can avoid] hurting yourself [occasionally]. You cannot avoid such bumps and bruises to another’s ego, especially in view of the fact that here on earth we live in the kingdom of Satan, who is constantly tempting us, and on top of that, because our flesh is still weak and full of sin. No doubt that is why the most saintly and dearest of friends will occasionally disagree and prick up their ears at one another, why the devil occasionally fills our hearts with suspicion and bitterness because of one statement or one glance, so that these former friends are filled with antagonism toward each other. He is a master at that trick, works hard at perfecting it, and often succeeds with it before we are even aware of what he is up to. That is what happened between Paul and Barnabas. Acts 15:39 tells us that ‘they had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company.’

“Another example of this is the case of Jerome and Rufinus, who were the best of friends, as close as brothers. Yet they disagreed so bitterly about a preface that they never became friends again. No doubt the same thing would have happened between St. Augustine and Jerome if Augustine had not been wise enough [to avoid it]. Thus any little thing can create such quarreling and enmity that it does great harm to a whole group. Blood soon begins to boil, and the devil shoots his poisoned arrows into our hearts through evil tongues, so that neither one can say or think anything good about the other one. The devil fans that fire and tries to arouse people against one another in an attempt to create heartache and murder. . . .

“Therefore we Christians must constantly be on our guard against the devil’s skill and trickery. We must so conduct ourselves that we do not allow such poison to grow up in our hearts. Even though we are tempted to become bitter and hateful, we must suppress such feelings and remind ourselves not to let our mutual love die, but firmly cling to it. And even if resentment or disunity does arise, we must re-establish and strengthen our mutual love. For, to begin to love is not very difficult, but as Christ says in this passage, abiding in love is truly an art and a virtue. Even though, when they are first married, many couples are so madly in love that they virtually eat each other up, later on they become mortal enemies. Now, the same thing also happens among Christian brethren. Some trivial incident destroys their mutual love, and those who should cling to one another in love with all their might allow themselves to be torn apart and become the most bitter enemies. That is what happened in Christendom after the time of the apostles, when the devil raised up his troublemakers (Rottengeister) and heretics, so that bishops and pastors burned with hatred against one another and consequently the people, too, were divided into all kinds of sects and parties. As a result of that, Christianity suffered mortal harm, for where there is no love, there doctrine cannot remain pure."

Lasts

2011-05-27T07:20:00.004-05:00

My firstborn is going to college in the fall. Away to college, that is. Eight hours away. It's hard to believe the day is almost here--that day that as parents you know is going to come, because it comes to everyone, but still, like dying, you don't really believe will ever happen to you.

So, some things are going to change. Our house will still be Trevor's home, but in a few months he will no longer spend the majority of his time here. He will have a home away from home, and whereas for over 18 years I have known just about every move he has made (even moreso than some parents by virtue of the fact that we homeschool our kids), starting this fall he will make most of his moves without me. I will no longer know when he wakes up, eats, practices the piano, or goes on a bike ride. He will lead a whole separate life in a whole different place and we his family will only be privy to what he feels motivated to share.

This is all as it should be, but still, it is hard. Next week Trevor will be giving his senior piano recital (you're all invited!). Last night after choir practice he and my husband (his piano teacher) stayed at church (where the recital will be) so that Trevor could play through his program on the grand piano there. Between the Chicago Open chess tournament this weekend and company coming and other stuff next week this was the last chance Phillip had to work with Trevor before the recital. Meanwhile, also yesterday, Trevor received a list of repertoire from his new piano teacher at UNL so that he can get started on it after his recital. (Aside: I got a kick out of the fact that one of his pieces is Chopin's Nocturne in D-flat, Op. 27, No. 2, which I also played my freshman year in college.)

Anyway, when Phillip and Trevor got home last night, my husband came in to the bedroom and observed, "I just gave Trevor the last piano lesson I'll ever give him." Mind you, my husband has been teaching our son piano since Trevor was 4.

I told him, "Oh, you'll give him some coaching on his new stuff this summer" to which Phillip answered, "Yeah, I know I'll still help him, but from now it will only be when he asks me."

I guess that's what it means to let your children grow up. As parents we are called to move from a mindset of constantly directing and helping to one in which we do so only when asked. For over 18 years my husband and I have been not only Trevor's primary caretakers but also his primary teachers. That's about to change, as he learns to take care of himself and as other people take over teaching him.

There are a lot of "lasts" in a parent-child relationship. The last diaper. The last jar of baby food. The last time you help with a bath. The last time you actually pick him up or tie his shoes for him or he sits on your lap in the rocking chair. Most of the time you don't realize it's going to be the last time. It just happens, and then it doesn't happen anymore. It's something of a gut-check moment when one of those "lasts" occurs and you are able to stop and say, "This is the last time."

I'm glad the last night in his bed as a high school student is still a few months away.

Back Yard Progress

2011-05-24T08:35:00.005-05:00

I'm sure you're probably getting tired of all the boring "this is my life" stuff, but that's about all I have for you right now. Maybe one of these days my brain will kick back in.

Anyway, here was the view of our patio last month (complete with freshly planted grass seed and levitating beagle):

Here it is today.

Yep, it needs mowing. Trevor's on that. The plants you see at the front right corner of the patio will get transplanted today. Yay! Fresh vegetables and herbs are coming!

The nice thing about our house is that it faces east. So we get the morning sun, but in the evening the patio is naturally shaded. We are becoming very fond of our new patio for morning coffee and evening glasses of wine!

Here's a closer look. It needs more flowers, don't you think?

International Center Chapel

2011-05-17T10:58:00.015-05:00

My husband and I were in St. Louis Sunday and Monday. We visited the headquarters of the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod, also known as the International Center (IC for short). The occasion was the dedication of a new Boston grand piano recently donated to the IC chapel. Phillip was invited to serve as the musician and choir/instrumental director for the special chapel service, after which there was a reception followed by a short recital of classical piano music intended to showcase the new instrument. Then Phillip and I were honored to attend lunch with our synodical president Rev. Matt Harrison and several members of his office as well as the guest recitalist, the Boston-Steinway representative who facilitated the sale (herself a good LCMS Lutheran), and the family who donated the piano (who are friends of ours and members of our congregation).

A few observations about the day . . . .

The International Center chapel is quite a lovely room, made lovelier now with the addition of this fine new instrument. The chapel service was beautiful. Synodical President Rev. Matt Harrison was the liturgist and preacher. The instrumentalists and choir were excellent. Musical selections included Phillip's piano arrangement of Lamb of God as a prelude, which in its use of a broad harmonic, tonal and dynamic palette provided a great showcase for the new piano. Marty Haugen's "Shepherd Me, O God" was the psalm, Phillip's recently composed concertato on "Father Welcomes" (which in its use of instruments and choir turns that simple song into something quite special) was the hymn, and his CPH published arrangement of "Our Paschal Lamb That Sets Us Free" for flute and piano served as postlude. The service was videotaped and I hope will be made available at some point. I'll let you know if it is.

Our Synodical President is a warm, humble, fun-loving, pastoral man. I knew that before, but each time I see him I am reminded of it again. We are so blessed to have him in that office. I pray his tenure there is long.

My husband looks really good behind a piano (see below). :-)

The International Center is the quietest place I have been in a long time, quieter even than a library or a dentist's waiting room. I had to spend a couple of hours after lunch waiting for my husband as he attended a meeting in the President's office, and merely coughing or typing on my laptop seemed to intrude upon the silence. But the quiet is not a reflection of the activity that is going on there. Those people work HARD. I rode back from lunch with several of the administrative assistants in the President's office, and that short car ride impressed me with two things: those ladies are amazing, and I am so glad I am not a career woman. I would not be able to handle the pace or the pressure.

Here are a few photos from the day. I fell down on the job and got no pictures at the reception, the tour of the President's office, or lunch (I must have been suffering from celebrity awe), but here are some shots of the warm-up before chapel.

Be still, my heart.

The Cutest Cinderella You Ever Saw

2011-05-16T07:26:00.002-05:00

My daughter singing Stephen Sondheim's "On the Steps of the Palace" from Into the Woods for her voice recital yesterday. I love her flirty, playful take on what Cinderella was thinking as she fled the palace after the ball.

"On the Steps of the Palace" from Cheryl on Vimeo.

From Stephen Sondheim's Into the Woods
Performed by Caitlin Magness
May 15, 2011

He's a very smart Prince,
He's a Prince who prepares.
Knowing this time I'd run from him,
He spread pitch on the stairs.
I was caught unawares.
And I thought: Well, he cares-
This is more than just malice.
Better stop and take stock
While you're standing here stuck
On the steps of the palace.

You think, what do you want?
You think, make a decision.
Why not stay and be caught?
You think, well, it's a thought,
What would be his response?
But then what if he knew
Who you were when you know
That you're not what he thinks
That he wants?

And then what if you are?
What a Prince would envision?
Although how can you know
Who you are till you know
What you want, which you don't?
So then which do you pick:
Where you're safe, out of sight,
And yourself, but where everything's wrong?
Or where everything's right
And you know that you'll never belong?

And whichever you pick,
Do it quick,
'Cause you're starting to stick
To the steps of the palace.

It's your first big decision,
The choice isn't easy to make.
To arrive at a ball
Is exciting and all-
Once you're there, though, it's scary.
And it's fun to deceive
When you know you can leave,
But you have to be wary.
There's a lot that's at stake,
But you've stalled long enough,
'Cause you're still standing stuck
In the stuff on the steps...

Better run along home
And avoid the collision.
Even though they don't care,
You'll be better off there
Where there's nothing to choose,
So there's nothing to lose.
So you pry up your shoes.
Then from out of the blue,
And without any guide,
You know what your decision is,
Which is not to decide.
You'll leave him a clue:
For example, a shoe.
And then see what he'll do.

Now it's he and not you
Who is stuck with a shoe,
In a stew, in the goo,
And you've learned something, too,
Something you never knew,
On the steps of the palace.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-05-11T09:17:00.006-05:00

My first Wordless Wednesday post ever! Oops, I guess I just broke the rules by writing something. (It's very hard for me to not write something.) But I think this is a great photo of Evan and his friend Evan. What do you think they're talking about?

Life Update

2011-05-06T14:08:00.006-05:00

It's been a while since I've done one of these. And since I can't think of anything else on which to bloviate right now, it seems like the perfect time.

I can't remember if I have already shared this here. My oldest is going to college this fall! He will major in piano at University of Nebraska, studying with American virtuoso Dr. Paul Barnes while taking as many classes as he can manage in all the other areas he's interested in (math, history, and economics, to name a few). This course of action is made possible by University of Nebraska, which is recognizing Trevor's National Merit finalist status to the tune of about $25,000 per year. We are so very proud and thankful. The National Merit Corporation itself has awarded some additional funding to Trevor, leaving me and my husband to joke that we may actually save money on this deal (although that is now in doubt considering the price of fuel and the many trips we expect to make to Lincoln over the next four years).

With Trevor soon to give his senior recital and graduate from our home school, we are trying to cram in a few educational goals that still remain. He and Caitlin are feverishly working to complete Apologia Biology. They're in the final, dissection portion of the course. Our kitchen is going to be the scene of some serious mutilation over the next few weeks.

We are also working to get a research paper under our belt--you know, note cards, bibliography, the whole bit. Having taught this skill to many reluctant high school and college students over the years, my heart has been warmed by my current students' enthusiasm for the project. A few nights ago, as we practiced writing note cards at the kitchen table, Caitlin raised her head and announced, "This is fun!" I love homeschooling.

The summer is filling up faster than any summer I can remember. In May and June are the Chicago Open chess tournament, Trevor's senior recital and home school graduation, a trip to Nebraska to register Trevor for fall classes and a one-week music camp at our church. In July our niece is coming for a week and we will enjoy that family time with a trip to Warren Dunes in Michigan. Immediately thereafter is our Vacation Bible School & Creation Camp followed by my husband's departing for the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod's national worship conference in Minnesota and my daughter's departing for Higher Things (a Lutheran youth conference) in Atlanta. Trevor will not be attending Higher Things this year as he will be intensely preparing at that time to represent the state of Illinois at the national Denker high school chess championship in Orlando in early August. About a week after he and Phillip return from Orlando, we will pack up Trevor and his belongings in the van and move him to his new home away from home in Lincoln. Shortly thereafter Phillip and Caitlin will travel to Montreal (!) so that Phillip can do some teaching of hymns and liturgy to French-speaking Lutherans there (Caitlin will accompany him as his assistant and will get a real life opportunity to put her own French study to good use!). Finally, in September, Phillip returns to Congo for a second round of similar teaching there. Have passport, will travel! He is very much looking forward to seeing his friends in Africa once again.

As for me, in between facilitating everyone else's activities I hope to spend a little more time getting our house in order (we are still recovering from the construction--or was it destruction?--project that dominated our year) and preparing for what I hope will be a more organized homeschool year. Much of my 7-year-old's schooling this year was unschooling-by-default, which seemed to work pretty well as he is fluently reading and computing at at least a third grade level. The one area in which he is not excelling is writing, so that will be our main focus entering second grade. He and I will also launch into a multi-year study of world history using Susan Wise Bauer's Story of the World series, and I'm hoping to do more in the way of field trips to some of our incredibly rich and educational Chicago-area destinations.

Back to summer plans. I imagine that the care of our little back yard vegetable & herb garden will fall mostly to me this summer, since my husband will be too busy to do it (he also has three Doxology conferences, for which he serves as musician, sprinkled throughout the summer). Other than that, it sure would be nice to actually finish a book or two and get some exercise. I started out the year well, attending an aqua aerobics class faithfully for a number of weeks, but then weather and illness and schedule craziness took their toll. I know--excuses, excuses. I think I'll stop making them now and go outside. Why don't you join me, wherever you are? See you under the sun!

The Faith of a Child

2011-05-01T16:06:00.005-05:00

Today at church I was visiting with a friend whose 87-year-old mother has been in the hospital. I asked my friend about his mother's condition and we talked for a little while as he filled me in on her health situation: pneumonia, erratic blood pressure, and degenerative heart disease. Evan, my 7-year-old, waited while we talked, but as we were wrapping up the conversation and my friend was starting to walk away it became clear that Evan had something he wanted to say.

"Mommy, Mommy!"

"Yes, Evan?"

"Does Mr. C_____ know about Honey-Nut Cheerios?"

"Um, I don't know, Evan. What about them?"

"They reduce the risk of heart disease!"

Wow. Evan hadn't just been waiting; he had been listening. My friend smiled at Evan, who was brimming with excitement to have this news to share (he knows the gentleman in question pretty well).

"Why, thank you, Evan! That is great to know!"

As my friend walked away, Evan smiled at me happily and said, "Maybe Mr. C_____'s mother will get better now!"

Sigh. If only it were so simple. And yet, when it comes to the thing that most ails us, it is. Honey-Nut Cheerios may not cure heart disease, but Jesus does cure sin. And we who are fed by Him have the great blessing of being able to share that Good News with others. May we do so with the faith and enthusiasm of a child, unquestioningly trusting in God's Word as a little boy trusts the label on his box of cereal.

Pass the Cheerios, please.

This Old House

2011-04-30T06:32:00.001-05:00

It's a beautiful day in Chicagoland! It finally cleared up (and dried up and warmed up) enough for me to take a picture for a house update. Note the airborne beagle! LOL! (She took off running after something just as I snapped the photo, and my new camera was actually capable of capturing the moment without blurring.)

As a reminder, here's what the back of our house used to look like:

We are finally nearing the end of our home repair project. The photo shows the finished patio and doggy door and grass growth beginning on the reseeded areas. There are still a few things remaining to be done inside, including some painting and staining and moving of a wall in our laundry room to bring the house up to code (inspection revealed inadequate access to our electrical panel). But the end is definitely in sight. We are enjoying having a watertight house, not to mention our new bookshelves. And Shiloh has learned to use her doggy door like a pro! No more being summoned to let her in and out all day long! It has been a long winter, but the result is so worth it. Soon that new patio will sport a new grill and some flower pots. In time, maybe even some new patio furniture. Let us know when to expect you for some slabs and cold beers and backyard croquet (we have room for that now)!

Victimae Paschali Laudes/Christ is Arisen

2011-04-24T21:47:00.004-05:00

Victimae Paschali Laudes Sequence from Cheryl on Vimeo.

The medieval chant with a chorus based on CHRIST IST ERSTANDEN ("Christ is Arisen") composed by Phillip Magness. Sung by Proclaim, the adult choir of Bethany Lutheran Church, Naperville, IL, April 23, 2011.

Easter Vigil 2011

2011-04-24T14:38:00.010-05:00

One of my favorite services of the entire church year. At my parish the music for the Vigil is always led by the Men's Chorus, and I can't imagine anything better suited to the awe and mystery of this liturgy than the rich tones of men chanting and singing in four-part harmony.

Easter Vigil Candlelight Procession and Exultet from Cheryl on Vimeo.

Led by Pastor Rossow, Cantor Magness, and the Men's Chorus of Bethany Lutheran Church, Naperville, Illinois, April 23, 2011. Exsultet--9th century Gregorian chant; Easter Vigil Proclamation setting by Phillip Magness.

"Jesus Christ, My Sure Defense" from Cheryl on Vimeo.

Sung by the Men's Chorus of Bethany Lutheran Church, Naperville, Illlinois.

Easter Vigil 2011

"Soul, Adorn Thyself With Gladness" from Cheryl on Vimeo.

Men's Chorus of Bethany Lutheran Church, Naperville, Illinois

Easter Vigil 2011

"Lamb of God" Like You Haven't Heard It Before

2011-04-23T13:45:00.005-05:00

A few months ago my husband was commissioned by the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod (WELS) to compose a piano meditation on the Twila Paris song "Lamb of God." The piece is to be featured at that church body's triennial national worship conference this summer in St. Peter, Minnesota. Last month Phillip completed the composing process and began learning to play his piece! He says it is not technically difficult, but it is so unusual that I think it is at least conceptually challenging. It is much more "classical" than "popular" in its approach. The result is haunting and beautiful and is growing on me with each successive listen. Here are Phillip's thoughts on the composition process (you can read his full blog post about the piece here):

I used some polytonal techniques to paint "no sin to hide" and some impressionism to highlight "brought me to his side" and "O wash me in His precious blood". I created a mutation of the tune's intervals to accompany "I was so lost", and derived a harmonic progression from the polytonal assertions I made in the first stanza to accompany the Passion stanza, with pianistic flourishes to evoke the mocking and crucifixion. I was able to land all this with recapitulations of several ideas in the third stanza and found resolution in the end for "and to be called a lamb of God."

Phillip decided to play his arrangement at our Good Friday Tenebrae yesterday, so I was able to capture a recording. My daughter helped me to edit the video so that it begins and ends with a photo of the altar at our church as it will look tonight at the Easter Vigil. It's not the best visual--I would have preferred that the photo be of a Lenten or Good Friday theme to reflect the seriousness of the music, but I didn't have one readily available. Maybe I can eventually switch it out with something more in keeping with the mood of the piece. But at this point it will depend on my daughter's availability since I have zero movie-making skill!

You are invited to listen and to meditate on the words--provided below--that the music is intended to evoke. I suggest reading line by line as you listen. Listen for the crucifixion, the scorning and mocking, the washing, and the Lamb. You will hear the text painted by the music. Sometimes the music is not pretty, and that is by design--the crucifixion of our Lord was not pretty. But in the midst of all that ugliness two thousand years ago was the sweetest, most beautiful thing that ever was or will be. And the beauty is not the sentimental, Hallmark card sort, but the type that makes you catch your breath in disbelief as you try and fail to take it all in. I think in its refusal to be forced into a musical mold this piece captures that sense of puzzled awe. How can this be, that the Lord of the Universe died for me?

I hope you are blessed by listening as I was.

Your only Son no sin to hide
But You have sent Him From Your side
To walk upon this guilty sod
And to become the Lamb of God.

Your gift of Love they crucified
They laughed and scorned him as he died
The humble King they named a fraud
And sacrificed the Lamb of God.

Chorus:
Oh Lamb of God, Sweet Lamb of God
I love the Holy Lamb of God
Oh wash me in His precious Blood
My Jesus Christ the Lamb of God.

I was so lost I should have died
But You have brought me to Your side
To be led by Your staff and rod
And to be called a Lamb of God

A God of Life

2011-04-21T08:51:00.005-05:00

I'm turning my Facebook status this morning into a blog post.

Last night Evan, my 7-year-old, asked me one of those questions that makes ME feel like a 7-year-old: "Why didn't God kill the snake before it could tempt Adam & Eve?"

I fumbled around a bit with this and that, telling Evan that in His death on the cross Jesus did conquer the devil, but finally summarized with the standard "There are things we don't fully understand now that we will understand some day when we get to heaven."

This morning I shared Evan's question with my husband, who responded: "Well, God doesn't kill US before WE can sin, does He? The devil kills his enemies; the Lord kills Himself to save His enemies, reconciling the world to Himself."

See why I love this man?

Smart, Funny Ladies

2011-04-20T16:10:00.002-05:00

Last week I encouraged you to drop in on the ladies at A Classic Case of Madness. Today with equal enthusiasm I recommend . . . And We Laughed and Laughed. Read this post and you'll see why. You will be the one who laughs and laughs!

By the way, the aforementioned blogs have one blogger in common. Lucky for us, not only is she smart and funny, but she has smart, funny friends! If you haven't yet done so, check them out. You can thank me later!

On Prayer

2011-04-18T22:20:00.005-05:00

Most days we have morning devotion as a family using the order of daily prayer from LSB (Lutheran Service Book), p. 295. When we get to the prayers "for others and ourselves" our custom is for the devotion leader, usually my husband but sometimes me if he is gone, to start and then for others to follow, adding their own petitions. We follow the form of the day-by-day suggestions given on page 294. For example, on Tuesday, the suggested petitions are as follows: "For deliverance against temptation and evil; for the addicted and despairing, the tortured and oppressed; for those struggling with sin." We usually pray these and then add our own in the form of general petitions--"For those who are sick"--and specific ones--"For Dad's trip to Congo."

In addition to the obvious benefit of simply starting the day with prayer, I am seeing the benefit of all of us learning how to pray better and becoming comfortable doing so as a family. And I can't help but be reminded of several times in my life when I found myself in a group of fellow Christians who decided to pray together. My first reaction was usually panic. WHAT? You want me to pray out loud, in front of people? I used to think that my reaction must mean that there was something wrong with me--that I was not as spiritual or fervent in my belief as my friends for whom spoken, ex corde ("from the heart") prayer seemed to come so naturally and easily. I have come to understand that there are good reasons for having misgivings about that sort of group prayer. In the first place, considering the sinful condition of the human heart, I'm not sure "from the heart" prayer is a good thing! Additionally, when there is not a pastor present to take spiritual responsibility for the group and when no one else in the group can properly fill the pastor's role (such as a father does with his own children), the prayer is like a captainless boat, floating directionless on the waves, in danger at any time of getting slammed against the rocks. I think when I have found myself in the position of being asked to pray out loud on behalf of others I have realized in my gut that it is not appropriate for me to do so. It's one thing to say the Lord's Prayer together--they are the words Jesus gave us to pray and we know we can't go wrong with them. When we pray those words together Jesus is the pastor in the group, providing the needed oversight. But I am very uncomfortable with one Christian--myself included--who does not have that sort of responsibility for another presuming to pray on behalf of the other. I don't trust myself to speak rightly, and I don't trust most others to do so for me.

But when we pray as a family the appropriate spiritual oversight is there in the form of my husband and by extension, my pastor. Even if neither one of them is there and I am called to lead the prayer, I feel secure in doing so because I have been provided with a framework that will assure that the prayer is faithful. I don't have to worry about putting the words together because they have been laid out for me. We pray the Lord's Prayer, move on to the recommended petitions for the day, and then add our own. What is wonderful is to see the comfort level of our children with this sort of prayer. Our 7-year-old loves this part of family devotion and usually offers up more petitions than anyone else at the table. Sometimes the petitions are quite simple: "For Mommy," "For Daddy," "For the military," and "For our friends." But he has begun adding "that" clauses that make the prayer much more precise. Yesterday, his thoughts were on his cousin's upcoming visit this summer, and he prayed, "For _____, that she would have a safe flight when she comes to visit this summer" and "For Aunt _____, that she would not be lonely when _____ is away." In my opinion, those are fairly advanced prayer constructions for a 7-year-old. And the older I get the more I realize I am not much different from that 7-year-old. I need a framework. I need the words that God has provided for me. If I try to pray without either, my thoughts quickly wander to all sorts of other things that my sinful mind deems more important.

If you are wondering how to begin praying more regularly either on your own or with your children, you can't go wrong with LSB Daily Prayer, available in the hymnal or on laminated cards you can purchase from Concordia Publishing House. I'm thinking we should start using the cards because the pages in our hymnals are getting worn from daily use! There are orders for morning, noon, evening, and night. You don't have to worry about what to say or how to say it--it's all there for you. So relax. And pray.

Palm Sunday

2011-04-17T17:00:00.002-05:00

A sequence from our Palm Sunday service that features the children's choir singing a setting of the Verse of the Day by Bruce Backer and continues with the organ introduction to the hymn, "No Tramp of Soldiers' Marching Feet" played by the Cantor (who also composed said introduction). I love the contrast between the childen's sweet voices singing "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified" and the first stunning, unsettling note from the organ. For me, it starkly conveys the turning of our eyes from the celebration of Jesus' triumphant, palm-laden entrance into Jerusalem to the ominous and grim contemplation of His journey to the Cross. The hour has come.

Palm Sunday 2011 from Cheryl on Vimeo.

Peter Denies Jesus

2011-04-17T16:35:00.006-05:00

Today at our 11:15 service the adult choir presented the Heinrich Schutz St. Matthew Passion in its entirety. Here is an excerpt that dramatizes Peter's threefold denial of Jesus. It features Phillip Magness as narrator, Trevor Magness as Peter, Elaine Gavin and Bethany Novak as the maids, and Erich Keller as Judas. The text is found below the video.

St. Matthew Passion - Heinrich Schutz from Cheryl on Vimeo.

Narrator: And then they came forward and spit in his face and beat him with their fists, and others slapped him in the face as they said to him:

Chorus: "Can you tell us, can you tell us, O Christ, who was it? Who slapped your face?"

Narrator: Now Peter sat outside the palace, and a maid came up to him and said:

1st Maid: "And you! You were also with Jesus of Galilee!"

Narrator: He denied it in front of them and said:

Peter: "I, I don't know what you're saying!"

Narrator: Then he went outside the door where another maid saw him and said to the others:

2nd Maid: "This man was also with Jesus of Nazareth!"

Narrator: And he denied it again, and he swore:

Peter: "I do not know the man!"

Narrator: And a little while later, some of the bystanders came and said to Peter:

Chorus: "Truly you are also one of his disciples. Your way of speaking betrays you."

Narrator: Then he began to curse and swear:

Peter: "I do not know that man!"

Narrator: And at once a rooster crowed. And Peter remembered the words of Jesus spoken to him: ""Before the rooster crows, three times you will have denied me." And he went out and wept bitterly. When morning came, all the high priests and the elders of the people considered the case of Jesus, that they might kill him. And they bound him, and led him away, and took him to the governor, Pontius Pilate. When Judas had seen the results of his betrayal and that Jesus was condemned to die, then he repented, and took the thirty pieces of silver to the high priests and elders and said:

Judas: "I have sinned. I have betrayed innocent blood."

Narrator: And they said:

Chorus: "What is that to us now? You did it!"

Narrator: He threw down the silver in the temple and went out and hanged himself. But the high priests took the silver pieces and said:

Chorus: "We cannot put them in the treasury of the temple. They are the price of blood."

Perplexed

2011-04-15T14:57:00.005-05:00

At the risk of being labeled "insensitive," I just have to say that I don't get this:

Day of Silence

The website says that the point of the observance is "to bring attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in their schools."

Well, for several of my adolescent years I was the victim of extensive name-calling, bullying and harassment that had nothing to do with my being lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (I am none of those things). Why wasn't there a Day of Silence back then for me and others like me? Why doesn't this Day of Silence focus on raising awareness of ALL kinds of bullying and condemning those who do it, whatever the reason (which in truth just boils down to sin, like all meanness)?

The answer is because at its core the Day of Silence is not about bullying but about promoting a political agenda in the same way that hate crime legislation is. I don't get that either. Sin is sin, evil is evil, and hatred is hatred, no matter the motivation. Why is it somehow inherently worse to harm someone because of his race, sexual identity or religion than it is to harm him just because you can?

Animals, Animals, Animals

2011-04-14T08:21:00.005-05:00

A few weeks ago Evan and I started an animal "unit." (I put the word "unit" in quotation marks because it suggests organization and planning, neither of which are in play here.) We started reading The Story of Dr. Dolittle, and I pulled an armload of animal books off the shelf. A few of them are old favorites from the circa 1960 Random House "Step-Up" series (here's an example): Animals Do the Strangest Things, Reptiles Do the Strangest Things, Insects Do the Strangest Things, Birds Do the Strangest Things, and Fish Do the Strangest Things. As a child, I devoured these books. (There are other books in the series--mostly biographical and historical--and I credit the reading of those books with much of the basic historical knowledge that has remained with me. Somewhere along the way we got rid of my set of books, but a few years ago I had the opportunity to buy a vintage set online for a very reasonable price, and I grabbed it.)

Another book that came down from the shelf was one that has been there a year or two but that we had not yet investigated: Eric Carle's Animals, Animals.

You know how there are books you enjoy but then pass on and books you keep and treasure? This one is in the second category--it will always have a place in our home. Within a few minutes of opening it Evan was hooked. The book combines Eric Carle's illustrations with various poems and literary passages about animals. Authors included are Shakespeare, Emily Dickinson, Kipling, Lewis Carroll, Jack Prelutsky, Ogden Nash, and Benjamin Franklin, as well as passages from the Bible, Talmud, and folk sayings and poems from a variety of cultures. Evan on his own has repeatedly revisited this book even though some of the selections are not typical first grade fare:

"I will not change my horse with any that treads . . .
When I bestride him I soar. I am a hawk.
He trots the air; the earth sings when he touches it."
--William Shakespeare

I dare you to tell my kid that passage is beyond his reading/comprehension level.

The third group of books we have been enjoying is from Usborne: the "Beginner" series. I believe several of these books are included in Sonlight's primary science curriculum. Evan has enjoyed Eggs and Chicks and Tadpoles and Frogs but halfway through his reading of Caterpillars and Butterflies he brought me the book and instructed me to put it where he could no longer see it. He's a sensitive one, this child. The illustration of a puss mouth caterpillar rising up to frighten its enemies was too much for him. This book will be stored for the time being.

What book(s) have you and your child been enjoying lately?

Of Style and Substance

2011-04-08T15:54:00.000-05:00

A few days ago I was gifted with this sparkly, fancy thing:

(I know--I hate verbification as much as the next grammar girl, but please, work with me here . . . I'm trying to live up to my new stylish image!)

Anyway, thanks to The Shurt'ugal's Post for this honorific honor! As with most awards of a bloggy nature, this one comes with a string attached: I am to pass it on to another of stylish bent. For a few days I wracked my brain trying to pick just the right recipient. Luckily for me (and my brain), today I stumbled on the perfect candidate. "Stylish" does not begin to adequately describe this new blog and the promise it holds. The bloggers are three mommy types who are trying to enlarge their minds (BWAHAHAHAHA) by pursuing the classical education they never had. They call their quest "A Classic Case of Madness." Please pay them a visit. I think if you do you'll be hooked.

Liturgical Q&A

2011-04-07T14:42:00.004-05:00

Today I received a question in reference to my April 3, 2011 post, "Fourth Sunday in Lent." I decided to ask my husband to respond rather than try to do so myself. I think both the question and the answer are extremely important and so decided to share them here rather than in the comments section of the original post.

Question from a reader:

Hey, Cheryl, I was a little surprised to see "Open the Eyes of My Heart." I've heard that sung in the local Methodist church, and to them it's almost a gateway to mysticism. It's cool that it's against the VERY trinitarian HOLY, HOLY, HOLY, but if I didn't know the people involved, there would be a question here: are we trying to redeem "Open the Eyes . . . ", or are we introducing vague theology in our hymnody? Maybe this is a question for Phillip? :) Thank you for your time.

Answer from Cantor:

Hi _____,

Yes, we use some contemporary Christian music at Bethany. I'm surprised you didn't know that! :)

I can't speak to how your local Methodists use the song. I know Baptists sing "Come to Calvary's Holy Mountain" to get folks to make their decision for Jesus, but that doesn't stop me from using that hymn. So many hymns in LSB or choir anthems typically sung in our churches can easily be used by those who teach falsely.

I think if you review the text of "Open the Eyes of My Heart", and the stanza of "Holy, Holy, Holy" that I paired it with, and then read the Gospel of the Day, the healing of the Man Born Blind, I think you'll see how it all works together.

We are dead in sin. Blind. God healed the blind man. He was not just given earthly sight, but spiritual sight. God cleaned his heart out. Ergo, God opened the "eyes" of his heart. We too are born in sin and are spiritually blind. By the working of the Holy Spirit, our mouths are opened, our eyes our opened . . . . and our hearts are opened. As we sing in the Psalm 51 offertory, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me . . . . "

Luther uses this language: "Set our hearts with fire aglow." Obviously, hearts don't literally burn. The point is they are filled with faith. Similarly, we ask that we be given "hearts that see," not that hearts can literally see, but that they be filled with faith. Burning hearts. Seeing hearts. Clean hearts. All are simply metaphors for faithful hearts.

"Perfect in pow'r and love, and purity."

"Pour out your power and love, as we sing 'Holy, Holy, Holy.'"

God pours out His power. He cleans our hearts. He opens our eyes. He fills us with His love.

Being cleansed by His grace and being filled with His power and love, our mouths praise Him, singing Sanctus, Sanctus, Sanctus.

Amen?

Joy in Suffering

2011-04-07T09:50:00.004-05:00

The theme of the Lenten midweek services at my church this year is "Journey into Joy." It is drawn from LCMS President Rev. Matt Harrison's Little Book on Joy and incorporates prayers written by Rev. Harrison. Last night one of the readings was 1 Samuel 2: 1-10, the Song of Hannah, prayed in joy and thanksgiving by Hannah for the gift of a child, Samuel, whom she had vowed to offer back to the service of the Lord if she were so blessed. Here is an excerpt:

"The Lord kills and brings to life; he brings down to Sheol and raises up. The Lord makes poor and makes rich; he brings low and he exalts. He raises up the poor from the dust; he lifts the needy from the ash heap to make them sit with princes and inherit a seat of honor." - 1 Samuel 2: 6-8

Hannah kept her vow. When Samuel was weaned she took him to the temple. How hard that must have been! I can't imagine her pain. And yet in her suffering there was great joy. My pastor noted that Hannah's words are a beautiful proclamation of Law and Gospel. God kills so that He can raise up to new life. He brings low so that He may exalt. It is in our suffering that our helplessness is most acutely felt. How much greater the joy, then, when the Father reaches down to pick us up and give us a seat at His royal table!

Here is the prayer by Rev. Harrison that followed the reading in our order of service last night:

"Like Hannah, I offer to You, O Lord, the favorite son of my soul--my pride, my bitterness toward others, my thankless joyless heart. Cause my enemies--sin, death, and the devil--to flee before You, that I may rejoice in Your salvation. Amen."

Just Play

2011-04-05T14:10:00.008-05:00

From time to time my husband likes to tell a story to his young music students. Usually he tells it before an upcoming performance. It consists of advice that was given to him by his college piano teacher before he gave his Master's recital. I have always thought it was great advice for musicians. More and more I am coming to see how it is great advice for life. The story goes something like this. (When my husband delivers it to his students he approximates the accent of his Russian piano teacher. You will just have to imagine that part.)

"Phillip, in this world you have friends and you have enemies. No matter what you do, your friends will love you and your enemies will hate you. So if you give bad recital, your friends will say, 'Oh, Phillip, it is not your fault! You are fine pianist! You just need better teacher!' whereas your enemies will say, 'That Phillip--he is no good. We knew he could not make recital, even with such an excellent teacher.' But if you give great recital, your friends will say, 'Phillip, we knew you could do it! You are great pianist!' whereas your enemies will say, 'Look at what that teacher did with Phillip! She is miracle worker. He was nothing and she made him something.'

"You understand, Phillip? No matter what you do, people will see you how they want to see you. Your friends will still love you, and your enemies will still hate you. So, don't worry, Phillip. Just PLAY!"

Great advice. Now if only I could follow it.

Fourth Sunday in Lent

2011-04-03T19:09:00.004-05:00

Our 11:15 service today featured the musical talents of DavidSong, our high school liturgical ensemble. This is a flexible group whose membership varies according to the availability of those who participate. The young people in the videos below, however, seem to always be there. I think it is significant that three of the members of this group also sing on a weekly basis with the adult choir.

You will see from the videos that this group does not come to perform but to serve the proclamation of the Word. The music is determined by the message, not by the musicians' preference. This group serves the liturgy just like every other musical group at our parish.

Here they are leading the congregation in responsively chanting the Psalm of the Day (Psalm 142). The antiphon was composed by Phillip Magness and is available at Liturgy Solutions.

Psalm 142 from Cheryl on Vimeo.

Here are the same singers highlighting the second stanza of the entrance hymn, "Praise the One Who Breaks the Darkness." This video was made during rehearsal:

Praise the One Who Breaks the Darkness from Cheryl on Vimeo.

The hymn stanza is also available at Liturgy Solutions.

Finally, here is DavidSong singing during the voluntary. The piece is an arrangement by the Cantor that combines contemporary composer Paul Baluche's "Open the Eyes of My Heart" with the hymn "Holy, Holy, Holy." Today's Gospel reading, John 9:1-41, tells of Jesus' healing of the man born blind. The theme of spiritual blindness as the result of sin is reflected in the words of the song, and those words are expanded upon in the hymn: "Holy, holy, holy, Though the darkness hide Thee, Though the eye of sinful man Thy glory may not see, Only Thou art holy; there is none beside Thee, Perfect in pow'r, in love, and purity."

This piece is an excellent example of how electric bass, guitar, and keyboard can find a home in authentic Lutheran worship.

Open the Eyes of My Heart/Holy, Holy, Holy from Cheryl on Vimeo.

For more information on each piece, follow the Vimeo link.

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Beyond His Years

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Last Week

Evan Goes to Children's Choir

Random Thought of the Day

Weekend Update

Psalm 29

Love Letter for My Daughter

Weekend Update

WaterLife

Inconvenient Blessings

Be Careful What You Dream

Horla

Michele, Not My Belle

Life Update

The Ghost of 9/11 Past

Back to School, Part 3

Back to Congo

Back to School, Part 2

My Interesting Kid

Blog Silence

Fall Schedule

Back to School, Part 1: Addendum

Back to School, Part 1

Girls' Night Out

Acolyte Picnic

"We must risk being taken in, if we are to get anything"

It's An Acquired Smell

Sending a Kid to College

Measuring Our Words and Those of Others

Giving Children the Best

Fun Facebook Games

Facebook Thoughts

Real Men

A Fourth of July Prayer

Proverbs 31 Women, Revisited

Reflets dans l'eau - Debussy

Class of 2011

New Hampshire Presidential Debate

Here We Go

The Places He Will Go

Ascension Day

The Virtue of Shutting Up*

The Overratedness of Snark - Updated

C. S. Lewis on Charity

Walther and Luther on Quarrels Among Christians

Lasts

Back Yard Progress

International Center Chapel

The Cutest Cinderella You Ever Saw

Wordless Wednesday

Life Update

The Faith of a Child

This Old House

Victimae Paschali Laudes/Christ is Arisen

Easter Vigil 2011

"Lamb of God" Like You Haven't Heard It Before

A God of Life

Smart, Funny Ladies

On Prayer